Well, the next few months will be even harder on me then when fall started.

Some of you may know that I lost my mom to cancer a week before my 24th birthday, which means it's coming up on 3 years of her being gone(Jan 27th), couple this still reasonably freash loss of a very important and pivital loved one with my depression thats caused by my being disabled at a young age(26), and not being able to spend time with my dad(Of whom I only met last year, after looking for him for 16 years), still not getting to meet my grandmother(my dads mom), and the fact that I very well may be spending the holidays(Thanksgiving, and Christmas/Yule) with my fiance's family...of whom make me feel out of place, and uncomfortable.

I know that I will be having loads of tough days ahead of me, so if you see me be frustrated please know that it's not just Sylestia stuff that is weighing on my mind...if I act out in any way its because I'm trying to cope with so much at a time when I have the most stress in my life... I will at the least need understanding, and support would be very helpful.

Now, I totally understand that some of you if not alot you here may not really care, but I wanted to at least explain things a bit in case it woudl help anyone here understand what I'm attempting to cope with.

Thanks for reading

LDDarcWolf

I'm so sorry to hear about all that and I hope things get better for you.

<3 Aaron

Hiya! Now, I'm not the most talkative of peoples, but I wanted to say that I know what it's like to feel like the odd one out when in the company of the significant others' family. My husbands' family doesn't like me and I don't like them. Just be brave and be yourself! If they don't like it they can kiss your hiney! :D

Thanks so much Aaron for your support. :) <3

Nice to know I'm not the only one here that's had that problem. It's mostly his mom that i have trouble with, and having come from a smallish family really large family gatherings are really out of my comfort zone.
But I'll do my best.

oh god I know the feeling when you are going from small family to LARGE family.

I come from a very very very small family that is rather scattered. My bf's family, however, is deeply rooted in the south - and it's very, very large. My family gatherings have 40 people max. There's has like. 100. And that's just ONE of the family gatherings. They go to 4. For 4 different branches of the family. And I'm invited to them and I go and it's just like O.O How 'bout I just go curl up in the corner with my bf and read?
>.< I'm going to have to go to one of their biggest ones... december 6th? My bf's parents are awesome - but their extended family I really could care less about.

Well. That's not entirely true. I don't care about the twice removed 500th cousins. I'll care about aunts/ uncles that I've met before.

anyways, my point is that I sympathize.

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone Keanai. I just am use to more personal style family gatherings, not family party style gatherings...and due to my PTSD/Panic Disorder I really don't do well in large group settings, nor do I do well around people I don't know. I basically be come a flighty litte rabbit in those situations, but this time will be different because I have my daughter, and the relitives will want to see my daughter the whole time....and I'm very protective of my baby girl, so I really don't know how well I'm going to do this time. But I'll try my best to keep in mind that I have friends that understand how I feel.

**hugs tightly**

Thanks for the hugs. :)

*hugs* Just remember that being overprotective of your daughter now and in the future may lead to a lot of pain. Relax a bit, and remember they aren't trying to hurt her. I understand that PTSD and Panic Disorder can influence a lot, but when it comes to them wanting to see your child, that IS something you will have to try very hard to reign in... because once your daughter becomes a teenager, if you are overprotective then, it will cause her to disrespect, disobey anything you say, and possibly scorn and shun you. Speaking from what I've seen. I'm not old enough to have a child, but I've seen how females with overprotective parents have ended... and it's not pleasant. At best, it won't affect them. Usually, though, it will generally cause your child to be very closed-minded about things at the very least.