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Forum Index > Off-Topic Discussion > Neon's Book
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Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:23 PM Post #1
So I'm a fan of writing stories and not finishing them, but this one I've been working on is actually special to me. I'm making this thread to share it to anyone else who wants to read it, and to who wants to give me critique so I can keep improving it.
Heads up: I hate the starting paragraph in the prologue, so I'm probably gonna rewrite it sometime depending on when I'm actually motivated


This story is a WIP. I started writing this on August 22nd, 2019. Please do not post, if you wish to give me critique or anything, please send me a PM instead of posting.
Edited By NeonNy on 7/24/2020 at 2:40 PM.
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:23 PM Post #2
We Are No Different From One Another




Directory:

Summary

Prologue ~ 7 pages long

Chapter 1 ~ 2 pages long (For now)
Edited By NeonNy on 7/24/2020 at 2:44 PM.
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:23 PM Post #3
Summary


An unlikely friendship has sparked; I guess they really mean it when they call dogs "Mans best friend." Being forced to face a dilemma of fears through paranormal phenomenons leaves an untrustworthy amount of secrets to be spilled, even if one cannot understand one another. Just a single flash of red eyes is enough to bring David, a paranormal fanatic up to his feet while dragging his best friend, Felix, behind him. Lead on by a three-legged german shepherd and followed by a yearling pup leads to disaster. Now, "Mans best friend" is instructed to become "Mans survival friend." Sometimes, even the worst events can lead to the best outcomes, even if that includes joining up with a team of 5 dogs to fight for survival.
Edited By NeonNy on 7/24/2020 at 2:40 PM.
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:23 PM Post #4
Prologue


