I'm back for the weekend now - I'll be vanishing again next week, but after that everything should be fine and I should be able to respond regularly again :)

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@Dial

3D trig is a pain though XD Especially when all of the diagrams in our exams are always terribly drawn so it's impossible to visualise.

Would there be exceptions to those who are sent out, for example those who are somewhat disobedient or do not have the correct mindset? And what are the examples of the tests in real-world scenarios, and is it possible for them to be destroyed/ injured in the process of these tests?

Alright, so Arashi is doing this entirely for his own fame? Or does he want a share in the money that they will generate? Or is there something else that he wants from this - maybe he has a relative who is affected by some sort of irreversible disease?

If you don't mind me making a suggestion, I personally think that nanobots would be better terminology for what you're describing, since neurotoxins tend to be chemicals, and as such would not respond to certain signals. Whereas nanobots would be able to collect data, send their own electrical signals to stimulate nerves, use chemicals to block signals etc. Or is that something they're working on, and the chemicals they use simply block everything, and the neuron bracers send electrical pulses to the nerves of the target to essentially control what the brain would usually do? The only problem with that is that it would require the wearer of the neuron bracer to control the nerves that would keep the vital organs going (unless that was a default thing that the neuron bracer does anyway)... sounds like an interesting weapon though, they could make the heart rate too fast, restrict the windpipe and suffocate them etc. Are there any drawbacks to using it, for example, it affects the user in some way?

The portal thing sounds cool though, do the hackers wear one on each arm so that they can use sword and shield, or is it impossible to control that way considering the main uses of the bracers?

So what about those who are allergic to the drug, if everyone gets the same one? Do they have to modify the person themselves in that case,or do they just make an alternate version? No offence if you've done this, but I don't think it's realistic (even if it is a fictional universe which doesn't really need to abide by real-life rules) if everybody happens to be fine with it (of course, it could be extremely rare it be allergic to it, but there's no way that they could just happen to create something that literally nobody is).

Oh, ok. Makes sense.

Fair enough lol. You're the opposite to me, I just love giving everything away ha ha. Did her mother willingly give her away? And also, does she have a father, or was he not a part of her life/ isn't important at all? Plot twist: Arashi is her father. *takes off shades* My God... And are there any others like her, or is she the only all-powerful super-weapon etc etc? Like, maybe one who can counter her abilities and is entirely loyal to the project? Or do they have something as an almost-definitive kill-switch for her?

That's an awesome title! :D

Ah, it's a lot darker than that beforehand... let's just say creating an army by essentially breeding humans then using chemicals to accelerate their growth is one of the pre-requisites to that event. And I have to wait ages to get to that point because I have so much to write agghhh.

Sounds good! :) I personally plan very minimally, the plan gets more and more fleshed out with each write and re-write, do you do the same with your later chapters?

There's even more:

Keeping it crossed out for any unfortunate souls who stumble on this thread and see it ha ha.

_{B-75 is caused by breathing in/ swallowing the poison. During the first few days, nothing will happen. But after that, the patient will develop a sore throat, and, if looked at, there will be a green goo present all the way down their throat (and in some cases, in their lungs and mouth), stretching from one side to another. The victim will be unable to swallow or breathe properly. Only a few hours after these symptoms appear, the patient will be unable to move, apart from their eyes. Green froth will be produced by the saliva glands, which is caused by a parasite in the wasp. Green froth may also be produced by the tear glands, even in cases where the patient also has B-74. The patient will remain in this state for a few days, and then they will start becoming like animals. They are best restrained at this point. They will start screaming and trying to bite anyone who comes near in an attempt to infect them as well. This stage will last 5-10 weeks, depending on factors such as muscle-mass, weight and height. After that, the patient has a 90% chance of dying, as their insides will begin to melt into paste if they are not part of the lucky 10%. Those who are fortunate not to have their insides waste away will recover in a few weeks, but it has been observed that they have a high chance of developing a fear of being touched by others and also a fear of whatever place they were infected. As well as that, they can be more animal-like in behaviour.}

To be fair, the second one is basically just rabies, not as fun as the previous one.

