Anyone have any clue why random people(mostly men) will send random friend requests on sites like Facebook(and other social media sites) and think that saying things like "cute woman" "beauty/beautiful woman/lady/girl/ect" will get them anywhere with the people they just randomly friend requested? I understand that complements are intended to be a good thing, BUT when the woman(person that received the random friend request) has made it clear that they are in a relationship, and/or don't like(or are made uncomfortable/uneasy) by complements from strangers and they are trying their best to be polite and make it clear they aren't interested in the complements and/or having a "friendship" this this random person...yet said random person isn't getting the hint that what they are doing isn't they way to go about it...and putting it bluntly leads to the interjection of a curse word and explanation points to make yourself heard...

I have dealt with the above WAY to many times over my life, and it's concerning to see people(again largely male) thinking that just because they are behind a computer they can get away with this behavior...it's also sad to see that this is still something that's going on.

It's evolutionary! :) In humans, as a general rule, the males are promsicuous, the females are choosy (there are always exceptions to this rule).

Think of it like pigeons. You'll notice after watching them for awhile that the males will pursue the females (or the other way around) in the most annoying way ever. Scenario is like this:

Male will find a female and fly up to perch next to them. The other will shift herself away. The male follows. The female then flies to the other side of the garden. The male chases. The female then flies up to a nearby tree or power line. The male follows and tries to get close. At this point, female eventually flies out of reach cuz she is soooo annoyed and has not picked him. The male will then find another female, and the cycle repeats. One sex is usually more annoying than the other (with exceptions). With many birds it is the female, with humans, it is often the male.

Another angle on the evolutionary tidbit:

Some people, whether or not they are internet-savvy, learn how to socialize differently. They may not detect the cues that people (men or women) try to use to make a person stop doing what they're doing.

The stereotype that "girls are hard to get" or "guys have to be persistent to get the girl" might be influential to certain people in how they socialize. If they believe it enough, they'll use that way of thinking in how they try to create relationships with others (intimate or not).

Point is, you're on a whole different page than the other person. That person may think that your "no, please stop talking to me" is just an obstacle to them that can be easily overcome with persistence.

Now, to tie in the evolutionary part:

Methodologies that don't work should be proven that they don't work. If someone being overly friendly to you isn't the way that you'd like to socialize online, then make it known in either of these two ways:

1. Tell them to stop. (which I see you've tried)

or

2. Ignore them. (or block them, with the intent to never talk to them again)

Ignoring works wonders on trolls or persistent people who don't get the message. And the reason why people break into frustration is because they don't ignore them.
Instead, the terrible behavior is perpetuated by the response to their behavior.

(For example, a dog may want food from its owner. It barks at the owner, which the owner dislikes. However, the owner gives the dog food to stop it from barking. So the dog believes the barking works, and keeps barking to get food, not knowing that its a bad behavior.

Similarly, when a harasser (or a troll) bugs a person, the person may blow up at the harasser. However, the harasser is awarded for their behavior because it got the intended response, and it perpetuates the harasser's behavior into a cycle of frustration for the person. In this case, ignoring the harasser (especially online) will prove to be more effective.)



On Facebook and other media, this situation is definitely commonplace. It's true that this is an issue, but I believe that when most people have this problem, they just didn't take the right measure to resolve the issue. Stressing about it ruins a person's day, and sometimes, a Facebook report may not be enough.

But I strongly believe ignoring works, because out of sight, out of mind, and it saves you the headache and doesn't encourage the other party from interacting with you lol.

Thanks for your views/ideas on this. My rant was largely just so I could vent in a place that I'm comfortable doing so(I actually use to do a rant series type blog thing years back and it did help me not bottle up anger/frustration).

I do wish that a simple "leave me alone" would work like it use to.