Some people were raised with punishment, others spoiled, and sometimes, completely ignored. Some gained new parents or step-relatives, either good or bad. But, usually, nobody opens up about it, its too much of a difficult topic to speak about, so they keep it in. From two very different backgrounds, two teenagers came together in friendship, with very different beliefs. Neither of them had any specific religion, but one of them was fascinated by supernatural stories and events. The other, more realistic and grounded down to society and disbelieving of his friends imagination.
Sitting on his bed, a young male, somewhere around the age of fourteen, kept a raven in his lap, stroking the feathers. His name was Felix, someone with black hair, slightly tanned skin and amber tinted eyes. The raven in his lap had no name, it was just a simple wild bird he had taken in after being attacked by a small feline. A small breeze came in through his window, ruffling the feathers of the resting avian along with a singular feather Felix had for an earring, a raven feather from when he first rescued a black bird. Felix was listening to the cooing animals outside in the darkness, legs hung over the side of the mattress, the peace being cut short by a ding of his phone.
On the lit up screen was a message, the contact name saying the name of his friend, David. He placed his fingers on it, sliding it closer to him over the sheets before grasping it in his hand, holding it up. Felix read the message, noticing it had a simple text.
'Heyy! Want to come over tonight? Paranormal Investigation is on in 20 minutes! Plus my mom made too much food...'
Felix now glared at it, sighing to himself before responding to the text, almost waking the raven from slumber.
'You still watch that show? I thought you were scared of ghosts.'
Not even two seconds after he sent the message, David was calling him. Felix rolled his eyes before picking up the call, holding the phone to his ear. There was silence for a few moments while the call tried to sync between the phones, stroking the raven gently where he wrapped gauze around it. The cat earlier in the day managed to rip feathers out of its wing. Randomly, when the call finally connected to Davids phone, he was already repeating the message he had sent.
'Come on, I'm not scared of ghosts anymore! Besides, you might as well come over, my mom has too much food.'
'Ugh, fine. I'll be there in ten minutes, but you better not steal all the food, we have none in our fridge.'
'Okay bye!'
David was quick to hang up the call on him, partially annoying Felix as he groaned. Gently, he held the raven cupped in his arms, unlocking a cage door and gently placing it inside. The first day he got the cage, he made sure it was safe and added new bedding each time before taking in another raven. Felix shut the door silently, leaving some food and water in small bowls with it before stepping out of his room, locking the door. He kept the key in his jean pocket, making his way down the small hallway and continuing on towards Davids house. He was walking in the colder weather, shivering from the cooler breezes, jumping as he heard a crack of thunder. Shortly following there was a torrential downpour of cold rain water.
"Great, I just walked outside, and it starts raining."
Felix quickened his pace down the darkened street, almost unable to see what was in front of him. The part of the neighborhood he lived in was too far away from the town to even be considered. Due to their lack of money, richer people referred to them as Low Dwellers for not being able to live closer to town. Felix was only walking for one minute and almost collapsed from the cold, the pounding rain blurred his vision. He quickened his pace after seeing a flash of lightning in a field.
Felix was finally at Davids front door in ten minutes time as expected. He turned the knob to open the front door and invite himself inside, but it was locked. He sighed to himself, knocking and waiting outside in the pounding rain, waiting for it to be answered. Two minutes passed and he knocked again, listening to voices come from inside. He simply waited, still shivering from the cold.
David! Why is the door locked? A feminine voice called.
Mom! Didnt you hear there was supposed to be an alien invasion tonight?
Felix recognized both voices from inside, the first one Davids mother, the second one David himself. Now three minutes in total had passed since he was outside, and knocked again, jolting in surprise as the golden colored knob turned. As it creaked open, he saw Davids mom standing there, greeting him.
"Oh, Felix! Did David call you?"
"Uh, yeah, he wanted me to come over and watch his show with him. Plus he said you made extra food."
"Oh, yes! Come in, you seem cold."
She recognized his shivering and how the rain soaked him.
"I'll call David down. David! Felix is here!"
Coming! David was almost immediately down on the first floor, rushing down the stairs that led to his room, "Felix! Hurry! The show starts in a minute- Um..."
Felix questioned Davids pause, but followed Davids mom to the kitchen, grabbing some of the food. It was pasta, taking a small amount in a bowl before feeling David grab a hold of his arm and drag him away. To avoid falling on the stairs, he yanked his arm away, but followed him up and into his room. Once in Davids room, he closed the door and plopped into a red beanbag, Felix sitting on the bed, still shivering.
So...what happened to your face? David asked, a serious look on his face, however, knowing his beliefs, he couldn't take it seriously.
I saved another raven from a cat and managed to hit myself in the face with the broom.
Felix had a black eye and bruised cheek, but forgot about it. He glanced over to the german shepherd in the room, lying on the bed beside him in slumber. It was Bullet, a retired police dog with only three legs. Davids father used to be a policeman before resigning after having his youngest daughter four years ago. Felix pat Bullets head, scratching his ear before taking a bite of the pasta, looking back to David.
