Warning for cussing. At least for the first chapter. I don't know how far this will go tbh.

Chapter 1: The Boys Prepare



You have been cordially invited to


The Villain Associations First Ever


Fancy Dinner Social Party Thing


Hosted by (the beautiful, smart, sensual, gifted, talented, wonderful, cool) Ghetsis Harmonia,

at The Fluorescent Hotel of Unova, located at 42069 Mode Street, Castelia City


7:00 PM, 28th of May, 201X


Eat dinner (duh), discuss villainry, and get really drunk!!!


Wear a suit, guys!




Giovanni put down the invitation and sighed. This was the worst thing to ever happen to him in a long time. He got mail . He was invited to something. And he absolutely detested Ghetsis Harmonia and really couldn't stand the guy ever since he met him during the PWT a year or two ago.


Giovanni nearly gagged as he read the invitation. It was written in an overly fancy script and Ghetsis Harmonia took up half the page, sticking out from all the other disgustingly elegant and pretentious words with its rainbow color text and Comic Sans font. The stupid piece of paper came in an envelope sealed with what Giovanni guessed to be the Harmonia family crest. Giovanni understood that Ghetsis was filthy stinkin rich and that the money he had was inherited and never seemed to end. Giovanni also understood he could honestly never respect someone with more money than him and Ghetsis was just that someone.


He wanted to tear the invitation in half and flush it down the toilet like the load of crap it was but he didn't want to mess up the intricate plumbing of his house and also-


He was quite bored.


It's not like anyone was living with him. No one would care if he left Kanto for a night or two. All he ever did in his free time was smoke and cry into tubs of ice cream, screaming to his morbidly obese Persian and smelly Meowth about how boring life is, about how they cancelled his favorite TV drama and how It really didnt deserve that fate.


This was a wake up call.


He hated Ghetsis ************but if he could leave Kanto again, get drunk or high or both, and possibly end the night with beating up the annoying ******, he would be kind of happy. Just kind of.


So he packed his bags.




(MAY 28, DAY OF PARTY)


There was a great commotion going on in the penthouse of The Fluorescent Hotel.


Ghetsis sat in front of the mirror and blue steeled until the right side of his face began twitching painfully. His lanky, underdeveloped son was circling him, brushing his untamed mass of green curls with great effort.


"Col-ress, what are you gonna wear tonight?" Ghetsis practically sang.


Colress, who was nearby and tapping away on his phone, looked up and smiled. "You've gotta wait and see, darling, it's a surprise."


"Uhuhuhuh," Ghetsis chuckled gutturally. "That sounds so h- N!!! I'm not a Bouffalant, damn it! Are you trying to kill me, boy?!"


N winced and started gently patting the fluffy hair he held in his hand. "I'm sorry, dad, I'm sorry. I forget your hair is not a Pokemon sometimes and-"


"You forget you are an idiot," Ghetsis said (but it sounded more like you forget you are an ee-dee-ot). He waved his hand at N, dismissing him. "Piss off. Go help the grunts set up or something."


Once his hair-tearing, graceless son was gone, Ghetsis spun around in his chair, smiling as much as he could with his wonky mouth.


"I'm so excited," he said. "I-"


"You just can't hide it?" Colress whispered.


"I'm gonna meet everyone and I am going to impress them so hard," he declared, brushing out the puffs and knots N didn't bother touching. He smoothed his hair down with something slick and gross that smelled like flowers, watching with delight as those three infamous horns of hair sprung right back up accordingly. "The thing is, I'm the richest out of all of them. Richer than that new white guy with the beard. Richer than Giovanni."


"No way? There's a new white guy?"


"Yes, he has a beard and I hate him. How dare he have the audacity to copy me? To copy us?"


"What, the beard?"


"No, the fact that he's w- Never mind. Anyway, I don't know any of the other guys so there's that. It'll be a surprise meeting them."


"They're not that evil if you haven't heard of them," Colress snickered.


