Nothing was making sense, and yet everything was making sense. It felt as though Howl's entire world had been turned upside down once again. He couldn't keep his thoughts together straight and he only barely lift his head to look in Trace's direction. There no words spoken, he wasn't even sure he could form a sentence in that moment anyway, but he wished he could at least reach out to her. That was also impossible, however, considering they were still surrounded by people scrubbing to living heck out of them and besides, he suspected she wouldn't be that accepting of comfort anyway.
After what felt like forever, the people in their biohazard suits finished scrubbing them and hurried out of the shower. Beyond the plastic shielding, Howl could see guards with their guns trained on him and Trace, there to make certain they didn't try anything he was sure. The water temperature was turned down, as well as the pressure, and the two of them were left to stand there while the foul-smelling soap was rinsed from their bodies. He reached up a hand to brush some of his long, dark brown hair out of his face, and just tried to relax beneath the water flow.
Even in his wildest, worst case scenario dreams, Howl had never imagined they would end up in this very situation as a result of Trace's plan. Clearly, Pandora's Box has been a far more apt name for what they had found than either of them anticipated. They were being treated as thought they had been infected with something, and the biohazard suits and masks the guards and doctors were wearing pretty much confirmed all of that. There wasn't much that he could do besides stand there in his boxers, his body bare in front of so many people, and let them do what they wanted.
"How are you doing?" he murmured softly in Trace's direction, not sure if she could hear him but no daring to raise his voice anymore in case the guards with guns found that threatening, "I think we're better off just letting them treat us." He knew she was struggling, could vaguely remember her fighting tooth and nail as they were dragged to the showers. She was a tough girl, as was evident by the collection of scars he saw on her bare skin. They were impressive, and made him admire her all the more.
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Posted: 11/1/2018 at 2:10 AM
Post #222
Two weeks had passed since Tox had discovered Brain's new relationship with Holo, and to say the least, she wasn't sure she quite knew who she was anymore. Jelly made her a marionette, playing with her hair and experimenting with her makeup, even going so far as to put a temporary three-day blonde dye into Brain's hair at one point. She had spoken up after that and told the charmingly adorable Malaysian girl that she'd prefer to leave her hair auburn.
But, Brain let Jelly experiment other than that. Several things, Holo took delight in. That's what Brain aimed for, though. She had hoped that the sick feeling she felt in her stomach every time he gave her a ravenous look would go away - she had hoped it was just nerves, but it continued on. Even now, as she sat at a table, with his arm around her, she couldn't help but feel itchy. She needed to get out of this situation. She needed Holo to not be touching her. She needed him away from her.
She needed Tox.
That's what it came down to, and she knew it. And oh, how she hated it.
It pained her to see him sulking moodily around the compound, though she had no idea why he cared at all. He was the one that destroyed her self-esteem that she had worked so hard to build back up after her father. It pained her to see his absence, too. He used to be in control of everyone, of himself. Thinking of him in general hurt.
Britters
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Posted: 11/1/2018 at 3:43 PM
Post #223
Two weeks...it felt like longer. Tox's hand, which Reach has declared probably had a minor fracture, was still wrapped in supportive bandage though it only ached when he moved it too much. He missed the pain, how acute it was when he first slammed his fist into the stone wall, because it was the only thing that anchored him in the tumultuous sea of emotions that he found himself now drowning in. It was hard for him to even continue functioning but he knew that if he let himself go down that road he might never find his way back.
Two weeks...thats how long it had been since Tox had seen Brain and Holo together for the first time. Thinking about it always made him clench his fist (which per doctor's orders he wasn't supposed to do), which usually caused a lightning strike of pain to arc up his forearm. As it was, it was hard enough to keep his temper from flaring violently enough that his acid burned through the bandage on his hand. He knew that Reach would absolutely murder him since she told him he needed to return it to her when his hand was healed, because they were so low on medical supplies.
Two weeks...and the truth was, Tox really tried not to think about Brain at all. He avoided being anywhere near her new usual table where she sat with her new friends...and Holo. He tried to not think about what catching glimpses of Holo with his arm around Brain did to him, how it made him want to grab the other guy and throw him to the ground. Sometimes he imagined being able to do it, when he lay awake at night in his bed. He would toss Holo to the side and put his arm around Brain and make it very clear that she belonged to him, and he belonged to her. Of course, it was terribly pointless to think about those things.