I swear, Felix groaned in annoyance, The mayor acts like we dont exist, I couldnt see a thing, plus I was stuck outside when it began pouring.
"You didn't have to come."
"I came because I wanted food and wanted to see you get scared from your show."
Felix joked, David tossing a pillow at his face, an embarrassed expression overtaking him. Felix caught the pillow, watching David huff before turning the tv on. He already had it set on the show he loved, Paranormal Investigators. Felix grabbed one of the loose blankets on Davids bed and wrapped it around himself, his shivering slowing down. David seemed suspicious of him, but he was then focused on the show as it began playing.
'Welcome back on this Sunday night to Paranormal Investigators! Last week, we learned about a sighting of shadow people in homes and their threat! Today, we have a special guest!'
Felix wasn't paying attention to the show, just eating and petting Bullet tiredly, blanket wrapped over his shoulders.
'So, Madame Shelby, you say a few nights ago you went to investigate a crime scene. Could you explain to us what happened?' The tv blabbered.
'Oh, yes! A feminine voice exclaimed on the television, A few weeks ago, there was a crime in a town of (State) of a fire in an apartment complex. The police report states it was an accidental fire with no living victims, but I personally believe it was something else. Perhaps a ghost or monster. The room from which the fire began, they had no visible flame to start it. The most liable option would be from a cooking stove or a candle, however nobody but a young daughter was home that night. She couldn't of been more than five, but why she was left alone is all my question. Her body was found burnt and missing a few limbs.'
'Wow, really? I've never heard that side of the story, what happened next?'
'Yes, yes! I was granted permission to enter and investigate, but everything was cleaned up. It was said no police or anyone with authority had moved her body and that there were a few reports of strange shadows inside. I even felt the eerie vibe when I was there, myself. Then it struck me, there were recent murder reports in the past few months with sightings of strange figures, sometimes even caught on camera. From what I've seen in evidence clips, it seems to be an outline of a strange yet small, ragged creature. It was always surrounded by complete darkness, but with research, it turned out to be a demon!'
'No way! What was this town called?'
'(Town)! Its a pretty small town, often looked past by onlookers. But recently, its been the center of attention! With no new visitors or tourists of course, haha!'
Felix and David widened their eyes at the sound of hearing the town name. Felix looked down to David, who was in the middle of the room in his beanbag, staying on his bed at the side, noticing David tremble. With a sudden shout, Felix almost fell off the bed in surprise.
"Our town?! Felix! Do you know what this means!"
David was already up and out of the red beanbag, standing before Felix, grabbing hold on his cheeks and squishing his face.
"Could you...not?" Felix asked awkwardly.
David let go of him, looking back to the television again, the show paused as commercials began to play. Felix just sat there, following his glance before looking to Bullet, who slowly blinked his eyes awake, yawning. Bullet perked his ears, watching the two teenagers stare at each other before him, tilting his head. David gasped, moving Felix's head to look him in the eyes and away from Bullet, who leapt down from the bed and stretched.
"I have an idea! We could be paranormal investigators! Bullet can join too!" David exclaimed.
"Uh, you sure? I mean, demons and ghosts aren't real."
"No! They are! Didn't you hear what she said? That demon was in our town! That fire last week is only a few streets away!"
"Sure, lets say we do that. Its not like we can walk there, it was already bad walking here from my house.
Hmph, true."
Felix turned his head as David spread his arms out and flopping down onto his bed, managing to strike Felix in the chest and knock him down with him. He lifted his head, Bullet resting his chin on Felixs knee before getting affectionate pats on the head, making him pant happily. With another gasp, Felix jolted, David pushing himself up.
"I have an idea!"
"Again?" Felix muttered.
"Yeah, and dont worry! We wont be out in the rain!"
"So were staying inside?"
"Heheh..."
David rubbed his hands together like a villain in a cheesy movie. Felix stood, leaving his room and closing the door, Bullet walking beside him. Felix hurried down the steps, noticing Davids mother typing away on a computer, square glasses pushed down on her nose. She had a serious look on her face until noticing him, immediately smiling and warming up.
"Oh! You can just put the bowl in the sink, I'll clean it later!" She said cheerfully.
"A-Are you sure? It isn't much of a hassle for me to clean it myself."
"Are you kidding? Its fine! Besides, you're like a child to me! Just enjoy your time with David!"
Felix nodded, placing the dish in the sink and returning, wrapping his arms around her to show his appreciation, to which she chuckled to. Felix walked upstairs again, noticing Bullet wait for him, eagerly waiting to go down the steps. Felix noticed and smiled, getting up to the last step and wrapping his arms around Bullet, one under his chest and one around his waist. He took the canine down the steps, gently placing him down, surprised he could even pick up the 70 pound german shepherd. As Felix turned, David plummeted into him, knocking him to the floor and hitting his head on the ground, David hitting his forehead too.
"Ow...could you not do that next time?" Felix muttered in pain, moving his hand over his forehead, David still flopped on top of him.
"I didn't mean it! I hit my head too!"
"You barely touched the ground, you made me take all the pain."
