Granted, but you're not supernatural, you're just super... natural, normal, average.

I wish I remembered to drink water more than every other day

granted, but now its constantly on your mind: it is your one obsession. If someone were to look inside your head, all they'd see is a rotating bottle of water.

I wish I wasn't so addicted to video games lol

[honestly that's probably healthier than my current relationship with water]

Granted, now you're absolutely revolted at the thought and so much as looking at a game makes you dry heave.

I wish my hair was shorter [ear length... but not a bowl cut or bob] and was fluffier. very specific. i want a good hair day for gods sake

Granted, but your hair is WAY too fluffy you can't see.

I wish for a nice raven.

Granted, but turns out the raven has a one-second life capacity. Great.

I wish for unlimited ice cream.

Granted, but as a result the universe is now exclusively ice cream; unable to support life. As it continues to expand, it's still just. . .ice cream. It will never be the same.

I wish for a really good pancake.

Granted, but you are now only able to eat pancakes, nothing else.

I wish for a pond of koi carp.

You got a pond of koi carp
Not that you can get access to it. Its on someone elses property and the owner is a crabby old woman

I wish for my allergies to go away

Granted, but they're just on vacation. They come back worse every weekend.

I wish for a dog

congrats here's a stuffed dog

i wish for the weather to make up its mind