Two weeks...it felt like forever, and Tox wasn't sure how much longer he could carry on. Even though he did his best to make sure he was as distant from Brain and her new group as possible, there was no healing the gaping hole in his chest. There was no trying to convince himself that he could just "get over" her and move on. He had tried that, and it had made no difference. All he could think about still were eyes like emeralds and hair like fire, and it was slowly eating him up from the inside out.
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Posted: 11/1/2018 at 6:24 PM
Post #224
Pain had become something that Brain had gotten used to over these past couple of weeks. Pain from seeing Tox, from not seeing him, from being with Holo, from spending time with people here that she didn't know, even from her skin. Especially from her skin.
She sat next to Holo, though, watching as Jelly, Copy, and Domino played a game of charades that she had decided to sit out of. Out of sympathy, Holo seemed to sit out of it, as well. He kept his arm around her, as possessive as always, and Brain did her best to not focus on the weight of his limb clutching her to him.
Just as she tried not to focus as Holo pressed a kiss to her jaw. And then another. And another. "Stop," she told him after that, pushing away from him. His blue eyes were shining with mischief, though, and he grabbed her face with his hand, pulling her chin to face him. He captured her lips in his own hungry trap, and she had to fight to pull away from him, for he had placed a firm hand on the back of her head.
"Holo, stop!" she exclaimed. She felt more than a little queasy right now. He was being too pushy. He was trying to hurt her. All she could think was that she had made such a gigantic mistake in this relationship. She wasn't over Tox, and she wasn't going to be over Tox. She was too far in damn love with him. "I'm not ready to go that far yet."
"Haven't I waited long enough?" Holo growled lowly, then took her ear between his teeth. Brain tried to pull away, but then his free hand wandered low, down near her rear, far too close and way too far.
She gasped as he pulled against her lobe. "Holo, stop!" she cried, feeling tears come to her eyes. This wasn't okay. This was definitely not okay. But he was stronger than her. He could take it all the way, and there'd be nothing she could do about it. "I'm not feeling well, just... Just get off of me!"
It wasn't a lie; she constantly felt seconds away from puking by now. She wanted Tox. She needed to call out from him, but his name would catch in her throat every time she did. Tears began to fall freely from her eyes, and she thanked Heaven that Jelly had used waterproof makeup.
"You feel just fine to me..." Holo purred in her ear before catching her lips again. Brain tried to pull away from him, but the hand he kept on the back of her head, forcing her face into his, was too strong for her to conquer.
Britters
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Posted: 11/1/2018 at 11:58 PM
Post #225
Nothing made sense, and yet everything made sense. This was what Tox's life had now boiled down to, a neverending tunnel of regrets and memories he'd rather not think about. He was a mess, a total wreck, Reach and Wire the only people who kept trying to get him to eat and sleep. He was grateful for them, but he also felt like it was a losing battle. There just seemed to be nothing left in him but aches in his chest and the now sputtering flame of fury resting in his belly, almost extinguished now.
Having lived with such rage burning inside of him constantly, Tox never realized just how much he depending on the fire within. It had fueled him, kept him going, motivated him do the things he needed to do and now that it was gone...he felt lost. He had let it die because he was trying so hard not to feel, to not remember a thousand things he wished he could forget but the idea of forgetting any of it made his stomach churn. He would never be able to that, knew that he would hate not laying in bed at night thinking about her fiery hair, her sparkling green eyes, and her soft lips more than the pain those memories caused.
It was very simple when it all boiled down, and Tox knew it. He loved Brain, he loved her with everything he had, and he wasn't going to be able to just pretend that he didn't. Maybe what he really needed to do was just confess to her how he felt, and then explain the very good reasons that they couldn't be together. She didn't seem that happy with Holo, though she tried to keep up appearances, but that didn't mean she couldn't be happy with someone else, even she she still had feelings for him. Yeah, that's what he would do...he would just tell her.