Felix struggled to sit up, nauseous and waiting for it to go away, shoving David off him. David was now sitting on the floor, watching him before looking to Bullet, who wobbled over on his three legs. Bullet bumped his head into Felix's chest before licking his hand, as if to take the pain that lingered. Davids mom peered from around the corner, watching the three before piecing together what the loud thud was. She noticed Bullets movements as he began licking Felix's face, who pushed him away gently.
"What happened?" Davids mother asked to secure her theory.
I brought Bullet down the stairs and David fell on top of me.
David looked to his mother guiltily, placing his palm on Bullets head, rubbing it as he panted happily. David wrapped his arms around Felix's waist, pulling him up to his feet forcefully before letting go and walking to his front door. Beside it was a blue prosthetic dog leg, slightly see through with wiring. Bullet padded over and sat, David kneeling down and strapping the fake leg on, two large and stretchy bands going behind where his leg would be, and the other slipped over his head and on his shoulders. They didnt restrain him, just made it much easier for him to move around, Felix stumbling over as his nausea dissolved.
Come on!
David grabbed Felix by the wrist, opening the front door and running outside with his friend and dog. Bullet barked happily in the rain before they all retreated to the large, wooden dog house, listening to the pounding rain. It was still cold enough to make Felix shiver, jolting when David hugged him, cold himself. Felix glanced over to Bullet, who lied down at the entrance with his back to the outside, shielding them from the cold that didn't seem to bother him. Felix heard the sound of thunder, looking over towards David nervously, who pulled away from the hug and lied down, head beside Bullets front leg. Felix remained sitting up, the shivering slowly going away after some time again.
"Calm down, you wont get struck by lightning again like two years ago." David yawned.
"You don't know that, and just so you know, getting struck by lightning almost killed me."
Felix responded with a partially harsh tone in his voice, of course in a joking way. Bullet thumped his tail on the wooden floor of the doghouse, Felix reaching his arm forward and scratching the canines thigh before taking his hand back. Ever since two years ago when Felix was struck by lightning, he hated going out in thunderstorms in fear it would happen again. David shuffled his head, looking to Felix before scratching Bullets neck fur happily, quickly dozing off into slumber.
Three hours had passed since they first went out into the doghouse. Felix had fallen asleep, but jumped awake each time he heard a crack of thunder, fearing the spot they were in would be on fire from the wood. Felix yawned, staying awake and grabbing onto Davids arm, slightly shaking him until he awoke.
"Hmm?" David asked tiredly, sitting up.
David let out a yawn before rubbing his eyes and watching Felix for a few moments, Bullet also awake by the time they both woke. It was still pounding rain outside, the ground sloshing when a squirrel ran past on it, acorns stuffed in its cheeks. Felix watched David as well, who slightly winced when seeing Felix's black eye and bruised face.
"I should probably go back home soon, my dad should be home in a few hours."
"But its midnight, what time does he usually get back?"
"Three or four in the morning, then he leaves at ten in the morning, so most of the time I'm home alone."
David stared at Felix in surprise before sitting up beside him, looking to Bullet, who got up and trotted outside. Bullet went towards a tree, lifting his leg while David and Felix looked to each other.
"Why does he come home so late?"
"Work, I'm guessing."
"Oh."
David averted his gaze from his friend, watching Bullet sniff the tree before walking back towards the doghouse. There was a flash of lightning, lighting up the entire area, Bullet beginning to bark. Seconds later, thunder rumbled, almost scaring Felix. David tilted his head similar to how an animal would when they were confused, watching the old tree in his vision. A few minutes passed when another flash of lightning lit up. Bullet let out a short howl and ran off, barking. David widened his eyes when watching the tree, grabbing onto Felix's shoulder and shaking him.
"Felix! Did you see that?"
"Huh? See what?"
"A shadow! There was a shadow on the tree with red eyes! It had the shape of the demon on the show too!"
"You mean that show we left not even five minutes into?"
"Shut up."
"Whatever, are you sure it wasn't just any shadow?"
"How would it have red eyes? Demons"!
Felix rolled his eyes, but fell on his face when David dragged him forward to run out of the doghouse. He crawled out, his face stinging in pain again, looking up to see David walking to the tree. Felix looked around, beginning to worry and widen his eyes, seeing a black and brown splotch disappear.
"No, Bullet!"
Felix was chasing after the canine, stumbling but managing to keep himself standing. David heard him and turned his head, gasping before chasing after him. Felix was glad the street David lived on was closer to town, where they actually had street lights, losing sight of the dog, but following the barks. He was huffing for air, almost collapsing once slowing down, at the very edge of the town where cars sped around. David finally caught up to Felix, looking around before pointing.
"There! Bullet!"
Felix saw where David pointed, running across the street and finding Bullet, pouring rain. He was standing beside a bench, Felix walking closer to Bullet and bending down to grab his collar. David ran over, panting and stroking the dogs wet coat. Felix saw a dark ball of fur, kneeling down as he found a young dog cowering beneath a wooden bench who shuffled back.
Edited By NeonNy on 8/7/2020 at 11:30 AM.
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:24 PM Post #5
Chapter 1


