i so should've done trig this year instead of algebra. it would've been so much easier. but then i'd have to do algebra next year anyway, so eh..

*rubs hands together* wow xD lots of questions. i'll do my best to answer them all.

all of the above, except memory erasing. there's also one time where Sai intervened on a fellow experiment's mission. her name is Jackal, and she, like Ketsueki, is a gunslinger. (ironically, i have so many charries i can't remember Jackal's age off the top of my head. i think she's 30 or 32.. something like that. no, wait.. looked it up, she's 38. i knew it was 30-something xD) anyway, the project sent her on a mission to exterminate a suspected mole inside a government facility and make it look like a suicide. well, Sai caught wind of it somehow and he showed up at the designated building, knocked Jackal unconscious and went on a killing spree, then left her there for police to find after putting her fingerprints on the weapons. the project sent one of their agents undercover as her attorney and pleaded a case of criminal insanity, which was easy to sell since they injected her with a serum beforehand that attacked her brain and made her behavior sane-less.

the rebel group is called the Rogue Shadows. their purpose is to expose and destroy the government's project and free their fellow experiments. Arashi really doesn't have anything to do with the project other than supplying them with a cover. and, yeah, kind of. the Rogue Shadows separate their members into their classes; assassins, hackers, stealth (that's really about it, since they don't have any droid or hybrid members, and spectres aren't introduced until later in the series). and then there's the sub-classes;;
assassins;; samurai, gunslingers, nightmares (explosives specialists), scorpions (poison specialists)
hackers;; circuit (can hack into computers, machines, etc.), nerve (can 'hack' into humans and animals by overriding the nervous system)
stealth;; spy, thief, shadow (combination of both, specializes in hand-to-hand combat)

close. while in the project, experiments are given a daily dose of specialized medication that numbs their emotions and basically brainwashes them into wanting to stay. now, escapees are those whose minds have overrode the medication's affects on the brain. they aren't fully recovered form their drugged state though when they first snap out of it. they're still in a dazed state, but it wears off overtime. the amnesia is a side-effect of the medication wearing off. it's more long term, but experiments do get some dream-like wisps of memory back over time. the amnesia varies between escapees because the medication affects their bodies differently. though, experiments who are donated to the project by their parents are often given a weaker dose, so that when the parents interact with their child, they don't seem zombie-like.

and no, he didn't. Sai collaborated with a fellow experiment of his named Niko. they triggered the First Tragedy and escaped together, but eventually were separated while on a renegade mission. also, they didn't start using tracers until after the First Tragedy, since prior to that the project officials didn't see a need for it. and Platinum doesn't wasn't given special access. i mean, she gets taken back into the areas other experiments go for alterations, but she doesn't mingle with them due to her status as a business model. she knows so much about how the experiments are treated and where they are/where they go because she's connected her droid mind to the project's database. security cameras, doors, alarms, etc, she can see and activate/deactivate. of course, she's careful as to how much she does, since she doesn't want to arouse suspicion.

well, it not only depends on how dangerous they are, but also what their social status is. if they're an orphan or runaway, they're more likely to be killed, but if they're a donation, they're more likely to be captured. if they see the individual as being an exposure threat, though, they prioritize kill over capture, regardless of social status. like Ketsueki, for example. she's very important to them (trying not to spoil it too much), but they prioritize kill over capture due to her genetics (very sharp brain, essentially, likely to remember key details of the project's whereabouts and other information that would jeopardize the project's future).

sounds cool. i applaud you on all that. i would not be able to pull off something so sophisticated xD and i note down relationships (past, present and future) just as a reminder as to what i already thought about and what i want to incorporate into my series in the future.

alrighty, next post i'll try to do the foreword to my manga so you guys can read it x3 i still don't have any illustrations, though, but my manga follows more of a graphic novel format than a comic.

Sure, if you PM me I guess I can explain them XD...lol
Thanks!
And yeah, PRIMEVAL and Roughnecks are lesser-known...although I guess there is a fanbase for it *cough cough me*

Gunmetal Phoenix

Book One - Catalyst

Foreword;;


Come on, keep running! You're almost there!