Striding towards the courtyard with more energy than he'd had in weeks, Tox was equal parts thrilled and terrified. He was going to tell Brain how he felt, and even though he still knew they couldn't be together at least they would both have closure. A part him, way in the back of his mind and heart, entertained the fantastical notion that she would be so insistent thatbthese loved him too they would somehow find a way that a relationship could work. Those hopes died as soon as he rounded the corner.
Holo and Brain were wrapped in a romantic embrace, and Tox suddenly felt very much like vomiting (which he was also under very strict doctor's orders not to do). He tried to think of this as a good thing, that maybe once he made his confession to her she could be happy with Holo, except now he knew he wouldn't be able to bring himself to approach them now. He turned to leave, but then he caught a glimpse of Brain's face and he knew something was very, very wrong...
The flame inside of Tox's stomach flared to life so violently and burned so hot he thought for a second he might actually combust into flames where he stood. His vision went red, and he felt Fang tighten around his bicep and hiss threateningly in Holo's direction. That guy was forcing himself on Brain, he was hurting her...and he was going to pay. Tox tasted the metallic tang of blood in his mouth and realized he must have bit his tonguebas he clenched his teeth which was enough to get him moving. He stomped forward, grabbing the back of Holo's shirt and yanking him backwards without a word, dragging him a few feet and then pressing him with his back against the wall, his hand around the guy's throat.
"Do not," he said to Holo, his voice low and dangerous, "Do not ever touch her again, do you understand me?" He thought of all the things he could do, all of the ways he could hurt this...vermin. He thought of what could have happened to Brain if he hadn't been walking by and he felt his hand grow hot. For the first time in many years, he let the acid seep purposefully out of the palm of the hand pressed against Holo's throat.
"If you ever come near her or even speak to her from now on," he declared, his eyes flickering with barely controlled fury, watching Holo's eyes widen as the faint sizzle of flesh reached his ears and nostrils, "I will leave you with more than a ring around your neck and trust me...next time I'll do some serious damage to your pretty little face you're so proud of. Now leave, you piece of filth." He released his hand from Holo's neck and watched with satisfaction as he ran away. He looked over at Brain, the million things he had wanted to say to her dying on his tongue.
The weight of what had just happened was too much for Tox, and the fire was within him was still burning to brightly, so he did the 9bly thing he could do...he turned and walked away, and he kept walking until he reached his special place.
Creativity
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Posted: 11/2/2018 at 8:10 AM
Post #226
Brain didn't know what to do. What to feel. What to think. The moment Tox entered the picture, a glimpse in the corner of her eye at first, she felt empty. Like she had realized just how terribly screwed up this entire situation was. And then after that, for the first time in her life, she felt a glimmer of hope at the idea of being rescued.
Growing up, she had learned to take care of her and her own. She didn't like to admit needing help, because every time she would ask her father for help as a child, he would rage out on her and chase her with a belt, leave her with bruises that didn't hurt as much as her heart. With a father that wanted her dead and a mother that didn't care whether she was alive, she had had to grow up quickly. It felt almost like she'd been fighting for her life since she was four years old.
After all, her father didn't know about her Ability until then. He thought she was his sweet, innocent child before he had learned how the devil had taken hold of her.
She didn't realize that she had chewed her cheek in fear until she tasted the blood. All she knew was that Tox had grabbed Holo with the fury of her father, thousand times over. That snapped her out of it. She saw Tox, holding Holo against a wall with his hand around the other's throat, and she realized what was happening.
"Tox!" she cried out, but her voice cracked harshly on it, tears beginning to flow from her eyes just as freely again. But it was too late. Tox had burned Holo. Tox, who swore to her how he hated to hurt people. Who had shown a side of him that night that was vulnerable, and sweet, and sensitive. Who used to do everything in his power to prevent fights.
All Brain could think was how utterly stupid the both of them had been. When Tox briskly walked off, it didn't take a genius to know where he had gone. And believe it or not, but Brain remembered the way there. Funny, that.
Once she had recovered herself enough to stop her crying and compose herself, she padded lightly in the direction of Tox's secret place, feeling lighter than air and like the weight of the world was holding her back.
There he was, against that wall in the very place he had shown her just a month or so ago. Brain approached, but maintained a couple feet in between them. Her arms were crossed around her protectively, and she cocked her head to the side with one question written on her face: 'Why?'
