This was quickly turning into a crisis situation, and Tox wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't particularly good in a crisis and this wasn't even an ordinary crisis. This was him and Brain stuck in a shipping container with unknown supplies and all alone apart from their familiars. No, this was not an ordinary situation nor a situation he wanted to be in for anything in the world. Then, of course, at the same it was exactly the situation that he wished to be in and he hated himself for it.
In the back of his mind, Tox was aware of the fact that Brain was clearly having a panic attack, but he found himself merely staring at her as she banged on the door, listened to her breathing rapidly, unable to take his eyes off of her. His stomach as tumbling, and his muscles tensed as he resisted the urge to run to her and hold her to him. He wanted to make it better, he wanted to help her not feel so trapped and panicked. He heard her sob, and it pained him to hear it. Fang hissed at his irritably again.
"You just be quiet," he muttered quietly, scowling heavily at the snake. The serpent really needed to mind his own business.
With a deep breath, Tox tried to make up his mind. They were trapped, yes. He was still trying to stifle all of his feelings regarded Brain, yes. However, they were in this situation together and she needed him right now. He had told himself he needed to put some distance between them, needed to not do anything to encourage his feelings but that didn't matter right now. All that mattered to him was trying to help her, it consumed him.
"Look, its really going to be alright," he said, walking toward her and, without thinking, lifting his arms up to wrap around her, which of course sent a lightning bolt of pain through his shoulder and upper arm, "Ahhh!" His shout of pain was not what he'd planned on and he cursed himself for his stupidity. Why could he never think things all the way through around her? Of course...the answer was pretty simple.
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Posted: 8/21/2018 at 12:27 AM
Post #92
When Tox moved closer to her and attempted to give her a hug, Brain flinched out of pure instinct. After all, when one relives such a memory that one had not thought of for some time, a horrible memory at that, not always was one able to differentiate the past from the present, and strong arms reaching out for her reminded her of her father's vice-like grip, threatening to grab her and hold her head in the bathtub until she stopped flailing about.
Something seemed to bring her back to reality, however, when he cried out in pain. It was as if a voice in her mind was screaming at her to forget about herself again. He was hurt, injured, and she might be able to help him.
'Get over yourself,' came the cruel voice of her mother, and it was suddenly a little easier to breathe. Brain's gaze hardened for a flicker of a moment before she sucked in a deep breath and reached out to Tox, not touching him but almost.
"Are you hurt? Oh, God, y-you're hurt... It's because you r-ran at the wall, isn't it?" Surprisingly, she found a bit of comfort in speaking, though her voice was ever so slightly hoarse and she cleared her throat before continuing on, in spite of her stammer acting up. "You know, I d-do have a b-background in medicine. I attended medical sch-school for a year."
Even if she no longer felt like she was eight years old again, she certainly sounded like it. It was true, her natural stutter used to be much worse than what it usually is today, and she could focus most of the time on articulating her words and making sure she doesn't trip over most of them, but she was panicked, and that wasn't really her main priority. Tox was.
Britters
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Posted: 8/21/2018 at 1:22 AM
Post #93
In Tox's pain-addled mind, his main objective was still to help Brain get over her panic attack. He still tried to focus on comforting her, but he was overwhelmed. His shoulder felt like it was on fire, and despite his determination to go to Brain, he knew he was fighting a losing battle. Perhaps this was the universe's way of reminding him not to touch her, but he thought that there were perhaps less painful ways of doing that.
"I'm gonna sit down," he said, not really saying it to Brain in particular, the pain had just reached a threshold, "Yeah...sitting." He turned around and sat down heavily on a wooden crate, which was thankfully solid enough to take his weight.
There was something calming about Brain's voice. Tox never really noticed her stutter, it was just part of who she was, and he rather liked it. He could focus on what she was saying, and he could focus on her hand reached out towards him. He wanted to reach out and grab it, but the pain was too bad and he didn't trust himself enough at the moment. The full extent of his injury was becoming quite apparent, and he wished (not for the first time) that he wasn't such a hothead.