I should really work these diseases into something, it would be interesting to see someone who has caught one, just to really mess the main character's mentality up even further XD

You should try and get a scene like that in somewhere, if it makes sense. Maybe have the cause being different, like a certain poisonous plant or toxic gas?

No problem! :)

I feel you, I have the same problem. 4 40 page drafts in, and I'm still dissatisfied with the way it's going. Which reminds me, I have to go through and edit it all... Perfectionism is a killer XD

Same. It's like you want to make something very clear to the reader, but, at the same time, you don't want to hand-hold. I suppose if you really want to describe something during action, you filter in the description, e.g mention the character's hair colour, four paragraphs later mention something else? I think it's ok to tell a reader something occasionally, as long as you show them more regularly what is happening.

I don't know if I asked before, but do you have any drawings or concept sketches of anything in the story? I'd be interested in seeing them :)

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@99echosong99

One day XD

At least it's not as painful as watching 13 reasons why... dear lord, I hate that show, why am I forcing myself to finish it?

*stares at recommended list from friend* Actually, I think I'm going to hate Love Island more. Save my soul. My friend was watching a bunch of terrible content on Netflix, he decided to send me the list, and it... I am not going to survive this. I think Jesus Camp is going to end the existence of every brain cell I have, and Love Island is going to leave me an emotionless shell.







Thanks! The ones that I usually use for practice are ridiculously difficult, so I should be fine lol.

*is buried in paper, mad scrawlings all over the room* Hawking radiation... radioactive decay... negative matter... *keels over and dies*

That's fine, you should really prioritise your test over (basically) everything else :) Have a motivational meme!

for those sent out on missions, they are closely monitored and if they show any signs, no matter how minor, of a 'glitch' in their behavior or mindset, they are escorted back to whatever facility they came from (since there's more than one) and re-evaluated/'patched'. if they try to escape, any force necessary to capture them is used. and missions can involve anything from assassinations to theft/information gathering. it depends on the class of the experiments.

well, i think him having a relative involved would make it more interesting, but with his background, it wouldn't be necessary, unless, like you suggested, his technology had no affect on their disease. but mostly, it's just for his better of his own finances and popularity.

yeah, i can see how nanobots would be better, but i was thinking of something that can be regenerated in the hacker's body by mixing the cerebral spinal fluid normally absorbed by the body at the end of its circulatory life cycle anyway with a very minute amount of biochemical gas secreted by a piece of metal in the base of the skull. the device, which i've labeled a neurotoxin transfusor (or maybe it was transmitter.. again, need to refer back to my notes) has a specialized core that, when submitted to the electrical pulses of the brain, secretes a biochemical gas that is then mixed with the collected cerebral spinal fluid to create the neurotoxin. of course, this device has a certain level of artificial intelligence, as it only turns on when the amount of neurotoxin available dips below a certain level. nanobots would probably be make more sense, but they would begin to dwindle after a certain amount of injections, unless they reenter the hacker's body after the hacking is complete, but then that would risk infection for both the hacker (unless the nanobots remain in a sterile area separated from the rest of the body) and the potential target. and yeah, the neurotoxin basically helps the hacker tap into/take over their target's nervous system by intercepting and redirecting electrical pulses. and one of the only real side-effects on the hacker is fatigue and migraines if they try to push their personal limits too far/too frequently.

most hackers only have one neuron bracer, though there are others like Lithium that have two. and for those that have one, they switch back and forth between sword and shield in combat, or just use the sword as the shield or shield as 'sword' (for bashing rather than gnashing)

actually, i never really thought about an allergic reaction. i did think about those whose bodies reject the genetic alterations, though. that's where the Hybrids come in. (due to my roleplaying days, i've taken a liking to neko and other humanoid animal beings, so i wanted to find a way to put them into my series, just because) but basically, that's what Hybrids are. their genetics have rejected alteration and therefore they basically began developing animal features, such as fur, scales, claws, paws, tails, feathers, etc, etc.. and their mentality is also commonly affected as well. their civilized manners deteriorate and are replaced by more primitive behavior. at first, they were perceived as failures, but now scientists are seeing them as sort of a success, due to the superhuman abilities they gained during the transformation. i guess an allergic reaction to the medication would be more realistic, like vomiting, headaches, and in rare cases, brain damage.