Britters
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Posted: 11/2/2018 at 4:22 PM
Post #227
The journey to his small, hidden oasis was a complete blur to Tox. His mind was in turmoil, his body trembling with tension. He felt like his blood was boiling in his veins. All he could think of was getting himself away from other people. Like a caged animal he paced back and forth in front of the smell section of concealed wall that he called his own, trying to stitch himself back together since he felt like he had scattered into many pieces just now. He ran both hands through his vibrant hair, causing it to rise up in erratic spikes.
What had just happened had shook Tox to his very core. Everything he had tried so hard to put behind him, all of those years of letting himself be used as a means of causing others pain because he couldn't bare his own pain any longer, he had thrown all his hard won victories away in a single moment. As he stood there, struggling to pull himself back from the edge, the one thing he knew without a doubt was...he would do it again in a heartbeat if he had to. For her he would do anything, for her he knew he could conquer any fear.
In that one moment when Tox had seen Holo assaulting Brain, a great many things had become clear. The first was that what he felt for her was no mere crush, which he had already kind of known anyway, but that his love for her went deep. The second thing was that he had been such a fool. Feelings that deep were not going to be denied, they were not going to be gotten over, but more than that they were the kind of feelings that you fought for. People could spend their whole lives looking for love like this and never find it, and here he was practically having it handed to him on a silver platter and the first thing he did was tear her down and make her hate him. At the time he thought he was protecting her, but now he was realizing just how stupid he had been.
Knowing, or at least hoping, that Brain would follow him, it came as no surprise to Tox when she came up behind him. He stopped his pacing and stood facing the wall while she came to a stop on his left. He could see her out of the corner of his eye and the urge to grab her and embrace her was so strong, but this whole situation was going to require delicacy. He had a lot of damage he needed to mend. He fidgeted with his bandaged right hand and took a very deep breath before actually turning his eyes in her direction. His heart clenched at the question that was painted so clearly on her tilted face.
"Because, I...," he started, emotion clogging his throat and he fought for his control back, "I couldn't let him hurt you like that. I couldn't let him do that to you while I just stood there. I..." He trailed of again, wishing he could find the words easier. "I shouldn't have burned him, but I couldn't control myself. He hurt you and...I couldn't let him do that to someone I loved like I love you." There it was, the big confession. He stood there, heart pounding, his eyes locked on her face while he waited.
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Posted: 11/3/2018 at 1:18 PM
Post #228
It was as if all words dropped off of Brain's tongue, and all thoughts dropped out of her head. She should be shocked. She should be confused. She should want to run away, to hide and ignore all of the problems that had arisen within the past few weeks, ever since that day when she started fake-dating Tox. But mostly, all she felt was tired.
Her chest was aching, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to deal with it. A person is supposed to learn about relationships and heartbreaks and how to work them from her parents, but Brain had never received that luxury.
Instead, she had been forced to bundle all of her emotions up and file them away in a secluded, locked cabinet drawer where no one could infiltrate, not even she. She had learned that the only way to survive in this world was to put your emotions aside, to pretend they didn't exist, because people were bound to hurt you anyway for their own selfish desires.
But Tox... Over these past few weeks, Tox had brought out more emotions from her than she had ever thought possible. Before he had shattered her, she had become even more comfortable around him than she had been around her uncle. Than she had ever been around anyone in her entire life.
And this confession of his was enough to send her over the edge. To break her open again, but perhaps not necessarily in such a bad way as he had said before. "I..." she struggled to find words, eyes welling up with tears again as she struggled to process what he had said.
"I feel..." she tried again. It occurred to her then that she never really expressed what she felt. Why bother? People could just use it against you.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. she carefully walked over to the wall and pressed her hands against it to steady herself. "I have no feelings," she muttered bitterly with her eyes closed. She opened them again and stood up straight, pushing herself off the wall. "D-damn it..." she sighed.
As she began to pace a little, Brain knew that she wanted to tell him. She wanted to confess that she reciprocated his feelings. She just... She didn't know how.
