I think I need to have this said for those who roleplay with me. I have lost a lot of my motivation and I've been very depressed... I used to feel so much better but now everything is crashing down. I have hidden it long enough now and I guess now is the time to say something to everyone. It always hurts internally or I'm always somber in mood.

I'm so very sorry... I wish I could be like I used to but that's a hollow wish and will always be one......... I've lied long enough trying to act okay... I'm sorry... This isn't meant to be sad if it is.

There are times when I find all I am doing futile and that... Even if I tried it may never change and I'm so sorry I never said anything before but I just began feeling so much worse. It hurts almost always now... I'm breaking...

This is how I feel sometimes... Yes it's a song by Bts called Save me. It hurts how it aches when it's somber love songs I feel relate to me.

(forgot to ping)

Don't Worry about us. You take care of yourself ^.^ you know I'll always be here if you need someone to talk to.

Thanks. It is nice to hear...

hey, i am actually going to be a psychologist when i grow up and i may be a help with my experiences...

I am very sorry to hear you are depressed, and i feel the same way. Hiding away what is really inside you and only putting a smile is hard and a very tiring satiation.... but remember i am here, and some people are here for you! you know what always make me feel better, concentrating on what is happening and the joy of being alife!

some years ago this was me

Q: what is your fave song?
A: i dont have one... they are meaningless

Q: what do you want to be when you grow up?
A: nothing, i will die anyways

Q: What is your fave color?
A: Nothing, they are only different types of lights reflecting to our eyes and there are millions of colors we cant see so i dont care....

Everyday, when i woke up i asked my self "why am i alife? why cant i just die already"
One day the realization hit me like stone... it was hard and painful, "I am here only to acomplish one goal, Being who i can be to make the best for this world even if one day this will end"

But we dont really know what will happen next, we are on a small rope, if we fall we fail the test.

And now i know, Life can be full of cow poop, but if you just open up ypur eyes, look on the bright side! no negativeness A positive comment about your self everyday... one day we all can put the real smile on our faces.

I also write short notes to who ever makes me sad or angry, than shred it in a shredding machine or rip it in small pieces so i can get rid of my bad thoughts! and again when ever you feel down! i am here to pick you or everyone up ^^

Thank you soooo much.

haha! no worries! We are all human beings after all and we should help each other survive as long as we can

Yeah. The only reason I keep going anymore is that I don't want to put others down with my problems but I know if I do something stupid and hurt myself that I will never hear the end of it from them all.

I believe that there is a better world our there, no bad people! So i keep looking for where i belong, And never hurt your self, i know because a lot of times i cut my self... until i couldnt feel pain anymore, but than the truth was... i was just scared! scared of the end... never turning back again. I only looked for answers but you cannot find these answers easily! life is not a book you can go to the front page and see when it was created or any citations. Life is a test that you need to create the answer you are looking for...

Ignore who ever makes you sad, just go to your dream world and get lost in happy thoughts!

Even acting crazy is only hifing your heart breaks... because all i do is make a fool of my self in class or where ever i am to make others happy and never think about my own needs... I call this sacrafice but other people call it seeking for attention!

It always hurts so much telling people and there I times when it's just me forcing myself to get up. To go to school. To get out of my room. I really want to work harder to be better... But it's getting harder than I expected.