"True, but I have to invite them; I have to intimidate them with everything I have," Ghetsis rambled on. "They'll see how amazing I look and immediately be charmed. They'll see how I have you and be so jealous they'll listen to every word I say-"


"Aww... Thank you."


"They'll see all the grunts we have in our dungeon-"


"You are so beautiful right now," Colress sighed.


"Yes, I know. I'm perfect," Ghetsis said, staring into the mirror, the veiny sclera of his only functioning eye growing larger. "Per-fect."






Lysandre arrived at the airport in Unova wearing a handsome dark red sweater knitted by Augustine Sycamore. Big Spicy, it declared in bold yellow letters. He felt it should have said Big Baby because he was still blinking back tears at the thought of being alone in a strange region without Augustine. Who would make him perfectly milky coffee with dark syrup portraits of himself floating at the top of the cup? Who would make dinner for him? Who would wipe his ass-


LYSANDRE! a sign shouted in blocky letters.


The lion man smiled and rushed to the two fools holding the sign.


"I can't believe you guys are here!" he laughed excitedly, feeling a rare happy anxiety pulsating throughout his body.


"Us either," Maxie sighed fondly. "You look taller!"


"When was the last time I saw you guys?"


"Gaycation 2015, I think," Archie said.


"Oh." Lysandre mumbled.


Nobody brought up Gaycation 2015. It was best left forgotten.


After a long silence, the boys started heading to the Fluorescent Hotel. On the drive there, Lysandre found himself looking out the window at the crowded streets of Castelia.


"Have you ever met Ghetsis?" Lysandre asked.


"No."


"Ne'er in my life."


"Same here," Lysandre said. "I think I've heard of someone named Cold Dress who is his doctor or something."


"Ranch dressing?" Maxie repeated (or so he thought).


"He has a doctor? Just always there by his side?" Archie asked. "I guess he needs it. Giovanni told me he's the record holder for the oldest man in the world. He's 200; Giovanni told me so."


"Wow, I didn't even know people could live that long."


"He's probably going to be a little old grandpa with a mustache and a walker! With the tennis balls and everything."


The three very handsome men made a solemn vow to protect the ancient Ghetsis from threats such as falling, bingo nights and high cholesterol.


They reached the hotel (which did not impress Lysandre that much, to be honest) then went into their respective rooms.






Cyrus was sleeping in his hotel room when there was a knock at his door. This was very upsetting as he was currently wrapped up in a soft blanket burrito that took ten minutes to get in. Once he was free, he rubbed his eyes and opened the door.


It was some kid that looked like a piece of spinach. Cyrus made a sleepy little "Mmph?" and the kid nearly jumped ten feet in the air.


"Hey, I'm sorry but
IknowyoureoneofmydadsfriendsandIjustcamedowntoremindyouthatthepartyisstartingsoon-"


"Come again?"


Boy of Spinach blinked then started wringing his hands. "The p-party that my dad- uh, Ghetsis- is having is going to start in about an hour and a half."


"Oh," Cyrus mumbled. "Well, I'll be ready by then. Maybe even before that so..."


"GOOD!" the leafy green vegetable boy shouted. He ran down the hallway before turning back and giving Cyrus a really frantic look. "My name is N and there's gonna be cake!" He then sprinted off into the distance.


Cyrus stood at the door for a little while, rubbing his arms. Cyrus slammed the door, spun around and flung himself onto his messy bed.


He just wanted to nap.


(Time Of Party: 7:00 PM)


(Time of Ghetsis Arrival: Unknown)


Giovanni strode down the snazzily-designed carpeted floor, looking tired yet handsome in his black suit. His face was like one of a stubborn teenager who did not want to go on a two week long family road trip. His trembling fingers pulled at his cuff links; bright red Team Rocket Rs, shining with lacquer and possibly anxious sweat. He didnt want to show up looking so annoyed but its not like he wanted to prove anything to these losers.


What a waste of time.


