Forum Index > Other Fiction > The Song of the Siren
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Coradrawa
Level 60
Trickster
Joined: 6/7/2013
Threads: 154
Posts: 6,643
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 7:30 AM
Post #1
Hush, hush dear child
Your eyes are wide
Your heart is pounding
But don't scream
Hush, hush dear child
May I comfort you with my song
Let your eyes close
Hush, hush dear child
No harm may come to you
Not while my song is here
Not while I am singing
Not while I am here
Hush, hush dear child
Soften your sobs and screams
Let your wide eyes shut
May your head tilt back
If you do
Fear
Sadness
Anger
Shall all disappear
Coradrawa
Level 60
Trickster
Joined: 6/7/2013
Threads: 154
Posts: 6,643
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 7:31 AM
Post #2
This is not meant to be scary but sad
This story evolves around a child in a car crash with his mother singing to them before they die
Please leave comments!
Crystal25152
Level 66
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 8/31/2013
Threads: 365
Posts: 8,887
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 9:28 AM
Post #3
*cries* 8/10
Coulda used some better words, but really good!
Sarahbug1020
Level 39
Fancy Pants
Joined: 11/13/2013
Threads: 17
Posts: 2,371
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 9:49 AM
Post #4
Some places were iffy and I don't think you should have used hush, hush dear child as much as you did. You could have mixed it with something else... I really liked it though. Some parts sent chills up my spine like when she told the child to relax and close his eyes. I Would give it... 7/10...
Coradrawa
Level 60
Trickster
Joined: 6/7/2013
Threads: 154
Posts: 6,643
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 11:14 AM
Post #5
thanks you two :3
I'm not that great at doing sad things so I understand a 7/10 Sarah XD
Crystal25152
Level 66
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 8/31/2013
Threads: 365
Posts: 8,887
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 12:21 PM
Post #6
Er' your welcome?
Coradrawa
Level 60
Trickster
Joined: 6/7/2013
Threads: 154
Posts: 6,643
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 12:23 PM
Post #7
XD :3
Crystal25152
Level 66
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 8/31/2013
Threads: 365
Posts: 8,887
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 12:45 PM
Post #8
Uh... Cora... Help me? o.o"
Coradrawa
Level 60
Trickster
Joined: 6/7/2013
Threads: 154
Posts: 6,643
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 1:12 PM
Post #9
Um...help you with what?
Crystal25152
Level 66
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 8/31/2013
Threads: 365
Posts: 8,887
Posted: 5/17/2014 at 1:23 PM
Post #10
You know for UAN (Upon a Night) I asked how to bring Cosmo back to life? Well, I just forgot....remembered at Episode 78 of Sonic X, Shadow used Chaos Control to save everyone, but he disappears...so...I need to bring him back. Any ideas?
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