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Vaingel
Level 72
The Sweet Tooth
Joined: 5/17/2018
Threads: 38
Posts: 1,514
Posted: 9/1/2020 at 4:34 PM
Post #291
Oh boy, time to put my Animation Sins skills to the test *trips on way out of forums to help with grammar*
I won't be offended if you ignore my input, by the way X3 I like to nitpick a little. It's nothing against you or your writing, you're actually really good, I'm just used to criticizing things with a fine-tooth comb when I get bored :T Keeps my mind sharp, but not wrinkly XD
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 9/1/2020 at 6:57 PM
Post #292
Thanks! I will definitely look into making those edits when I am back on my computer (Fixed a few but it takes much longer on phone so)
Edited By Ne0nNy on 9/1/2020 at 7:05 PM.
Larkian
Level 75
The Tactician
Joined: 5/15/2018
Threads: 104
Posts: 17,002
Posted: 9/1/2020 at 6:57 PM
Post #293
Self-ping to check out after class ^^
Edited By Larkian on 9/1/2020 at 6:57 PM.
Larkian
Level 75
The Tactician
Joined: 5/15/2018
Threads: 104
Posts: 17,002
Posted: 9/1/2020 at 11:02 PM
Post #294
You've got three people editing it, and we're all mostly focusing on different things xD
Sorry if I sound a little rude/too straightforward, I don't mean to but I know I sound like that when I'm criticizing ^^
Edited By Larkian on 9/1/2020 at 11:02 PM.
Larkian
Level 75
The Tactician
Joined: 5/15/2018
Threads: 104
Posts: 17,002
Posted: 9/2/2020 at 5:13 PM
Post #295
You know those books that focus on one main character's point of view mostly but every now and then switch to someone else's? I think those switches are neat by themselves, but what seems even better is if it switches to the point of view of someone who has never met a character before so you can see how other people besides the main character see that person. It just seems refreshing to like see how total strangers see the same person you've only seen through one person's eyes, or how they act towards strangers. I've seen it done once or twice but idk it was just so satisfying.
I dunno, I was thinking of random things and this one scene popped into my head of switching to, say, a generic prison guard (that you'll never see again)'s point of view right before my character kicks their butt, because everyone knows that character has kicked butts but no one knows what it's like to actively get their butt kicked by that character.
(Just a random thought I had and wanted to shove somewhere xD)
Aaand that's my daily weird TED talk that no one cares about.
Edited By Larkian on 9/2/2020 at 5:21 PM.
Vaingel
Level 72
The Sweet Tooth
Joined: 5/17/2018
Threads: 38
Posts: 1,514
Posted: 9/16/2020 at 11:52 AM
Post #296
YOU GUYS
I finally broke out of my block!
I mean, it's still terrible (as all first drafts are)
But I'm making progress!
I'm moving forward!
I just had to delete half of a chapter and I was like
"...oh"
And I was able to actually w r i t e
Here's my blooming bumbling mess for anyone that wants to read
Orcastration
Level 74
Fishy
Joined: 11/1/2018
Threads: 318
Posts: 33,448
Posted: 9/16/2020 at 11:58 AM
Post #297
coolio
Hiraeth
Level 75
Hand of Destiny
Joined: 7/14/2015
Threads: 187
Posts: 2,685
Posted: 9/22/2020 at 9:36 PM
Post #298
I wrote a wonderful exchange earlier this month.
---
Xerxes startles awake, green eyes wild. "What are you doing here?" he demands.
"No time to explain. Do you want to die?"
Xerxes seems caught off guard by the question. "What?"
---
What's your favorite line of dialogue (or just line in general) that you've written and why? Personally I like mine because it shows how Xerxes & Light's relationship is changing more from enemies to allies - in a slightly humorous way. :)
---
What I'm bothering Lark about today: Alphadawg is Wastedpoodle and you spelled Miroh as Miroj xD
Edited By Hiraeth on 9/22/2020 at 9:36 PM.
Orcastration
Level 74
Fishy
Joined: 11/1/2018
Threads: 318
Posts: 33,448
Posted: 9/22/2020 at 9:40 PM
Post #299
Nicote was nodding in agreement. The growth has quickened. I suspect that one of my fathers friends has turned traitor as well. The Darkness always speeds up when a Legend turns. Li, have you learnt the Spell of Scilius by heart yet?
The boy, Li, nodded.
Great. Do not forget to destroy any written mark of the spell Aria We cannot let my father know what we did..
Already done. Paper tastes very bland.
What do you mean by that?
Um Li blinked. Its digesting?
You.ate it? Nicote sounded incredulous.
You told me about that ancient race that would eat paper with knowledge to remember them better. I did likewise. Li said quite seriously. I also drank a lot more water then I should have. The cook wasnt very pleased and sent me to go pump more.
--------------------------------------
bwahaha great dialougues XD
Edited By Orcastration on 9/22/2020 at 9:40 PM.
Hiraeth
Level 75
Hand of Destiny
Joined: 7/14/2015
Threads: 187
Posts: 2,685
Posted: 9/22/2020 at 9:56 PM
Post #300
I love it xD
I remember reading somewhere that people actually did that??? Eating paper with plans/notes on it to get rid of evidence. Smart, but also a good way to make yourself sick lol
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