The voice echoed in her mind with such zeal, it evoked a twang of annoyance. Now isn't the time, Platinum.. As soon as the words entered her thoughts, rage and melancholy plagued her focus. I'm trying to help! I've never supported this place. I'm just glad you finally woke up. A stray tear dampened her cheek. You're one of them. You always have been and always will be. The cerebral conversation was cut short by the earsplitting wails of sirens, followed by the repercussion of gunfire. Bullets whizzed past the young woman's head without mercy, luckily each one missing its target. Dammit, why are they using real bullets?! They said they were going to switch to rubber! As important as you are to them.. Again the feminine voice, this time far less encouraging and instead filled with ire and anxiety. Please, be careful.. I don't want to see you die too. All our lives depend on your escape.

Her crimson hair whipped in the temperate wind as she ran, the half moon's light just barely illuminating the rugged mountain path before her. Though it was night, she could still feel the aftermath of the sun's unrelenting fury as her bare feet pounded against the scorched earth. The putrid stench of freshly stirred, parched dirt mixed with sweat swarmed her nostrils and worsened with every stride. And there were so many deafening sounds, she was almost certain of her hearing's impending death.

More bullets peppered the ground around her. Just yesterday she was enjoying the company of her loyal friends, her teammates, laughing and having the time of her life. Now she was being hunted for her beliefs, trapped in a race for survival. At that moment, a force sent her soaring downward off a small cliff. She tossed about like an abused rag doll, seemingly every pebble and boulder making an appearance just to bruise her that much further. After a brutal mock eternity, the aspiring escapee found herself lying on the burnt mountainside, fighting Temptation's conviction to surrender. Before she could regain her bearings, pain ravaged her body like a storm as a collision occurred between flesh and the rock-face. Wincing, her eyes focused in time for her to roll form the path of an armored fist. A split-second glance identified her attacker. They were clad in greytone, wolfish armor that shimmered green in the moonlight. Adorning the outfit were a raised ribcage and spine, clawed gloves, a furred cowl, and in various places, painted-on fur. The assailant's conforming suit was topped by a helm of equal animal qualities; a lengthened canine snout decorated with uniformed teeth and whiskers protruded from the face, above which were two pupil-less, evergreen eyes and a pair of painted-on wolf ears.

Ignoring pain's ruthless gnaw, she gets to her feet and prepares herself for another battle. A kick is rounded toward her face, she blocks and counters with a fingered jab to the trachea, answered by a right hook of retaliation. It lands, but a gut kick is quickly returned, trailed by a flying knee to the snout, sending the wolf man tumbling into awaiting boulders. The woman pounces on opportunity, seizing a handgun holstered on her adversary's belt. Without hesitation, a repeated squeeze of the trigger lodges three rounds into their new cranial home.

Yet another mad dash commenced for her life. More gunfire erupted, metal petals dancing in the sky around her as she inched towards freedom. She faltered and rolled on her shoulder upon impact, searing pain radiating through her left ankle when a bullet's smooth teeth finally grazed her flesh. Her adrenaline-ravaged heart pounded in sync with the heavy footsteps of her pursuers as they grew closer. Then her olfactory sense informed her of hope- the refreshing terrestrial aroma of water's gait raking the sandy grime on which it ran. She had made it to the river, to liberty. A final burst of energy and she dove from the overlooking cliff, bracing herself for the rapid's welcome. Preceding her entrance, though, was a final goodbye present- a single shot through her right lung.

*collapses from exhaustion, brain throbbing*

@AtomicBomb354,
Why would you try to clear them X)

The rad ones give you an achievement at least for trying to stick near them X)

That would have been interesting

_{Just gonna watch this}




I will check out the second chapter sometimes within this week or the next hopefully(panicking I have a few days left to study for a driving test and trying to study more rn)
Do different dimensions count as alternate timelines or something?

I really like the feeling of being punched in the gut for having a character you like forgotten like that- but suggestion(can be ignored), tear the reader's soul apart by having them grow attached to a character who is especially hurt by their death and they being in that universe have to deal with the fact alone and knowledge that they once existed?