"I f-feel - " she started off in an almost angry tone, trying to figure out how to just come out and say the words she wanted to say. They wouldn't speak though, as her throat constricted once again with tears.
Britters
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Posted: 11/3/2018 at 7:33 PM
Post #229
There were a thousand different things Tox had imagined Brain saying in response to his confession, but he hadn't ever considered the possibility that she wouldn't be able to say anything at all. It was heartbreaking, and on more than one level because after their night in the shipping container, when she had told him about her what her mother and father had put her through, he felt like he could almost understand why she was having such difficulties.
So many times Tox had heard Brain talking about how she didn't have feelings, and it made his blood begin to boil again just thinking about how traumatized she must have been as a child to believe such a thing. His heart ached for her, his hands longed to touch her, and his arms urged him to wrap her in an embrace and tell her that he would protect her from anything or anyone else who would seek to make her feel less than the amazing person she was. However, he knew he couldn't just totally overwhelm her like that.
"Hey, hey," he said softly, reaching out laying his hands upon her shoulders with a touch that was feather light, "Its okay. You don't have to say anything if its too difficult for you. I would never make you do that." He lowered his head a little so he could make direct eye contact with her, his warm brown eyes locked with her shining green ones, hands still on her shoulders. "But, Abigail, you do have feelings. You know I know better than that, and its okay to have feelings." He didn't want to push her too hard, but he had to let her know that she could talk to him.
Of course, it wasn't like Tox didn't understand why Brain might hesitate to open up to him. After what he had said to her in the shipping container he wouldn't have blamed her if she had slapped him across just now when he had confessed his own feelings. He had told her terrible, awful things, had torn her down after she had just started to let down her formidable defenses for him. She had been trying to give him something that he felt sure she hadn't given to hardly anyone else in her life before, and he had stomped all over her. It was unforgivable...
"I'm sorry," he said, letting his hands drop and his head hang down shamefully, "I don't expect you to have anything nice to say to me after the way that I treated you. I'm so very sorry that I hurt you, and I wish that I could take it all back, and do that entire night over again. I...I don't think theres anything I could say to you that would ever make up for that, and I understand." He could feel his throat begin to feel tight as he realized that he might still need to let her go, even after all of this. If she couldn't ever bring herself to trust him again, he wouldn't blame her.
Creativity
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Posted: 11/3/2018 at 9:21 PM
Post #230
Brain felt cornered in the situation, as if she was a child again and her father was towering over her as she cowered into her closet. She couldn't give in, but she had nowhere else to go. She felt almost panicked, hyperaware of her surroundings and yet unable to get a hold of who Tox was right then. Was he the man that opened himself up to her, that told her of all the horrors he had known in his past, about his sister and his gang position and the awful things he was forced to do? Was he the man who, almost immediately after, was so hurt by something that he lashed out at her in such a way that she had never been injured like before? Or was he the man who, in spite of how much aversion he had to burning people, because of all of the trauma he had with it in his past, had burned the man who was physically hurting her, putting her own well-being suddenly before whatever pain he might have felt in it?
When he grabbed her shoulders, however light, it brought her back to reality some. She looked into his eyes, and she saw the genuine warmth there, present in some reaction to the purity she now saw in him. In truth, Brain hardly even heard what he had said. It was as if time slowed down, and her heartbeat was pumping slowly in her ears as she realized just how far in love with him she was. There was no recovering from this.
And as she stood there, with his hands so gently touching her, with his soft voice reminding her to breathe, to think, to keep going, nothing in the world mattered to her except Tox then. He was, in that moment, the most attractive and the most amazing person she had ever met. And although she knew she would never understand quite why he had done what he did in the shipping container that day, she recognized in his eyes the absolute love.
No one had ever looked at her like that before.
Brain let all attempts at verbal communication fall off her tongue as she swallowed hard. All she could focus on - all she wanted to focus on - was the gentle gaze that Tox was giving her, and that gorgeously sweet timbre of that voice that was speaking to her.
She didn't think. She couldn't think. When Tox broke that contact, his hands on her shoulders, she didn't even hear what he was saying. All she knew was that he wasn't pushing her. And that was enough.
With a burst of courage, Brain surged forward and pressed her lips against Tox, arms wrapping around his neck.
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