Hun, you should never be ashamed of telling people what you think is wrong with you.

I'm 20 but I'm also a High Functioning Autistic.

I say and do things 'weird' all the time. I also have a verbal version of dyslexia because I think too fast to speak and often mix stuff up even to the point of combining an entire paragraph into bits and pieces of exactly one sentence. Even on the way home just 10 minutes ago I saw someone with a broken headlight and said "Wow, someone got their knight locked out."
I don't always catch it.

And I'm not exactly the most social person. I try to be because I want to be out of my comfort zone but I often fall back into my own little thing while ignoring the world.

This is why I do art.

This is why I started the bank.

A way to show my appreciation without the awkwardness of explaining. And why I put so much effort into what I do.

I don't intend to ignore people but I often do so because I'm not sure how to react or how to word my reactions.

I am better at it than when I was younger though. Learned how to take things in my own way. Even then, sometimes people think what I say or word is something different than what I mean. I'm just lucky to have found a few people to be close to that do understand what I mean. c:

I don't go around telling people I'm Autistic but it's not because I think people will shame me. I avoid telling people because I want to see just how long it takes for them to see that I'm not 'normal'. Most just notice that I've a higher IQ than normal. Others would call me Shy. In someplaces I am a confident person with a way of wording things in a way that makes people need to be somewhere else.

But that's just me being me.

I do admit I still sometimes have breakdowns or fits of rage that someone from the outside would think was for no apparent reason but I've learned to avoid the situations that cause them. Usually specific noises.
Angry Yelling, Vacuum cleaner running on Wood/Linoleum, and metal on metal interactions are usually what do it in for me. >.>;
Actions such as Bugging me when I've just settled down/am trying to put myself to bed or repeatedly asking me to do something that seems hypocritical is another way to set me off.
But I'm still better at it than when I was younger.
Keep working at it and you'll figure it out.

Find something that you really like to do that calms you and go ahead and do it a lot. If it's art or music, you'll eventually get really good at it.

The best thing about being Autistic or having Asperger's Syndrome is that despite what people tell you, you are unique. Our minds are wired differently and that's not a bad thing. It just means that once we find that tight wire talent that we've been keyed into, you'll get really really good at it if you do it a lot.
Mine is in creation. I can learn how to make or work with new objects rather quickly. I can pick up an instrument faster than most people. I enjoy organizing things. Even though I cannot master one single thing I can take all of these little gathered talents and create one big amazing thing.

When it comes to distraction though, I admit I cannot focus on one thing for too long.
It's funny because I will then auto-resume the exact conversation days.. or even weeks later without realizing I was doing it, automatically picking up from the last thing said, often expecting people to know what I was talking about. Then i get confused why nobody else was continuing it. I've come to learn that when this happens I need to give a bit more background or a reminder if people give me a dumbfounded look.

...Animela, let's work together on it then, and honestly...I would have never noticed if you hadn't told me either...

...lol, to be honest, I had thought you did not like me or something so I...tried to avoid talking to much to you because I was scared...that maybe I was being bothersome to you or something worse DX

Actually by default most people stay in my 'neutral' zone until they've either earned my trust completely or have proven to not be worth my time. I've had a lot of people be in this neutral zone for years and years. Some being in the "Trust" Zone until they dropped back into Neutral due to lack of communication aka me not knowing them anymore.
Very few make it to my "I dislike you, go away". xD
I've only had... Maybe 4 of those despite all of the people I've met in my life.

I just have a habit of ignoring people or not responding because I'm not sure how to respond.

Never fear me, just keep poking this little silly Furry girl.
She'll eventually respond with enough prodding.

I'm pretty charismatic when you can get me going but some people get so used to this when they know me that they always assume something is wrong when I act different.

A good example is at my workplace.
I'm a Manager there.

I'm pretty talkative, usually have something to say, usually have pretty good comebacks and am pretty witty even if most people try to walk away from me redfaced before 5 minutes are up. We're pretty perverted at work and I'm pretty good at making people flustered. I'm pretty comfortable which is why this happens.
However.
When we get new people... The first time I meet a 'new person', that entire day I will literally 'ignore' everyone and only tend to my duties as a manager, doing the requests of the cashiers, paperwork, working my butt off ect. rather than socializing while I observe this 'new' person.

People always ask me what's wrong. It's not normal for me to ignore people at work.

But I'm not sure why it happens. It just does.

Othertimes this happens though I'm either feeling sick, inadequate, or most often.. Antisocial.