"Thats good," he told her through a grimace of pain, "Because I'm pretty positive my shoulder is dislocated. Running at the door was a dumb move..." There was a time, after his parents had kicked him out for what he'd done, that he had fallen in with a bad crowd. He had become rather familiar with common injuries such as shoulder dislocation. "So, hopefully you know how to help me pop it back in because I was never very good at doing it by myself."
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Posted: 8/21/2018 at 1:38 AM
Post #94
Perhaps it was her overly-accessible memory acting up once again, but now that Brain had recovered from her mini panic, she could see how much pain Tox was in, and by the looks of his shoulder, it was almost certainly dislocated, and the image reminded her of something one of her professors in med school had once told her.
She had asked him after class one day, out of curiosity, what the best way is for doing something highly painful to a patient that needed to be done, such as removing a knife or popping a dislocated shoulder back into place. 'Misdirection and seeming spontaneity. The patient will feel better afterwards.' That's what he had said to her.
So, now, as Brain watched Tox and heard him ask her to pop it back into place, she wondered if she should try the technique. Her head cocked to the side ever so slightly in consideration and her eyes narrowed just the tiniest bit. She acted as if she hadn't even heard what he'd said, even though she truly had.
It was like ripping off a bandaid, wasn't it? There was a time, when she was three years old, when she had scraped up her knee on asphalt and had to wear a bandaid. She didn't want to take it off for her bath, so her Uncle Lance had sat her down and asked her what she knew about giraffes. Wide-eyed, she had recounted the giraffe show she had seen on the nature channel (as their television was broken at the time and only had a limited number of channels) almost word-for-word. She'd hardly even noticed when the bandage was ripped off.
Her nose scrunched a little as she came back to the present day and swallowed hard, prepping herself. She had never actually popped a shoulder back into place, but she certainly knew how. "Hey, T-Tox? What do you know ab-bout giraffes?"
She drifted closer to him, and in the midst of his reply, took hold of his arm and, with a quick jerk, reset his shoulder into its socket.
Britters
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Posted: 8/21/2018 at 5:02 PM
Post #95
Trying to keep his breathing as steady as possible, Tox sat on the bench with his eyes closed. Fang was a comforting presence on his good shoulder, hissing softly in his ear as he breathed. He was no stranger to pain, but a dislocated shoulder was not something to scoff at. It was amazing how much of the damage adrenaline initially rendered unnoticeable. He once again scolded himself for having run at the door like that in the first place, though he tried telling himself that it was because he thought he could get there before Crypt shut the door. He grew even angrier at the thought of the blonde woman.
The feeling of Brain's presence was...difficult to put into words. Tox knew he shouldn't be enjoying her nearness as much as he was, knew he shouldn't wish her to never step away, and yet he did nothing to dissuade himself at the moment. The pain in his shoulder was quite bad, and he was going to take whatever comfort he could at the moment, even if that meant allowing himself to feel things he knew he should not. Brain spoke to him again, her voice soothing and centering him as he listened...and then he frowned deeply.
"Giraffes?" he asked her, tremendously confused, "What in the hell are you asking me about giraffes fo-AAARRRGGGHH!" His response was cut short as the redhead grabbed his arm and gave it a mighty jerk. Pain flared bright as he squeezed his eyes shut tight against the brief onslaught.
It probably shouldn't have surprised him as much as it had, Tox thought to himself, but during his troubled days on the streets his companions hadn't bothered to be so nice about setting things like a dislocated shoulder. It was done with ceremony and without regard to the patient in question. He had learned to grit his teeth and bear a rather high level of pain for any one person to endure, if only to prove his toughness. He supposed if he had anything to be thankful for it was that his being kidnapped and brought to the compound had taken him away from all of that.
"Thank you," he finally said to Brain, sincere gratitude in his tone, the pain from his shoulder slowly fading to a dull ache now that it was back where it should be, "I really shouldn't have run at that door. We didn't need any more...complications." He took another look around the shipping container. "We should probably try looking through this stuff to see if theres something we could use."
Edited By Britters on 8/21/2018 at 5:03 PM.
