Day 1 Entry 1

I'm at my PHP right now, this person let's call them A is super cute and i love talking to them i feel such a connection. But they have a boyfriend. OH WELLL LOL ****** ME :) Everytime everytime.
Anywho I don't want to eat for some reason, it's less of me restricting but more of my body saying no it likes the feeling. But i took 2 bites of a sandwhich so i could take my lunch med. I also brought 2 fidget things and my piers r playing with them which i like but i feel scared i might loose them and be sad. Last time when i was in residential V ruined my squishy ball and i know i shouldn't have as hard of feelings about this as i should buti literally got so upset and selfharmed over it... i think, i have bad memory.