A brief feeling of panic set in as Tox did his best to restore the distance between he and Brain without making it too obvious that he as doing it. He wished he could understand what made it so easy to relax around this odd redhead. Not that he had ever had a chance to have a "type" when it came to women, he assumed Brain was not it, and yet he always seem to lose his rough exterior around her, and it was becoming baffling, and more than a little unnerving.
"Yeah, I guess they do," he said, trying not to look flustered as he watched the badger amble about in a circle, "I'm sure you know all about that sort of thing."
It took several moments for Tox to realize what she had said previously, he still seemed to be caught up trying to figure his feelings out. He turned his head and looked at her, a confused frown now on his face. Was she serious? She looked serious, though somehow pained when she said it. He could only imagine what could have happened to her to feel that way.
"Why would you say that?" he finally asked her seriously, "You don't honestly believe that do you?"
Before he could expect and answer, Tox felt a slight pressure around his arm and heard a soft hiss from Fang. Carefully, he flitted his eyes up and back down just in time to catch the tiniest movement in the foliage to Brain's right. He had barely had time to catch a silhouette but he knew it had to be Crypt using her camouflage. Again a feeling of panic came over him as he realized she might have heard something to suggest that his relationship with Brain was a charade. His eyes widened slightly and he looked at Brain with an expression that he hoped looked apologetic as he did the only thing he could think to do...
He cupped her face suddenly in his hands and kissed her.
Creativity
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Posted: 8/14/2018 at 11:37 PM
Post #72
Brain wasn't sure what to think. What to do. All she knew was that suddenly, their tender conversation had turned into Tox's lips on her own. Just like that, he had crossed some invisible line, had broken something within her, and she wanted the world to swallow her up.
She had flinched initially at the sudden movement, though now her ears burned as she turned rigid, not responding to the kiss or pulling away. But she heard her uncle, telling her of appearances, and she clumsily kissed back after snapping herself back to reality. She wasn't sure how she had imagined her first kiss, but it certainly wasn't like this.
And as to why Tox had done it... She didn't know. But she trusted him. She wanted to trust him. So that trust is what she clung onto rather than the instantaneous, burning ache that gripped her chest as soon as his hands were on her face.
The kiss was innocent, but it was interrupted still by a snarling sound from behind her. Brain jumped back, quite involuntarily. She whipped her head around in time to see Crypt remove her camouflage. "Foolish man!" was all she shouted before stalking off away from them.
Forcing herself to breathe, Brain looked back at Tox and was overwhelmed with a surprising amount of anger. Out of instinct, her hand raised to slap him across the face, but she regained control of herself and stopped it just moments before it connected with his skin. She stared at her hand for a moment, lips tight, then looked back at him.
She swallowed and tilted her head back a bit, raising her chin in a dignified manner. Then, without saying a word, she stood and walked briskly off towards the dorm with Thor romping behind her, having a last-minute remembrance to use the backways as to avoid Crypt. She realized she left her notebook, but didn't particularly care. All she wanted was to get as far away from Tox as possible at that moment so that she could sort herself out alone.
Edited By Creativity on 8/15/2018 at 10:21 AM.
Britters
Level 72
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Posted: 8/15/2018 at 2:17 PM
Post #73
As soon as Tox pressed his lips against Brain's, he knew he'd crossed a line with her, knew what a huge mistake he had likely made, but there was no turning back. She had gone stiff beneath his hands. He could only imagine what she must be thinking, what she must be feeling, and he knew he would be in trouble for this afterwards. He hoped he could find the words to explain himself.
Now this was not Tox's first kiss, but it was certainly his first in quite a long time. He had expected to feel nothing as they kissed, just a simple matter of their lips touching while Crypt watched. The fact that his heart began to pound wildly in his chest, and his skin seemed like it was hot and cold at the same time caught him completely off guard. Brain's show of trust as she did her best to kiss him back, sent his stomach somersaulting out of control and he fought to maintain his composure. He realized, with a jolt, that he didn't really want to let go of her.