Cool :)

EDIT:
you mentioned having a vampire character right?


@Magyak101,
If you ever feel like it(don't feel forced) send me a PM :)
Atm I have a bit less time to be lazy and look at things since I'm trying to memorize a bunch of information for a driving test in a few days- but when I have the time I'll try to check it out ^^

Tfw you're in a small fandom X)
I feel that though in a deep level

@Dial,
The imagery was amazing :o
Besides some grammatical errors this was great ^^

You're very good at writing fast paced fighting
Is this what you're working on rn?

@Dial

It better to get the awful stuff out of the way though, right? Trig is easy, you just have to know how to label a triangle properly lol (which is something I used to struggle with - I could never get the Opposite and Adjacent right because no-one explained it to me ha ha).

I do tend to try and pick as many holes in anything as possible to see how well-developed something is lol, so if you do need me to tone down on the number of them, I can do that. But I suppose since you're answering them all, it shows that you know what you're talking about, right?

Oh, ok. Does the government send the experiments as a sort of trial run, to test their ability to kill? And as such, the rebel group wishes to sabotage it, to draw attention to it - and then, obviously, as they would probably plead the insanity case quite often, it would make people suspicious? That's a solid plan, I'd say.

So how much does Arashi actually know? Does the government hide things from him as well, and does Arashi have any doubts about what he's doing? For example, they don't tell him the true extent of the experiments, so that he keeps a somewhat clearer conscious?

The nerve hackers sound interesting - how do they work? Do they interrupt signals in the nerves by sending their own electrical currents, and, if so, how do they do that without having previously placed a device inside that person? (I'm assuming that you're talking about normal humans). Do they use magnetic fields to confuse animals that use those sorts of things as navigation, e.g pigeons? I know this is a little bit of a picky question, I'm just interested to know what your explanation is lol.

Alright, makes sense. This might seem like a somewhat random question, but are there different types of drugs for different ages, body types etc (assuming that they would have a set strength)? And also, who supplies these drugs, and do they have a motivation to want to supply drugs to the project, e.g they get an experiment or two of their own to use, or they get a lot more money than they usually would from ordinary projects?

Oh, geez, sorry, I forgot about the tracers being used after then ha ha. So how did Platinum hook her mind up to the systems - does she just have an exceptional ability for working with electronics, or was she aided by someone, human (who may be inside the project to bring it down) or otherwise? Or is her mind already connected, but she just had to mess with a few things to get access?

Ok. Would you mind telling me a bit about Ketsueki, or would you rather not spoil it? Nice name choice by the way - is there a reason that you chose 'blood'? I only happen to know this because I have a character whose name is Kyu Ketsuki... shove those names together, and you get the word 'vampire' lol.

Whoops, didn't mention that 100 years of that is literally just an unplanned aftermath of a nuclear apocalypse, brought upon the world by a crazy vampire dictator who has literally no idea how to run a country or go to war XD Oh ok, so you base the events around where you want the characters to be, rather than just have events and the characters form around that?

I just found a piece of buried world-building, this is... what even, brain, explain this? To quote:

Crossed it out to make it hard to read, it's really disgusting so I wanted to give you the option to copy-paste it elsewhere to read it rather than have your brain immediately assaulted by it lol.

_{"B-74 is an infection of the eye caused by the wasp squirting poison from either their stinger or mouth into the eye. Within hours, the infected individual will complain of their eye(s) aching and fading vision. After a whole day, a strange black crust will appear on the eye(s). The individual cannot see when there is a crust present on their eye(s). This stage can be treated by pouring vinegar onto the crust, which, although agonising for the patient, clears it up within minutes. If not treated, the eyes will rot away, leaving only the crust over where the eye once was."}

Ewww.

I really like that! It's great, I really love the description, and the sudden twist at the end :) I think maybe breaking up the paragraphs a little might help the pacing a little more, for example, the first paragraph could be:

"The voice echoed in her mind with such zeal, it evoked a twang of annoyance.

Now isn't the time, Platinum.. As soon as the words entered her thoughts, rage and melancholy plagued her focus.

I'm trying to help! I've never supported this place. I'm just glad you finally woke up. A stray tear dampened her cheek.

