Hi, you might know me as Sketched or even Rainbowcat.

I am a middle aged tween. And I hate my mother.
I need advice on how to fix this, and make my life better.



Example of what goes on:

Her telling me i don't do anything around our house and how lazy I am.
Even though I help as much as I can, and when I'm asked.

I can't do a chore without being asked.
Or I get yelled at because I'm not doing the right chore.

She wants me to be perfect and just like her
An example is that I don't like mushrooms and she yells at me when I don't eat them, and threatens to put them in my breakfast. Or she wants me to do everything for her, like do the dishes 24/7 or do laundry.

I can't do what I want without being told to do something useful.

She won't get me things that I need.

She makes me feel like crap when I don't do something or I don't do it right

She thinks that I'm weird and fat.

She blames me for EVERYTHING.




I can't talk to her about how I feel without her crying and being all, "Oh poor me!" When she tells me I cant be all poor me.

I don't trust her at all. And hate talking to her.


Like, she grounded me for a month because I didn't like spaghetti.


So, please help.

Ps my mom made me fall into mild depression.

Alright, I think I can help. But first, a question. Where is thy father?
((I'm sorry if that's rather personal, but it could explain many things))

I had a similar relationship with my own mum when I was a young teen... And we still fight each time we see each other for more than two weeks (not physically of course^^, but verbally!).
She wanted me to be more like her. She was frustrated because she was very sporty when she was younger while I prefered to read or draw.
She didn't care if I had just arrived back after a long day spent in a school I hated, I had to do chores immediately. She wanted me to help with everything, basically she wanted me to be the adult at home when I was 10. She used to yell at me a lot.
She also blamed me for a lot of things... Sometimes I think she didn't even realized it.
To my mum defense, there where a lot of things she could not do by herself due to a medical condition. She loves me, and I love her. But this was not a life for a child.

What I could suggest to you is to try to keep calm when she acts like that. Maybe you could try to do the chores you don't mind doing so she'll not force you to do the ones you hate.
But, my MOST IMPORTANT advice is this one: don't listen to her if she tell you that you're weird or you should change. Be yourself. You have the right to have your own tastes. And DON'T listen if she tries to make you culpabilize for something which is not your fault. If you like something do it, if you have a talent to waste it because of her.

My dad is there, but has to go along with my mother or she whines and yells at him.
So uh

The thing is, I can't calm down.
I have anger issues, and immediately snap before I can do anything.

I'm pretty sure all mums are like that, just hold on. I could be wrong, but I've only really met two mothers and they're like that. Just hang on in there, keep your head down. They seem to calm down if you do that, don't fight, don't complain, try to act perfect. Even if it feels like you're broken, hang on. It doesn't last forever.
They're kind of.. looking for a fight in a way.

I can't. If I do that, she just yells at me. It's kind of sad really.


But hey, we made muffins so I'm good.

I guess it'll be up and downs. She's human. you're human. You're destined to fight ;3; It's a sad truth.

Destinyflight

Haha





But yes

,,,maybe I'm not fully understanding this,,, but like, I always thought this was normal? besides the grounding over spaghetti sort of thing, my mom is always yelling and fighting with me, my bro, and my dad,,, like sure sometimes my family and I deserve it, but I kind of picked up some really bad habits and things to help with the stress, and I want to stop but I don't know how to come out to her about it without her getting angry and yelling at me or hurting me (I've come to her for help before so I know how she reacts)

She also makes me feel really sad and scared about my sexuality telling me never to tell anyone at my school because they'd all bully me for being Bi but when I came out anyways they made me feel more accepted than my mom did?