The small dog was wandering through the streets, headlights from vehicles making the rain blinding. A swift charge across the street could've been enough to end it all, but instead she remained in a parking lot. Sheltering beneath a truck was enough to warm her, the cooling engine still enough to emit warmth. Her name was Jet, and she was a young husky, around the age of a year, with white fur that was stained with gas and dirt, appearing to be black pelted. She was rather small and often mistaken for a different dog breed, when people actually cared to notice her.
Jet was alone on the streets for most of her life and struggling for survival, but recently was surprisingly well fed. Perhaps because it was winter, and people were less aware of their surroundings, or maybe they were just clumsy. Jet never understood how they worked, every time the white flurries came down, they would just fall. Have they ever thought of stretching their paws to understand the environment? Obviously not.
Around the streets would normally be nothing but a lingering dog scent, fading away every day. All the iced, falling crystals didn't help it to stay, as she was curious to find out whose it was. A male dog, obviously, but a stray. Perhaps he was adopted, or taken away by animal control, or maybe, he gave up. The thought of death made Jet shiver, especially when the topic was about a stray dog like her.
The day before, Jet had set out on a mission to discover who this dog was, or at least find his home. All the scents around town lead to one place, an alleyway between two apartment complexes. But ever since the air was filled with smoke, there were large crowds of people gathered around, which scared her away every time without fail. Humans holding heavy cameras on their shoulders and speaking loudly, almost shouting. She was never a fan of crowds, or anyone, for that matter.
With a quick shake of her head, she was brought back to the present, shivering beneath the wooden bench. The rain was still pelting down, but why wouldn't it be? Jet was interested in why the german shepherd was there, but when noticing the two boys, she backed away. Bullet sat and tilted his head down at her, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he began panting. David noticed Jet and took a step forward, which spooked her into almost racing into the street. Felix looked to his friend, kneeling down and putting the back of his hands towards the canine.
"Wait, Felix! What if they bite you?" David exclaimed, expressing worry for him.
"Well, you were about to do the same thing, weren't you? "
A moment of silence passed.
"Come here, its okay."
Felix spoke in a soft tone, rubbing his two fingers together as if to get her to come closer. David glew up with an idea and removed a small, crinkly bag from his pocket. Felix watched as David handed him a small treat from the bag over to him, taking the snack into his grasp. Watching the small dog shuffle closer, Felix and David watched curiously, along with the three-legged german shepherd. Jet opened her mouth to grab hold of the food, hesitating for a moment, before snatching it out of his hand and scurrying beneath the bench again. Jets head bowed down to the ground where she gobbled up the small treat, licking her lips before her gaze wearily rested on the bag again.
Bullet was also interested in the bag, eyeing it before noticing the look it had gained from the stray. The german shepherd wagged his tail before using his canines and carefully grabbing the treat bag from Felix's hands and padding over to the cowering dog. He dropped the bag before her paws, bringing himself low to the ground and shuffling forward, hiding from the rain with her. Jet sniffed the bag and pulled it back, jolting when feeling the shepherds cold and soaking pelt right beside her before she nudged herself away. David now knelt down beside his friend, shivering from the cold downpour that pelted against his face.
There was something comforting about the german shepherd, maybe since he had found her, or that he stole the treats from Felix's grasp to bring it to her. But what really caught Jets attention was the bag full of snacks, and its crinkling when David took hold of it and opened the bag. Slightly shaking it onto his hand, treats spilled out into his palm until he dropped them in front of the black stray. Bullet waited patiently for his share, partially disappointed when his owner only gave him one. Jet glanced over to the dog beside her before hogging her treats, dragging her long tongue across them all before they were all swooped up into her mouth. David was the one to break the silence amongst the pounding rain.
"I still want to go find the demon."
Felix turned his head to his friend, "Seriously? You're shivering from the cold rain and you honestly want to go somewhere rather than home?"
"What are you talking about? The rain is supposed to stop in less than an hour anyway. Besides, if its about something supernatural, I wont be cold anymore!"
"Yeah...right." Felix didn't believe him.
Bullet perked his head up to the young teenagers, tail thumping on the hard concrete. The shepherds mouth opened to allow room for him to pant happily, paws scrambling beneath him. He left the shelter of the bench and stood in the rain, itching for adventure. Bullet turned his head back to Jet, as if she were now a friend, his friendly look inviting her to join them. David leapt up to his feet, taking his friend by the arm and yanking him up until he stood, a determined glimmer in Davids eyes. His friend let out a sigh, already knowing where this situation was going.
"Oh, I know where we can find that demon!" David exclaimed.
"We?" Felix asked.
"You're coming with me, like it or not. Were going to Raven Peak Forest!"
"Raven Peak Forest? That's almost a 20 minute walk from here. Besides, I still need to get back home before my dad is home from work."
"Stop worrying so much Felix, well only be there for a few minutes."
Bullet perked his ears and barked happily, bowing down with his tail waving back and forth. He always loved going on walks there, but this time it would be with only David and Felix, and at midnight. David hooked his arm around Felix's before walking ahead, waiting for him to stop struggling. Jet lifted her head and watched, Bullet was bounding after the two as they began walking. She grew curious, but did not leave where she was until they were far enough away.
Edited By NeonNy on 7/24/2020 at 2:57 PM.
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:24 PM Post #6
Rsv
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:24 PM Post #7
Rsv
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:24 PM Post #8
Rsv
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:24 PM Post #9
Rsv
Ne0nNy
Level 70
Trickster
Joined: 7/13/2019
Threads: 92
Posts: 1,190
Posted: 7/24/2020 at 2:24 PM Post #10
Rsv
 
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