Of course, Tox was forced to let go when Crypt's voice sounded suddenly and angrily. He watched the blonde woman retreat, his mind and body still desperately trying to process everything which had just happened. He turned back to look at Brain just in time to see her raise her hand, and he braced himself. He would have happily accepted the slap, he deserved it and he knew it, but she stopped herself and just stared at him. She was clearly trying to contain her own emotions, and it crushed him to watch her get up and stalk off without a word to him, her badger trailing after her.
"Oh, boy," he groaned, drawing up his knees and hanging his head, "That could have gone better..." He glanced down at Fang, who hissed in agreement. He noted that Brain had left her notebook and thought to himself, At least I'll have an excuse to go see her and apologize later...
-----
Flora worked very hard to maintain her cheery demeanor every hour of every day. She had grown up in a house with six siblings, with her being the epitome of a middle child in the group. Her parents had been so very busy trying to support all of them, there was little time for them to pay much attention to all of the children. When they did, it was usually for the younger or older children and Flora was usually forgotten. She knew how hard her parents worked, how hard they tried to make time for everyone, so instead of complaining she had grown up putting a smile on her face every day and being happy for her parents' sake.
"Your point is a good one," she conceded, "We had similar beliefs where I grew up, though I still think you're not taking into consideration certain aspects of human nature in regards to death, and you should consider being a bit more tactful when it comes to someone experiencing a loss." She was going to say more, but the sun suddenly peeked out from behind a cloud which had been blocking it, and Flora could only smile and tilt her head up to the sky.
Kneeling down where Pele and Grizabella were lazily chasing each other about, Flora slid her hands into the dirt and grass. She could feel life flowing beneath her fingertips, could sense earthworms and the like moving in the earth beneath her, and she felt at peace. Her skin warmed beneath the sun's rays and her body soaked in the energy from that life giving force.
"This place always reminds me of home," she mused aloud softly, warm smile still on her face, "So green and full of life."
Edited By Britters on 8/15/2018 at 3:24 PM.
Creativity
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Posts: 5,902
Posted: 8/15/2018 at 6:33 PM
Post #74
It was hard to determine how she felt. And, if Brain was being perfectly honest, she didn't want to figure it out. All she knew was that the world had turned itself upside down and she wanted to get as far away from there as possible. Her hands clutched her elbows as she briskly made her way to her dorm. She entered her room, slammed the door, and locked it.
She was breathing heavily by the time she was alone (save for Thor, who miraculously made it through the door before she shut it) and she took off her glasses before pressing her fingers to her temples in an attempt to center herself.
'Get over yourself,' came the harsh voice of her mother, perhaps the most harmful person Brain had ever known, and yet, the only mother she'd had.
'Little Duck, won't you let me help you?' And there was Uncle Lance, the only person who had cared for her well-being.
'God has no place on Earth for a creature like you!' There were no words for her father.
She was sick and tired of all the voices, all the whispers of distant memories, all of the thoughts in her mind. She had several years' worth of anger pent up within her, but no outlet. Her hands shook as she looked back on the three people that had had the most influence on her. She didn't want to add Tox to that list. She didn't want to keep up their ruse. She didn't want to feel whatever it was that she felt when she was around him.
Slowly, she rubbed at her eyes, shaking her head a little. She thought she had found a friend. Perhaps he still was. It made sense, that he would do that to her for the sake of their lie. But that didn't make it hurt any less. It didn't make her any less confused.
-
In all honesty, Necro kind of zoned out of the conversation as soon as Flora started telling him what he was and wasn't doing. He knew people's opinions of him, and how they didn't approve of his emotionless approach to Death and Life. He didn't particularly care to hear it over again; it was not something that bothered him per se, but it certainly was annoying after a point.
So, when she finished her spiel, he had to draw his gaze back to her from where it had drifted off towards a tree that had an owl and moth on it. He cleared his throat. "I hear you. But I don't particularly care what you think I should be like," he gave a shrug of his shoulders.
Maybe it was insensitive, but he had never been sensitive. He looked down at the little armadillo - she had called him Pele - that was playing with his precious kitty. His feet were itching to get moving again. The sun was out, and the compound that he had explored a dozen times over already was beckoning for him to discover its secrets again, like that of a playful child playing hide and seek and hiding in the same place every time.