yeah, her mother willingly donated her, because she was excited (but nervous) about the potential of her daughter. and her father is actually a decorated sniper in the military, which is why they primarily trained her as a gunslinger. nah, Arashi is way too young to be her dad (if anything, he'd be her brother) plot twist;; Ketsueki has a younger brother, who was also donated and in fact became the first Spectre ever.. there's Agent Frost, who's here arch-rival, but she's not really that powerful. i mean, she's one of the best gunslingers in the project, but that's all she is. there's another female, a Droid, named Khloie, who, alongside her twin sister and younger sister (they make up a group called the Fates), strive to kill all rebels. Khloie is one of the most well developed weapons within the project, but is she better than her predecessor, Ketsueki? only time will tell...

thanks, and yeah, i also plan minimally. i was actually re-writing the first two chapters and foreword to send to my cousin for his opinion, since he likes to read manga, but i think i'm just going to keep his copy and send him another one. my first draft just gets my point across, then when i rewrite it, i add in descriptive language and more complex words and structure.

that crossed-out part sounds like it would be an awesome addition to a character o3o i can almost smell the drama..

i could try to incorporate my past idea, but i honestly don't know where i'd put it or how it would go.

yeah, i do, but they're not digital and i don't have any way of taking a picture of them and downloading them onto my laptop. they're all basically character renderings (both head and full body), though, not scenes.

i write poetry and fantasy fanfic, but my originals are usually tragedy or horror

@Dial

Sorry that I'm not responding, my brain keeps refusing to let me sit down and write for more than a few minutes lol. I'll probably write my response on the weekend :)

I have a very "special" writing style *hehehe* ^^"
When i write poems then in the "freestyle" way - by using horror, halloween and/or emotional themes [often by using a mixture of that all]. 1st person, 3rd person...it often varies and depends on what fits the writing the best. And i also write short-stories or fanrelated stuff [but that's quite rare].

I'm not good at writing lowey-dowey stuff or happy endings. (And i don't want to... :P)

But i didn't write anything at the last months, orz. <.<

@Dial

Shh I totally didn't entirely forget about this because my brain wants me to binge-watch Dr Who... 0-0 ... Sorry '^^

Ah, ok, so there is plenty of testing beforehand that would prevent someone from going rogue, and the experimentation basically guarantees that they will be susceptible to drugs/ other forms of suggestion that they use? And the testing process is sort of a quality check, and they will continue to do them until they get the results they want?

In my opinion, I think having something like that would make his character more... real, I suppose? Since his motivations are purely selfish, and so far, it doesn't really seem like he has any redeeming qualities - and if there's one thing a good villain needs, it's information about them that means the reader can feel even the slightest of sympathy. Not even the worst of the worst can really be fully evil - no-one ever is. Though ultimately, it's your choice, maybe I'm missing something that you have included like that?

Ah, ok. Maybe to get around the not being able to regenerate the nanobots thing, perhaps part of the device is like a small robot in itself, and is able to build more? Also, do the chemicals just wear off after a while, or do they only finish working once the host is dead?

So what would happen with those who have an allergic reaction, since they can't exactly just keep injecting the stuff and making them ill? Would they just die, or would they also become Hybrids? And do the scientists know why some become hybrids and others don't, or are they simply working towards it?

Ah, there goes my master theory of all plot twists ;-; So, does Agent Frost dislike Ketsueki out of jealousy, or is there something else going on with that? *dramatic music plays when question is asked*

Makes sense :)

Wait, wait, I just realised! I totally have an old character that I could apply that to, he used to cover his eyes with a bandage, maybe he caught both types of the disease because he's just... really unlucky. Scrap that stupid blood feud backstory, that should be his new thing now 0-0 Thanks for the idea!

Maybe it would work as a second story arc or something? Maybe after the main stuff is done, the corporation comes back after a few years, and they start to specialise in non-human chemical weapons or something?

