Wait u r?

*suddenly gets interested and starts trying to finish the showcase for once so i have more time*
Ood i need to getto work asap on this stuff....*goes to hang out in tlg for awhile*

Don't procrastinate, orca!
Wait, what showcase?

Themed pet showcase


The one at the very bottom of the thread or in the middle so fewpeople actually seeit

Riht after the design columns

Oh
We're spamming again

Yes.

But its kiwi.

Not some random newbie

When writing sentences, something you want to try to avoid is using the same word multiple times
ex: "It was raining out so she had hid under a tree to get out of the rain."

But the bigger problem with that sentence is that you've extended it unnecessarily by repeating the same information twice, "It was raining out so she had hid under a tree" would be enough here, or "she had hid under a tree to get out of the rain" also works but is not all needed together
(sorry for picking apart this one line just trying to use a clear example)


Over clarifying the main POV as a dog: this is more something that bothers me and probably not something that is going to be mentioned but once you let us know what the character is, when they talk you don't need to say "she barked" after having said something, I believe having "she said" would be enough
But, rewriting the line as "She barked with rage before slamming her paws against the cage. "Let me out!" sounds better but this is a very personal and picky thing

But on another point, when characters are talking try to not end every sentence with "*name* said/barked", when 2 characters are talking as long as you clarify who spoke first and whose replying, we should not need a reminder unless the same character talks over their conversation partner
Ex: Faith looked at the wolf and barked, "who are you?"
(you could add something in front of this next sentence instead of ending it with "he barked", like "He gave her more of his attention at this," as Gecko notices this new person is trying to gain his attention, or "Distractedly as if he'd answered this question many times before, he responded with," which would tell the reader he's been here for a while at least and is used to welcoming the new ones)
"Oh I'm Gecko, who are you?" he barked.
"I'm Faith, do you know how to get out of here?" she barked.


Very fast pacing: while you should not write sentences unnecessarily long nor should you repeat information to try lengthening your writing, using more visuals and new information works well here
-describe the setting for the reader, doing this also helps you figure out what new information you can bring up that you may have not thought of as important before
-she broke the locks very fast, how did she achieve this?


Questions as the reader:
.why did the humans disappear?
.why does Faith care about the well being of the other wolves?


Random structure tip I really appreciated from my teacher: Your writing is like a necklace, there is a lot of string and small beads, but what really stands out on a necklace are the bigger stones and trinkets
When writing a story, the memorable moments wont make up the most part of the story but they shine brighter because the smaller parts allow them to stand out, when I write and think of cool scenes I write them out even if there is no lead up to them yet, because once you've created a destination you can start working on reaching it


I wish you the best with your writing :)

*takes notes for he story im writing which i cant finish due to it being on my tablet which...the mother has decided to hide*

(Ive only really read the first chapter because its late and I gotta sleep, but heres my advice so far)

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet, but the pronouns are really repetitive, in the second paragraph of chapter 1, you used she 21 times

You could also make the introduction of her appearance blend a little more nicely, you put her appearance between stating that she is a lone wolf and she had tried to join other packs before, which breaks the flow a little.

Id suggest trying to introduce her appearance in a way that flows better

Ex: The white-furred wolf was hiding near the city to hide from the packs. When is the rain going to stop? Faith thought before closing her green eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Thank you both of you for the tips, I will work on my writing skills