I wasn't really fully there mentally, I was kind of stressed Real Life, still is...
I had impossible hours that made me quite tired and I slacked much on some things, sorry.
I wasn't trying to avoid anyone, I was just trying to do the minimal and go rest, because everything is making me so stressed right now, that I tried to avoid getting more by taking care of everything I had to on Sylestia...

I think I own excuses to many, but don't ask me who... I'm not even able to remember where I was last time I really "was on", things are mostly fuzzy, so if I doesn't remember you, it's nothing against you, only the strongest marks stayed.

I'm working hard to stay "cool" here, but it's harsh.
This week, I only work 3 days... I'm suposed to be a full-time worker... See the problem?
I've been having trouble with my hours since a while, but never as terrible as this week.

So if you see mistake with my Grammar, please, I don't want to hear it right now, I normally love to, but for this Thread, please don't, you can on any other thing I ever post, but not this one, the last thing I want, is to be remembered how much I fail, I already feel... well not so well and not so "awesome" right now.
I don't need more things that make me feel : Look you failed there too!

Why must people must think that because I like to be kind and work hard, not like most of our employee, I'm some kind of maid-like-thing that is not worth it?
I don't freaking understand, because, I work hard, I actually work hard on putting a smile for even the most terrible Clients and those who sometime even steal stuff(mostly food since I work at McDonald's), are still working, slakers still got hours and don't get punished for it and when I do something "not good enough" I get THIS?

What I did to the world?!
I don't know, but sometime, it's hard... to try to work hard, when the world's ugly.

And because it is, I have hard time coming on Sylestia, not because it is ugly, because it's so pretty, I do not want to come around when I'm so mad, I could break stuff, because I do not like the me that want to hit people, I hate it, but when I'm hurted, I scream, I'm irritable and I have to hold myself hard to not even hit people.
Because when my heart hurts, I can become a terrible person and I do not wish for you guys to have to face that.
If I'm just sad, it's kind of fine, but if I'm mad, I'll be away, far away from this keyboard.
You guys don't deserve my anger, if I ever say something bad, I might not even realize it, so if I do, tell me, but know this : I'm sorry and I always say stupid things, rarely true, when mad.

Thanks if you took the time to read this, I needed it out... Because, I can't really just scream it out loud right now, I don't even have much Strenght, too tired, I would just cry, so it must be out or I can't continue on my day without thinking about crying in a corner because of my pityful life, since I can't stand for myself and just go see a psy, get result of whatever my brain have, then work on it like a big girl, then find a REAL job that won't become this horrible to me...

Nothing to be sorry for, you are working hard and coping the best you can. That is admirable.
If Sylestia is an outlet that makes you feel happier, then use it!

Hope things brighten up

Thanks Tap~ :3
Sylestia is always the place I like to go when I feel nice, because I don't want to give all my anger out on you guys, none of you deserve it~ ^-^

*Whacks* No, bad Shee! No apologizing for Crap that's out of your control! See, It's like this, Sometimes life likes to test people, to see if they're sincere. And, while the tests sometimes become a bit of a high tax, keep going! Because when life throws such a test on you, it means it wants to see who's deserving of an amazing thing! And you, You amazing person you, just need to hold out and wait for Life to give you your reward!!
*Hugs* And before i forget lol, If you ever want to do nothing but scream and rage and throw a tantrum, Feel free to take a load off by me. I may be young, but I can dish out a s*** load of wisdom if needed lol:)

Why apologize for that :O I hope things get less stressful for you. -hugs-

Well I just met you earlier today and I think you're pretty chill.

Relax, life will throw stuff at ya. Sometimes we catch it, something it clocks us in the face. Wipe it off, keep on moving. :)

Shee,

this is my motto for most things when I try to acquire things, such as my full forum game staves collection [bragging ohohoho], but sometimes I don't achieve anything even when I work hard. That's when I start to think the world's ugly [out of pure greed, of course lol] but then I remember to work harder next time, and my efforts and hard work go into the next thing.

[BlahIsuckatgivingadvice] But the point is, you can never please everyone. Heck, I please nearly no one when I brag xD [Titled, "Le Boaster/Greedy Troll" 8D] so I guess I just really want to shout out to you that I want you to show those rude customers, and those slackers, as well as those horrible people who would think you're 'not good enough', I want you to show them what kindness really is. And I'm not talking about those sugar coated smiles, I want you to show them kindness - as hard as a meteorite/comet can destroy earth. I'm very happy you let it all out - I hope you find more than enough happiness by working hard :>

Hey! Everyone has their ups and downs! Don't you even try to blame yourself! It'll all blow over soon! I've had bad times. Everyone has had stressed times. Everyone has had happy times, too. Just take some deep breaths and calm yourself down! It'll be better soon. Sometimes I feel like the world has turned upside down and I want to yell and scream forever, but it's OK. If yelling and doing other things help, do it! If it gets all that bad stuff out, do it!

Sheechwan,

Sometimes life is hard and a "tough up and work through it" is not enough to help. Feel free to come to your friends at Sylestia and let some things out. It is not you, from what I know you are amazing and you are kind and very helpful. If someone tells you that you are worthless or a piece of junk, remember that, that is not true. You are special and unique. Everyone has some problems but don't let it get the best of you. Sometimes crying to yourself will let you feel refreshed, but while it is good sometimes to let go, remember that you also need to keep pressing forward, you can do it I know you can. Love you, and take your time
~Marsandin

Chi :
Thanks, it's just I feel that this "test" is quite hard on me and I will end up failing if I don't see any good results... T.T


Cerberus :
I'm a naturally stressed person, so when something give me stress, I handle it bad sadly. =/


Black :
Thank you~ :3
I never thought I was "chill" toward life, but if you say so~ XD


Star :
Thank you Star, it's really hard for me to express myself.
At least Real Life, I might look very social here, but I have high trouble just starting to talk to somebody when it's outside of the Net...
Which make Act of Kindness even harder to produce, even if when they happen right, I'm happy~ :3

And about your Motto : It's a bit what I'm trying to be doing, yet sometime I don't feel what I do will actually do a thing when I do it non-stop for more than a year and nobody seem to care... =/


Crystal :
I just doesn't like when I yell stupid things, especially to my boyfriend.
The good thing is that he know what I'm like and know that I just feel terribly bad inside, but that doesn't stop me from feeling sad from saying the most horrible things~ T.T


Mars :
It's just that the way I receive it, it feel like I'm junk to some.
I do try hard, but I do feel some people can't even realize that I do work hard and it feels like I actually didn't worked enough hard or maybe I should try elsewhere, but I'm so scared to go to new places(so look for another job), that I'll never be able to get a new one, at least not without good help and sometime, I hate being depending on others.
I always been before and I'd like it to change and be able to make my own choice, even if hard sometime... Especially when you're scared of people too... o.o"


To all :
Thanks for your words~ ^-^
It please me to read all of your answers~ :3
I wished you all lived close to me, I would all go hug you right now~ X3