Ah, ok. Oh well.

Sorry if this response is a bit meh, I've eaten too many Maoams and I feel ridiculously tired because too much sugar does that to me for some reason XD

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@Damaskrose

Hi, welcome to the thread! :D

So what kinds of things are you working on at the moment in terms of original stuff? The tragedy and horror sounds really interesting!

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@Blackbirb

Hello! :)

Ooh, that sounds like an interesting style of poetry! :D Do you have any examples of what you've written?

And for the stories, which genres do you generally write?

Same lol, I'm not a romance person. I am trying to write it though at the moment purely for practice, luckily it hasn't got to the romantic bits yet, which is good, because the dialogue is going to be so cringey DX

Again, same, I haven't written much recently '^^ I need to get back into doing it, the task of editing what I've written so far is rather daunting at the moment.

that's alright x3 like i said, i've been busy with school preparation, but procrastination keeps calling my name..

yeah, i guess you can call it a quality check. they do it to see if the training and genetic alterations are working correctly. but as far as the pursuit of their goal of perfection, the project has these 'models' that they follow. they're essentially individuals that have been experimented on that have performed exceptionally in all or the majority of criteria when exposed to testing. Ketsueki is one of them (their 'phoenix model'), Saikuron is another ('cyclone model') and Khloie is also one ('dragon model'). basically, the models change whenever a new experiment outshines the old model.

hmm... i'm going to have to think about that. i do see your point as far as giving him a relate-able quality. i'm sure i'll be able to think of and incorporate something eventually. maybe.. he has an ill child of his own?! *dramatic music* and he feels like a failure because he's one of the greatest minds of technology, and he can't heal them himself? and so he turns to the project for help..

eh, i think a robot inside of their arm making more tiny robots is a little too complicated, tbh. because then i'd have to figure where the robot is getting the materials to make the minions, unless the hacker is required to periodically insert tiny scrap pieces of metal (or whatever material is being used) into their bracer to 'refuel' the robot..? and the chemicals used on targets wears off after about half an hour or so. before it wears off, they'll just be in this dazed state.

depends on the person, just like with real-life medication. some people die after an allergic reaction, others turn into hybrids. the scientists know this is due to certain genes within the experiments' DNA, but exactly what genes they're still unsure of.

well, kind of. agent Frost was rescued from a life on the streets by a project official when she was 15. she was already part of a dangerous gang, involved with illegal drugs and lots of other not-so-great stuff. which, she's still involved with, to a degree. she basically sold her soul to the project, since they promised her that the only way she would die is if she were murdered, and that wouldn't happen if she obeyed their rules. they also told her that she would be able to continue living almost exactly the same lifestyle, except with more luxury and less danger, since she would be living with them instead of on the streets. but the project is essentially using Frost as a drug guinea pig, monitoring how much she uses, how much and what she smokes, and what the effects of all of it are on her genetically enhanced body.
as far as how she feels towards Ketsueki, she was relatively neutral at first, just viewing her as another runaway to hunt and kill. but the more she learns about Ketsueki, the more she begins to hate her, like a jealous little girl watching everyone gawk over her cute newborn sibling. Frost starts to view Ketsueki as this prissy princess that ran away from her castle just because she found out her maids were lying to her, the mere thought of the phoenix filling her with disgust and discontent. but, later their relationship evolves into both wanting to grant their adversary a slow, agonizing death due to the reaping of their loved ones (Ketsueki loses a young rebel girl she'd grown close to due to Frost [kind of like when Rue died in Katniss' arms] and Frost loses her angelic [compared to her] boyfriend at the hand of a vengeful Ketsueki)

heh, you're welcome x3 i'm sure you would've thought of it without my help, though.

eh, i'll figure something out. the second story thing won't really work since, though they do come back, they resume their old ways, instead of pursuing a new avenue like chemical warfare.

i hope this all makes sense x3 my brain refused to cooperate when i was typing this, plus my fingers have decided to begin producing typos and other horrid grammar instead of real, sensible words.