Just Another Day


Avia sat up slowly in her bed, her blanket falling away to expose her skin that wasn't covered by a tank top. The breeze from her open window sending chills up her spine. Outside, the weather was starting it's transition from Winter to Spring. Letting out a small, agitated sigh, she glanced over at her alarm clock that read 2:52 in the morning. She had to get ready for school in four hours, but she was unable to go back to sleep. She could hear her neighbors in the attached apartment above hers, shuffling around and getting ready for the day.

Kicking her legs out from under the blanket, Avia crawled out of bed and over to the window. Woods sit behind her apartment and she often spent hours at her window looking out into them. Sliding open her screen, she stuck her head out and took in a gulp of air. The night had always smelled different to her, better in a way. She wondered if it was because most factories and business stopped running at night. Rolling her head to try to loosen her muscles (after a rough night of sleep) she propped her body against the window sill and looked out into the night.

Avia wasn't sure at first, but she thought she saw a shape of a person leaning up against her favorite oak a few feet in the woods. The figure looked small and slinky. Every time she squinted her eyes to get a better look, it would move and she would blink, messing up her concentration. She had a feeling that the figure was watching her. Goosebumps crept up her arms and she took a step back from the window while still watching the figure. As she continued to watch there was no doubt that the figure was slinking towards her.

Avia slammed the window shut and flipped the locks. Her imagination was running wild and the thought of the figure lunging out of the woods and crawling through her window kept running through her mind. She knew it was silly and she was probably just transforming the shadow of the tree into a person but taking a deep breath, she closed her blinds and walked the six feet to her bedroom door. She was still slightly upset that she got stuck with the smallest room of the apartment. It could barely hold her dresser and ed. She even believed that her closet was bigger then her whole bedroom.

(Everyone I pinged, please tell me how to improve my story...)

(Pretty good... Just change 'Woods sit behind her apartment and she often' to 'Woods sat behind her apartment and she often...' XD)

Watch your repetition of words. In the paragraph describing the shadow, you use slink, figure, and watching quite a few times. It's pretty good, though :)

I kinda agree with Lakarr and Crystal...

A very good story overall but perhaps you can improve by describing Avia with her looks.Unless this is near chapter two or is one of the stories where the charwcter's looks are not told so people's imaginations can imagine their looks.

You did amazing, bro! All I found wrong was the part in parenthesis. I would suggest you find a way to fit that into your story naturally. I feel it breaks the narrative. Otherwise, great!

This is good, a little choppy at places and a bit awkward in others but it's got some very strong points to it. When I get home from classes I'll explain more and likely pm you a few suggestions if I get a chance. Overall though it makes me want to know more about the character an the story line.

Hry Sarah, ill PM you some...stuff after school. XD I have a few words you could use, I bet. XD