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Posted: 8/21/2018 at 5:27 PM
Post #96
The urgency of the situation seemed to die down the tiniest bit, in Brain's evaluation of everything, and she was still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that they were trapped. She felt the distant memory of suffocation, of being locked in with musty clothing again, but she refused to let it take over like it had done before.
Instead, she turned, arms on her elbows defensively, and began walking towards the other side of the container. "We need to figure a way out of here," she sighed, focusing once again on trying to control her speech.
It was true that when she was younger, kids would tease her for her stumblings, and every time she'd try to defend herself, she'd end up tripping over her words even more and feed the fire. After a while, she learned to control herself and to not pay attention to the bullies, and they went away, just like that. Sometimes - no, scratch that, most of the time, she wished that her other problems would disappear so quickly, but alas. As with now, ignoring the fact that she was stuck in a shipping container with Tox would not help anything.
She gritted her teeth and glanced at the haphazardly arranged boxes, strewn about the container. "It's kitchen supplies, Tox," she gave him a meaningful look. "That's not really going to help us." She visibly deflated, arms falling to her side and shoulders drooping. "But you're right. We need to do something."
Another sentence danced on the tip of her tongue, and she turned away from Tox again, debating on whether or not she should say it. She was not typically one to divest her feelings or, really, anything about herself, because she learned long ago that no one really cared. But this atmosphere was strange, was different, and she suddenly felt trapped - not by the walls, but by the awkward silence that ensued.
"Sorry about earlier. I haven't the best experiences with closed spaces," she eventually blurted out, if only to ease her own discomfort, and perhaps apologize for her actions earlier. Killing two birds with one stone.
Britters
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Posted: 8/21/2018 at 11:14 PM
Post #97
With the pain in his shoulder more or less subsided, Tox was able to start logically analyzing the situation. He knew they weren't going to be trapped in here long. Not only did others at the compound know they had left, but the doctors and scientists liked to keep track of everyone. They probably weren't going to care if the two of them had to spend the night in here, but they likely wouldn't let them die in here, so that was a plus. Still, they were going to have to get a little creative.
"Yes, Brain," he said, turning to look at her with a rolling his eyes with playful drama, "I did remember they're kitchen supplies. I hit my shoulder, not my head." He was trying to keep things light with his joke and smirking grin, even though inside he still felt his stomach would never stop rolling. "But we have to try and take inventory of what we have to work with in regards to making it through the night and maybe getting us out of here."
This whole situation was nuts, Tox thought to himself, shaking his head slightly. He was still desperately trying to understand his sudden feelings for Brain, though he knew they had to have been developing for some time and he just hadn't understood what was happening. He couldn't believe he'd let himself get into this predicament, and he didn't mean the shipping container. Being in love, or having feelings that seemed to be leading in that direction, were not something he could allow himself to do...ever. He had discovered that all he was capable of doing to those he loved was hurt them and he had vowed to never love anyone else for that reason. Brain, however, was making him lose all sense of reason.
"Don't worry about it," he said, his voice gentle again as he smiled softly at her, "I don't have a problem with closed spaces but there are other things that I'm...that make me uncomfortable, so I understand. We just have to stay calm and work together." He had almost said there were things that made him afraid, which he knew had to do with how comfortable he was talking to Brain, but that was not an admission he wanted to make right now.
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Posted: 8/21/2018 at 11:36 PM
Post #98
This whole situation was becoming more and more strange. Well, that was worded incorrectly, Brain realized. It wasn't that it was becoming more strange; it was that it was already so wildly peculiar, and she was only now taking notice of the oddity of everything. From the beaten up container to the kitchen supplies to being locked in to Tox.
She wasn't quite sure how she felt about it all. It was certainly a lot, and after her memory had stopped trying to flood her with traumatic flashbacks, she had fallen back into her calmer demeanor, her eyes narrowing the slightest bit through her glasses as they normally did and back straightening as she once again affected her exterior of not caring.