You're one of them. You always have been and always will be.

The cerebral conversation was cut short by the earsplitting wails of sirens, followed by the repercussion of gunfire. Bullets whizzed past the young woman's head without mercy, luckily each one missing its target.

Dammit, why are they using real bullets?! They said they were going to switch to rubber! As important as you are to them.. Again the feminine voice, this time far less encouraging and instead filled with ire and anxiety. Please, be careful.. I don't want to see you die too. All our lives depend on your escape. "

Just a suggestion, I think it works fine the other way.

Something I did notice in the first paragraph would be maybe a slight edit of a sentence that I've highlighted in red. I don't think the reader needs to be told that the fact that the bullets missed her was lucky, and I think it could be inferred that she wasn't hit because she doesn't have a sudden pained reaction. But I feel that that sentence still needs that little bit extra at the end, maybe "Bullets whizzed past the young woman's head, pummelling the ground at her feet." (Took out a bit of description there too - as a suggestion, I would generally include less description/ information in more chaotic scenes, as being a little more vague can often create a more chaotic imagery.)

But yeah, overall, it's definitely well-written and engaging, good job! :)

--

@99echosong99

Because it's lagging my computer will all its beautiful effects XD

Yeah, I've already got it lol, I'm no completionist, but it's an easy one to get.

It's one of those moments in a show where I'm like "Why would you not do that, that was so much better?"

XD Have fun!







Ok, thanks! :)

Good luck with that! Hope you pass! :D _{*cries* Aghhhh I have to wait another year before I can do mine, and it'll only be my provisional as well so I won't be able to drive on motorways *rolls around on the floor in annoyance* So many times I have been like 'I wish I could drive, because I could totally do that', and I can already drive which really bugs me.} Right, rant over.

Hmm, good question. I'd imagine that they're not really dimensions, and I'm referring to them incorrectly - the aliens are intelligent despite their appearance, and have probably worked out how to utilise wormholes (and shrinking technology because blah blah negative matter required to keep open a wormhole big enough to let them through normally would require a very large amount of positive matter being created, creating literal moons just to open it in the first place blah blah quantum mechanics). Pfft, I really need to think about how this is going to work scientifically speaking, tears in dimensional fabrics aren't... well, they could be, since it is just another universe, and I think that was the original explanation?

Alright, scrap that, I'll try this again. The aliens come from quite some way away in the universe, not close to the Earth at all, but in the same universe. A scientist on Earth sought to work out how to find a way to travel quickly to other parts of the universe, probably using quantum entanglement (had to look this up - I don't think we've worked out a way to actually teleport objects, just photons at this point, but it's the future, so whatever, I can ignore that), combined with something else. At the same time, the aliens are trying the same thing, but cannot get past a certain limitation (I think it was a physical barrier of some sort - how it came into existence, I'm not sure I thought about, I think something that lived on the Earth prior to humans placed it there?). In the process of this scientist experimenting, they accidentally break the barrier thing, meaning that the aliens, who have practically perfected the technology, are able to get in.

This is going to be a mess to properly explain lol, I can't even science at this point, I'm going to have to cut many corners with the idea that "It's the future!"

Definitely :) I was going to suggest the character that you first meet in Chapter 2, but he's just an ordinary human. I'd imagine that somewhere along the line, the main character will meet someone. In fact, it would be crushing if, when he 'disappears', that same person observes things that are different now that he has vanished, e.g character relationships being different, perhaps some people even being alive.

Oh, vampires in my universe don't work like that at all. They're basically just humans, plus bloodlust, ability to control if a person that they bite becomes a vampire or not, retractable fangs (some exceptions to this one), some powers (not for all though), and immortality (again, not for all); minus the weakness to sunlight, garlic etc, the not being able to see in the mirror thing, and the whole 'undead' part.