He made it to the end of the hall, past a very busy lobby, and ended up standing in front of a really big wooden door that had glass panels in it. He couldn't even see inside because the useless, ******ty glass was carved with flowers and Pokemon and made everything look warbled. Giovanni, sighing, carefully opened the door and peeked into the ballroom that the party was taking place in.


There was a giant round table covered in a white sheet. When Giovanni looked up, he saw that he could see the beautiful night sky through a retracted mechanized ceiling of some sort. It was obviously a ballroom but it was also a party under stars type of thing. Giovanni decided he didn't like it.


There didnt appear to be anyone in there except-


"ANIKI!!!!!!"


Archie and Maxie, a pair of familiar faces.


Maxie was wearing a snug sweater that had an atrociously large turtleneck paired up with nice corduroy pants. Archie had a grayish blue suit on and looked very sharp- however his tie was already undone and the collar of his messily buttoned shirt was flipped up on one side. This reminded Giovanni of the golden days of Team Rocket. He'd known Maxie and Archie for a long time. Neither of them were too bright and they made a lot of ruckus but Giovanni felt relieved to see them.


"Hey, you two, it's been a while."


The two nerds wrapped Giovanni in a hug that nearly broke his spine. After a minute, he was released and began fixing his suit.


"You guys know anyone who's coming here?" he asked, adjusting his (of course) red tie.


"Yeah, we do, boss," Archie said immediately. "Don't you know anyone?!"


"No, I don't. And don't call me boss. The nineties are over."


"Boss, I beg to differ: the sweater I'm wearing is nineties vintage-"


"Oh, boss, look! Lysandre's here!"


Giovanni turned around and saw a very tall white man who was the tallest and whitest guy he'd seen in a long time. It was ridiculous. He walked over really quickly and gave Maxie and Archie kisses on the cheek like a true Kalosian then shook Giovanni's hand. It was an impressively strong handshake but Giovanni, deciding not to let the man get in over his head, overpowered him with an even stronger handshake. They smiled at each other politely and the tall fiery man began talking.


"It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. Sakaki," he said in a voice that was so deep and resonating it caused Maxie and Archie to squeak like teenage girls. He also had this dainty, fancy sounding Kalosian accent.


Giovanni wasn't as easily swayed. He just raised an eyebrow and asked, "You're Fleur-de-lis?" He certainly didnt expect the head of Lysandre Labs to be so young (and tall).


Lysandre gave a smile reminiscent of a proud Pyroar. "Yes, I am. Its my pride and genocide- I mean joy. I'm a self built man."


Giovanni thought it was absolutely horrible that Lysandre could look so sharp in a vest. His shoulder to waist ratio was terrifying. There was no reason for a human being to be so toned and V-shaped. Disgusting.


The tiny Kanto man nodded, as if he was satisfied (he wasn't). "How impressive," he said without meaning it. Then, in a move shimmering with salt, he turned away from Lysandre and began looking at the white tabletop and surrounding plush chairs for a place to sit.


Maxie and Archie continued chatting and milling around with Lysandre, who was very smug about being the most handsome man in the room. No music was playing so the banal drone of their voices was amplified; Maxie kept ending his sentences with 'Ya know what I mean?' The fact that they were the only guests who had arrived so far made it seem like they were waiting to partake in a Battle Royale-esque fight to the death. Then Giovanni heard the sound.


THOMP, THOMP, THOMP.


Had a Tyrantrum been let loose in the building? It was getting closer. Why didn't Maxie, Archie and Lysandre notice it? Giovanni shuddered. The stomps got louder and closer. Pretty soon Giovanni could hear laughter in the hallway outside the door.


The door leading into the ballroom slowly opened. Golden light coming in from the hall penetrated the darkness, somehow defying the rules of physics and landing directly on the Rocket Boss terrified face. His widened eyes focused on a thin, shadowy figure perfectly striking a Vogueing pose at the doorway. The posing shadow laughed like a 90s anime villain and declared,


"I'm here, ******es!"