His teasing was almost endearing, she realized, but some part of it still irritated her. She opened her mouth to say something, but then hesitated. This was perhaps her most annoying insecurity, and also one of the deepest hidden ones that extended much farther into her than she really cared to mention. But she trusted Tox. In spite of this stupid fake relationship, in spite of the stunt he pulled yesterday to help sell their lie, in spite of being locked in this banged-up shipping container with him per his request that she join him, and in spite of having just had to pop his shoulder back into place... She trusted him. She didn't know why, though.
So, she opened her mouth again, shoulders raising a bit with tension and hesitancy, and made her request. "This may s-seem a bit odd to you, but could you tr-try not to use my name very often?" she asked, out of nowhere, he may think. "I don't particularly...like it."
She refused to look at him now, instead glancing around the container again with her ears burning in embarrassment. Why had she said that? Could she trust him? The answer was obvious, and she still couldn't figure it out. But the words were out there in the open, and there was nothing she could do about it. Instead, she tried to change the subject, looking in his direction, but not at him.
"Yes, calm. I'm calm now, I promise. I won't be hitting the door anymore," she offered him a wry smile, but still didn't meet his gaze.
Britters
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Posted: 8/22/2018 at 7:41 PM
Post #99
To say that Tox was feeling better about the situation wouldn't be entirely accurate, but he was starting to get his emotions back under control. He no longer felt like he was riding a terrible rollercoaster, going back and forth between anger at Crypt for locking them in here and mad at himself for his feelings about Brain. The situation was what it was, and the only thing to be done about it was to survive, and he was nothing if not a survivor, that was certain.
"Hopefully we can find something we can use as blankets," he pondered aloud, beginning to step cautiously further into the shipping container, careful about jostling his still sore shoulder, "It gets so blasted cold at night, and it's not like these containers are insulated. Not to mention how banged up this one is." Food and water seemed not to be a problem but the nighttime temperature drop did concern him.
Tox was so wrapped up in his ponderous thoughts that he barely caught what Brain had said, but once he realized she was speaking he turned to her with rapt attention. His initial reaction to her request was not confusion, for he figured understood her feelings. When you didn't have anything positive to feel about your ability, these code names they were given were nothing but a painful reminder of what a monster you were. He didn't necessarily understand what was so bad about an infinite memory, but they all had their crosses to bear he supposed, and he was sure she had secrets just like the rest of them. He wouldn't question her about it.
"Alright," he said agreeably enough, "But then...what would you like me to call you?" He peered at her curiously, but was patient while she answered him.
Edited By Britters on 8/22/2018 at 9:58 PM.
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Posted: 8/22/2018 at 8:14 PM
Post #100
Tox's question caught Brain by surprise. Her entire life, she hadn't ever been quite happy with who she was. Who she pretended to be, or who she truly was. She had never really known herself, she supposed. All she knew was that she didn't like it. Her eyes widened ever so slightly as she realized that she wasn't certain who, exactly, she wanted to be, much less what she would choose to be called. She had never had such a choice in her life.
She met his gaze again, and saw the trust in there. He didn't ask why she wasn't comfortable with her own name; he just accepted that. That thought caused a burning heat to flare up in her chest, and she wondered what was wrong with her.
He was waiting for an answer, though, so she recovered herself with a hard swallow and opened her mouth, trying to find words for him. What name would she give him? She was making a big deal over nothing. She should probably just take back her odd request. But what came out of her mouth was much different than a simple 'nevermind'.
"Well, my mother picked a name for me when she had to enroll me in school, and -" she cut herself off as she felt her heart speed up considerably. She had not openly spoke of her mother in seven years. Her green eyes traveled to the wall and she struggled to recenter herself before continuing. She was already this far in. Might as well tell him. "She named me Mneme. Mneme Abigail Evermore, if I'm being specific..." She laughed after that, but it was empty. "It feels so strange to hear it aloud again. I've been Brain for four years."
She gave a small shake of her head and cleared her throat, flashing him a quick smile. "Though, I never quite liked Mneme either, as I'm sure you can understand," she tilted her head towards him a little bit, smile growing ever so slightly.
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