Rather than continue the conversation, Necro decided that that was enough of that, scooped up Grizabella, to which she gave a cracked meow, and began walking off in a random direction.
Britters
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Posted: 8/15/2018 at 7:12 PM
Post #75
To say that the rest of Tox's day had been a rollercoaster of emotions would be an understatement. He kept going from angry at himself for kissing Brain, to angry at Crypt for making it necessary, to confused about what he felt during the kiss, upset that he had upset Brain, and then back to angry. He had stayed in his spot for a good hour after Brain had left, just trying to get a handle on everything. In the end he just decided to throw himself into some meaningless task, like cutting wood for the rest of the afternoon, just so he might be able to take his mind of things.
It hadn't worked, of course. All Tox could think about as he split logs was Brain. He kept trying to explain away his feelings when they'd kissed, tried to make it seem like it only had to do with the fact that Crypt has been watching, but he knew he was fighting an uphill battle. It didn't take a scientist to tell him what he had been really feeling and why, but that just twisted his brain up into more knots. He couldn't feel that way about her, even if thats exactly what was happening. He couldn't let himself go there, because that direction was dangerous. He had to find a way to get past it, find some way to not feel like he had to have his arms around her, to run his hand through her hair, to...
Crap! he thought, and threw his axe to the ground with a curse.
It was dinnertime when Tox finally decided to go looking for Brain. He hoped she had come out of her room by now that she would be at her regular table, and thankfully she was. He still had her notebook tucked into his back pocket. He approached her slowly, both wanting to run to her and run the other way at the same time. Scolding himself rather harshly, he took a deep breath and sat himself down across from her, with a casual ease that he did not feel inside.
"You forgot this earlier," he said handing her the notebook, trying to keep any awkwardness out of his demeanor, she couldn't know what he was feeling, "Look, I have to apologize about earlier. I saw Crypt hiding and spying on us and I panicked." There, a simple explanation given with a shrug of his shoulders. That should be enough to make sure she thought the kiss meant nothing to him.
Creativity
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Posted: 8/15/2018 at 7:23 PM
Post #76
At some point, Brain's emotions had died down to a minimal buzz, rather than the swarming onslaught earlier, and in truth, she just felt...empty. As if something had been taken from her. Something she couldn't get back, and something she wasn't sure she wanted back. But then she realized she was being awfully dramatic and really needed to stop reading poetry books.
She noticed that she had left her notebook, but that was fine. She didn't particularly need to confuse herself any more than she already had. So, instead, she took out a short book from the library - a collection of short stories, actually. With book in hand and a pencil tucked behind one ear along the arms of her glasses, she found her familiar table and set up there.
When Tox approached, her heart sped up, even though she didn't look up from where she was reading "A Rose For Emily" by William Faulkner. She heard footsteps, and she knew it was him. That was further affirmed by him speaking, and even then, Brain refused to react.
It occurred to her, however, that she was being childish. With an inward sigh, she made a small show out of lifting her head a bit but placing a finger on the page, as if she were just trying to finish her paragraph before responding. Upon finishing said paragraph, her eyes flicked up to meet his, and she did her best to make them as void as she possibly could.
Looking into his eyes made her throat dry up, and words were harder to grasp all of a sudden. But she reminded herself that this was not a friendship that her weirdness could risk screwing up, so she cleared her throat and raised her head a bit more. "No, no, I'm the one that's sorry. I was just taken by s-surprise. That's all."
She then forced a small, crooked grin onto her face and cocked her head to the side a bit. "I know you haven't an unlimited memory on you, Tox, but surely you can't have forgotten what I said to you just before you noticed Crypt there?"
Edited By Creativity on 8/15/2018 at 7:32 PM.
Britters
Level 72
The Eggstraordinaire
Joined: 8/25/2014
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Posted: 8/15/2018 at 9:03 PM
Post #77
Sitting across from Brain, feigning indifference, watching her look at him with blank eyes, was one of the hardest things Tox had ever done. All he wanted to do was sit there and stare at the way her red hair caught the light, it looked like a brilliant bonfire (oh great, now he was becoming the poet), but forced himself to maintain his casual body language. Meanwhile, his heart and stomach were going wild again as he looked into her face.
