I cannot talk to anyone in real life about my problems, because all they know is the old me... All they know is the crazy, insane girl that does weird jokes and ships people and annoys everyone...

what they don't know is the actual truth... who i really am... so i wanted some help, i know all has their problems but all i want is an answer.

People make rumors about me
"Beliz killed him, Beliz killed her" BUT ITS NOT TURE! and nor have i ever said these things

"Beliz's father is in jail" no... he is working so hard to get money for my family.

"Beliz did this, she is a monster"

"You were never my friend"

And what they cannot see is how they break me, even if all these things might be fun for them to say... And i act like i dont care, they dont know how im screaming inside.

I want to tell them but they say all i want is attention.... I cannot stop, if you think i am doing this for attention too... i hope you have a good life at least...

If any of you can tell me how i can just get rid of bad feelings like Jealousy, Revenge and more... i want a normal life, not pretend that i am something i am not!

And i know one day everyone will leave me but why do i try? Why do i still think of them as friends... because its human nature... they dont know what we feel inside..

I am sorry if this is more depressing~ And i am sorry but i want to see who knows how to be a better person.

Wow. I am sorry those people are so cruel. You seem like a good person to me (I liked the jokes on your page). Honestly I have no real advice for being a good person and getting rid of thos negative emotions because my go to response to things I am not supposed to feel is to shove them down a dark hole and put on a mask so...

Other people have told me to make friends with people who make you want to be a good person. Or leave the negative environment but that isnt always and option. On your page you said that you draw, you could try drawing out your feelings to help with the negative emotions, it sometimes works with me.

I am sorry if this was not helpful but I couldnt not try to give some (probably flawed) advice.

Thank you so much! it was very helpful, I will try drawing... but you know it is not really easy to just leave that negative thoughts and put on a mask, it makes me tired and i lose sleep... basically after growing up i thought people would be mature, but i guess not! still being racist towards me and making rumors everyday. Saying i suck at this and that, making me very annoyed. I try to be a new person but when i try they just ask me
"whats wrong Beliz? did you change your mind on annoying us today"
or
"Hahaha, Loser"

but really, thank you! i will draw out my emotions and maybe draw for people!