I do have brief periods of being antisocial where I don't even want to talk to my boyfriend even though I still will because I don't want to ignore him because that will just make him worry more.
During these days I'd rather not go to work.
I'd rather not touch the computer with its skype.
I'd rather hide in the closet with my drawing supplies. This feeling often lasts for 2 whole days up to a span of 2 weeks. I'm honestly not sure why it happens but I think it may be due to the fact that on a subconcious level, I need to recharge emotionally before I can handle the major onslaught again. The more I force myself to be with people during these antisocial days, the longer they last and sooner they will happen again. The emotional recharge is just my best guess to this unanswered question.

*pops in after waking up*

Like I said before, it is good of you to do this, it makes a lot of things clearer, including how you act. ^^

Until you told me, I really thought you were being silly on purpose.

And I didn't know about your parents telling you not to say it. Sometimes it can be hard to say something when you are basically taught from young that it is a bad thing. *snuggles*

Hey Nightbane,

You have NOTHING to be ashamed or sorry for. Please always remember that, and if you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. Feel free to send me random things because, odds are, they'll make me smile on a bad day. :)

I have another friend with Asperger's as well, so it's nothing new for me. However, until you mentioned it in this post, I didn't notice you had it. I thought your hyper and happy attitude was just from your personality.

You are much braver than you realize, and we can start it off with this post. It takes quite a bit of courage to talk about something like this, especially since it affects you personally. I'm proud and admire you for opening up to the rest of the community about this. I'm also honored that you shared this information with me and other pinged people.

I hope your day and week are going nicely for you, but if not, you know how to contact me. ;)

We're all weird. :D Yeah, some a little more off from the normal weirdness zone, but still, we're all a little weird. And silly!

(Normal weirdness zone... Paradox??)

I'm not really a sympathetic type, even though I try to be, but I do believe in good friends who always have your back. <3

You know what night? I don't care what you have. (Unless it's some terrible disease, oh no! D:) You are a great friend, and that's all that would ever matter to me. I may love Sylestia, but it's not just because of great design or plot or addicting festivals. Well, the festivals part is mostly because of the reason I really love Sylestia, but still. Sylestia is so great because of the community, even here is so awesome, and you guys have helped me so much, made me become the person I am today. But Night, you are one of the greatest friends I could ever ask for, and your silliness isn't out of context. You always, even without knowing it, make me smile with your amazing threads and cool Derry glompiness. XP I can't actually believe you are shy irl, but would it help me saying I'm a misfit basically irl? In any case, the point is you're a great friend and I don't care if you act out of line once or twice, etc. Its normal for humans, and anyway, you're amazing Night.

Aww <3 I love ya regardless. You are not the only person with Asperger's that I know, I have several friends with varying degrees of it and each one handles things differently. Good rule of thumb one of my more "severe asperger's" friend told me, you do you and what ever is normal for you, you should never feel like you have to apologize for something because you are different in some way.

I've never been annoyed or anything with you and unless you told me I would never have known you had AS.

You are amazing and keep doing what your doing :D

Night,

you are a wonderful person. Your silliness was never annoying to me, it was rather endearing. You're a great person to know and even if you may feel that you annoy us, I doubt you'll ever annoy me.

(Did I word that right? Idk)

Hugs! ^-^

Night,

You as well as many of my friends know that I'm both mentally and physically disabled. I've got a sizeable list of my own difficulties and daily challenges. Regardless of if you're perfectly healthy or not EVERYONE has something that challenges them everyday. It can be the loss of a loved one, it could be that they came up short of a goal that had great importance to them, it can be chronic pain, it could be frequent nightmares, it can pretty much be just about anything.

The challenges I face may be different from yours, but you are just as brave for talking about it openly and being willing to share this personal info with us.

Before I became aware that I was disabled(I was technically disabled sense age 3 or 4 due to at the time undiagnosed PTSD/Panic Disorder), I thought that being disabled was only visible, and that it wasn't something to talk about because it could be rude to talk about it/ask. A preschool friend of mine, her mother was in a wheelchair, she was a sweet lady and welcomed the chance to educate kids about her chair what it was for and she even explained to me how she could drive without the use of her legs. I later learned that being disabled ment many things that went beyond the physical where included. I have had loads of disabled friends over my life time with a wide range of disabilities, and each of them are special people that I love dearly.

We still have hurdles to over come in society, but with the support of our friends/family we will over come everything. Together we are strong. We are all unique and special in our own ways, we each have things that make us who we are. Never feel sorry to be you Honey!