"Believe me," he said, trying to tame his heart rate, "I think we were both very surprised." He reached up and ran his hand up and down the hair at the back of his head, trying to give his idle hands something to do besides itching to reach over and touch Brain's hand.
For a moment, Tox couldn't quite recall what Brain had said back at his spot before Crypt had shown up. All he could remember was their lips meeting and his skin burning up and then cooling down in rapid succession. He could remember thinking about how comfortable his hands felt cupped around her cheeks and...Stop that! he practically shouted at himself. He shook his head ever so slightly and then thought hard about the conversation they had been having before the...before Crypt. Ah, yes, now he remembered.
"Yeah, you said something about not having emotions," he said, and suddenly realized what a dangerous position he'd be putting himself in if he repeated his previous questions, "Everyone has emotions, but as long as the kiss didn't make you feel anything in particular then I think thats for the best." He gave her a roguish smile and quirked his eyebrows at her, trying to seem playful.
Oh, why had he worded it that way? Why?
Tox knew exactly why, and it tore at him. He desperately wanted to know if she had felt anything even remotely resembling what he had felt when they'd kiss, but what good would that do anyone? He couldn't have romantic feelings, not Brain, not for anyone. He couldn't allow himself to become emotionally attached to anyone because he couldn't bear to ever hurt another person he loved in his lifetime. It was better for both of them that the kiss mean nothing. It had to mean nothing.
Creativity
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Posted: 8/15/2018 at 11:20 PM
Post #78
Tox was right of course, but the phrasing of his words stung a little, Brain would admit to herself. It was as if he didn't want her to become attached or anything, or to have enjoyed the kiss at all, and the only reason she could ascertain that he would feel that way was if he was so repulsed by the idea of having to kiss her again that he wanted to be absolutely sure that it would not happen again.
After all, the reason why he had done it in the first place was obviously to help their charade. But if he was so repulsed by her, why would he have suggested this idiotic fib in the first place?
It hurt.
'Have no feelings, Mneme. If you possess none, then none can be used against you.'
Okay, that hurt. Why was it that that line was the one that haunted her the most? Those two sentences spoken to her by her mother, in one of the rare bouts where her mother was sober and grounded. Perhaps, she wondered, there was such significance in her mother's attempt to be a mother that those words were genuine advice from her mother's heart.
But that was getting a bit mushy.
Brain forced her lopsided grin to grow a bit, willing her shoulders to relax in spite of the sting of Tox's words. "Trust me, I have none," she promised him. "An anomaly w-within me, I suppose. So, no, I really felt nothing at that moment," she couldn't bring herself to actually say 'kiss', as if not saying it would make her forget about it. But, of course, she knew that that wouldn't happen.
"Really, it's no big deal. I just don't like sudden movements is all," she shrugged, hoping that it was convincing enough. With her uncanny ability to lie, however, she knew that it was.
Edited By Creativity on 8/15/2018 at 11:20 PM.
Britters
Level 72
The Eggstraordinaire
Joined: 8/25/2014
Threads: 167
Posts: 2,041
Posted: 8/16/2018 at 1:28 PM
Post #79
If there was one word to describe Tox's feelings in this moment, it would be "painful". He looked across the table at Brain and his chest felt so tight it was a wonder he could draw breath. Her words cut at him in a way that was alarming. He did his level best to keep his smug grin on his face as he forced himself to keep eye contact with her.
"Thats good," he said, his casual tone becoming harder to maintain. He stretched his arms languidly above his head, attempting to look far calmer than he felt.
Not for the first time, Tox had to wonder what had even happened to him today. Where had these feelings come from so suddenly? But of course, even a thick-headed guy like him could understand that they must have existed before today, building slowly right under his nose. He didn't know when they must have started, but it seemed logical to assume this was why he had felt so comfortable around her. No longer did he feel comfortable, however, and he wished he could do something about it.