But interesting fact otherwise! :)

--

@Magyak101

Alright! I'll do that in a bit :)

I was really sad when they stopped making Primeval, I really want to re-watch it all for the sake of re-living the one part of my childhood that hasn't been ruined XD

exactly why i wanted to do trig xD but also exactly why i want to do algebra instead.

yep. starting at the age of fifteen, they send experiments out to test their level of growth in real-world situations. at first, they're supervised, but once they reach the age of i believe 20 or 21 (again, i have to check my guide. i thought of and wrote down so much..) they get to do solo missions, and some experiments are gathered into groups that carry out covert missions and such.

Arashi is kept in the dark regarding pretty much everything. the government simply tells him that what they're doing is helping the human race for generations to come, and that once their goal is reached, he'll be seen by the public and government alike as a hero for his technological help in their quest. he does know, however, that the mysterious deaths and disappearances of high-profile people, such as investors and parents with ties to the project, are the work of their hand. he believes in their judgement, though, and views all their choices as being good-willed and justifiable.

well, both circuit and nerve hackers use what's called neuron bracers- pieces of equipment attached to their bodies that are hardwired to their minds. nerve hackers use the bracer to hack into the minds and nervous systems of other creatures. they do this by first injecting a drop of specialized neurotoxin into the target with the needle-like instruments on the hacker's thumb and middle finger. they then control the target using the tablet function of the bracer's main portal. with practice, nerve hackers are also able to read the memories of their target. both hackers can use the main bracer portal as a holographic shield and/or blade in combat situations.

no, they use the same drug for everyone, regardless of age or body type, etc. they just use a different dose based on the person. also, they make all drugs in-house thanks to their league of scientists and geneticists, though they get some supplies from Arashi's company.

Platinum's mind was already connected, due to her position as a secretary/business model. she just had to do a little bit of hacking to get full access.

ah, i want to keep the majority a surprise x3 but in general, Ketsueki was donated to the project at the age of two, after her mother's (who is a geneticist for the project) boss, a lead geneticist, saw potential in her DNA. she made remarkable progress, and she quickly became a great asset to the government, basically becoming a primary vessel in the project's beating heart. so, i think you can get why they made such a big deal of her escape (and why they try so hard in the series to bring her back, dead or alive). as far as any further info about her, i'll give a hint;; the series title, Gunmetal Phoenix, describes her perfectly (both literally and figuratively). also, i named her Ketsueki due to her hair being blood red :3

sounds awesome xD and, i usually think of what interactions i want my charries to have with each and the effect i want them to have on the plot, and i just build on that. for my book i've been doing a brief rough draft of like the first two paragraphs in a chapter and then start writing it in my first draft, winging the rest of the paragraphs after i get a clear picture in my head of what i want to happen.

that crossed out part actually sound pretty interesting instead of gross to me. eh, i'm like that i guess xD i like to think about episodes of the anime adaption of my series to get idea for book chapters as well as further plot formation, and in one episode i have one charrie experimenting with different chemicals and it gives them oozing, ****** warts and stuff. ah, my twisted humor... but that i thought of a while back ago, so it's not really accurate with the current charries since none of them experiment with chemicals/poisons (at least not in the main rebel group)

thank you x3 it sounds epic the way you structured it. this is only my first draft like i said, so more than likely i'm going to be doing a lot of editing in the future. my perfectionist ways will be the death of me.. i make so much more work for myself. always drawing and redrawing, writing and rewriting.. and yeah, i can see that. i'm always obsessing over what i mention and what i don't, because i want to paint a vivid picture without leaving out so much that it's too vague, or including so much that it's completely extraneous.

WHOA IM NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD
lol :P

Yeah right?? Although, by season four it was really crashing. By season five, ....

@AtomicBomb354,
Oh dear X)

I got 3 episodes in and it became to painful XD



_{Good luck once you get around to being able to take the test :)}

Good luck with your science X)

Wew :D

_{Sorry for the very short responses I'm trying to answer quickly so I can get back to studying as I'm still getting a lot of answers wrong in the practice tests and am growing ever concerned ^^;
Haven't gotten to reading the chapter yet}

@ToyaKazaki,
Jesus christ the pun

Is it possible to do that? I'll try after this I guess
Okay figured it out thanks for instructions


It's fine, I understand ^^;

_{Sorry for short responses I'm trying to answer quickly rn, responses will probably get longer again in around a week(?)}