It was good she said she'd felt nothing when they kissed, great even. Tox still didn't understand how she could say she had no emotions, he could still only suppose it had something to do with her past, and that made his predicament all the worse. He desperately wanted to open his mouth and tell her how he felt, if only to let her know that it was okay to have emotions, to feel things, but he dared not. He couldn't open that door, for either of them, nothing good could come from it. He had to find some way to dispel his own feelings, not think about encouraging hers.
"Well," he said, standing up from the table, "I think I'm going to head to bed. I'll see you in the morning." He reached over and put his hand briefly on her shoulder, purely for appearances he told himself. Oh, how much Tox wanted to leave it there, but he removed his hand quickly and walked to his room. He could hear Fang hissing angrily at him and giving his arm a rather painful squeeze, but he simply ignored the serpent's attempt at interference.
Creativity
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Posted: 8/16/2018 at 7:21 PM
Post #80
(Timeskip to the next morning)
The previous day had been a whirlwind, Brain reflected, but she felt as if she was more in control of herself today. She had gone to sleep shortly after Tox, having spent a good half-hour trying to distract herself from the lingering phantom feeling of his hand on her shoulder.
But this morning, she had woken up after having a mostly dreamless night, and felt as if today was different. What few dreams she had experienced during the night - and truly, she remembered each and every one - had reminded her how important it was that she kept herself out of the way of hurt. If that meant trying to put up a blank wall for the day, then so be it. There was nothing she feared more than pain.
Okay, that was a lie, she realized, as an image of Lake Chippewa floated to the front of her mind. She gave an involuntary shudder at the reminder of all of that dangerous water, collected altogether in one large basin.
Giving a small shake of her head, Brain returned her thoughts to her notebook. It was true, she had finally hit that great dead end, and wasn't sure where to go from here. But now, she was just trying to distract herself from everything, really, and was re-reading what she had already had written down, becoming ever so aware of how horrible her handwriting was. It was almost comical to her.
-
Wire had woken up early today, and she was only a little grumpy about it, not that she showed it. After all, she had only gotten up earlier than usual so she could get a jump on the garden spot with Reach. They had found a near-perfect clearing last night, which only needed a bit of prepping before it would be ready for them to start work on.
So now, Wire was helping her new friend clear out the weeds in the area. She really didn't mind, especially since Reach seemed pretty excited about this. And Wire was excited for her. Her timid friend was actually trying to connect with the rest of the compound and start something that would help them.
It was endearing, the way Reach's eyes would light up whenever she would mention the garden-in-progress, or when they first came out here and the English girl saw the clearing again.
No words were exchanged for a bit while they worked, and Wire focused on picking out the weeds as effectively and efficiently as she could. Her dark hand tugged at a particularly deep-rooted one, and she frowned at it, as if that would force it to relent easier.
That's when she felt a slight sting on her hand. Hissing a tiny bit, she glanced down and noticed a purple-based, orange-striped wasp-looking pest on her hand. She flicked it off with her other hand and examined the sting, her frown deepening. It didn't look bad, though, she she shrugged it off and went back to work on the clump of weeds.
-
Nights were always both odd and boring for Necro. Due to his irregular condition, his being both dead and alive, he was unable to sleep. Nor did he require it, really. Though, he had speculated, in his many hours of wakeness, of the possibility of him actually falling asleep. He wondered if, upon him falling asleep, he would ever wake up from it, or if that would finally pull him across that line that his existence towed, the very balance of life and death.
He was awoken from his thoughts by a sudden banging on his door. He rolled his eyes and got up from his bed, where he had been staring at the leaves through the window of his dorm room. He opened his door to see Copy standing on the other side.
"Can I help you, good sir?" Necro joked, despite the fact that Copy was the closest thing he had to a friend in this place. It wasn't that he didn't want friends, but simply that he wandered too far too often.
Copy was leaning against his doorway, brown hair flopped to one side of his head and a paper in his hand. He smirked and handed the paper over to Necro. "Tox got the chore list for the week up, so I made another for you to have. You're paired up with that Hawaiian chick. The real zen one, you know."
Laughing, Necro raised an eyebrow as he scanned the list and saw, indeed, that he was paired up with Flora for potato peeling every day, two hours before dinnertime. "Thanks, Cop," he waved a head to dismiss his friend, who offered a friendly salute before sauntering off.
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