This was Giovanni's worst nightmare.



Ghetsis had arrived.

Warnings for this one include cussing and alcohol. It's a bit short, because it's this weird filler-ish transition build up to the next chapter. Wait i guess that's what all chapters are anyway wtf this entire thing was pointless

"GOOD MORNING! I SAID GOOD MORNING! GOOD-" BANG!


Cyrus opened his eyes and made the kind of noise a sleeping, loafing Skitty makes when rudely awakened.


"BREAKFAST IS READY!" THUNK!


Cyrus scowled and promised to Arceus that he would try to destroy the universe and this time- for good. He rolled out of bed, adjusted his SUPER DEOXYS FIGHTER underwear, and opened the door.


Nobody was there.


Cyrus was about to shut the door when the spinach child from earlier busted into his room. The nutritious intruder was so quick, he was just a blur of green. Startled, Cyrus cried out, attempting to cover his so very long and so very exposed legs.


"What are you doing here?!" Cyrus wheezed, his voice cracking.


N was wearing a dashing waiters outfit. However his sharp getup did not help fix his messy hair and blotchy, tear streaked face. He held his open mouth in horror at the sight of that loose, ill fitting pair of SUPER DEOXYS FIGHTER underwear. "You are not even dressed?! Daddy's going to kill me!"


"Child, I command you to exit my room at once," Cyrus said in a voice that was maybe three octaves higher than his usual low drone. He stumbled over and reached for a pillow to hide behind. "I'm in a state of indecency."


"Please, sir, you need to get dressed," N sobbed, sinking to his knees. "The cake Daddy- er, Dad's gonna eat the cake just like last time. It was my birthday-"


"I'm getting dressed," Cyrus snapped. "I'm getting dressed."


"Please (sniffle) Wear a tie"



Ghetsis stood in the middle of the doorway, finger raised to the sky. When it became clear that nobody was applauding or gasping, he acquired a more normal stance and entered the room. Every step he took came with a clinking noise created by all his accessories crashing together. He walked so very awkwardly, as if there was so much of him he didn't know what to do with it.


He was accompanied by a tiny young man who, just like Ghetsis, had hair that physically made zero sense. This tiny young bespectacled man was practically hanging off of Ghetsis' right arm. To Giovanni, this was tragic. It was very like Ghetsis to bring along his trophy husband.


When Ghetsis noticed Giovanni, he gave him a ghastly smile. Ghetsis wiggled his way over toward the significantly shorter man and smacked him on the arm as if they were good old friends.


"Oh, Sakaki!" he cried (or moaned, it seemed) in a voice dripping with faux grandeur. "I haven't seen you in such a long time!"


They had only met once before.


Giovanni smiled, the pain apparent in his face. Tucked away in his blazer was an ivory switchblade. If I need to end it all, right here, right now, I will. "Yes, yes it has," he said, jaw twitching. "It's been a while since I returned to Unova."


Ghetsis put his good hand to his cold, dead heart and sniffed. "You know, your accent is getting better!"


"Ghetsis, I don't have a-" Giovanni began, but Ghetsis was already looking away.


Maxie, Archie, and Lysandre had made their way over to check out the situation. They looked confused and Giovanni knew why.


"You're Ghetsis Harmonia?" Archie said, mouth open and his toned, meaty pecs bulging through his shirt.


The charade of elegance Ghetsis was playing immediately ended and his typical guttural voice came through with a low, "That I am!"


"I didn't expect you to be not an old guy," Maxie hummed. "Well, you are an old guy, but I thought you'd be a super old guy-" He started turning red.


"Puh-lease, Mr. Matsubusa, you're such a flirt. Besides, I'm a married woman," Ghetsis joked; he then nodded to Colress, who waved at Maxie, who looked in horror at Ghetsis, who once again nodded to Colress, who waved even more at Maxie, who nearly vomited at the thought of his poorly phrased sentences being mistaken as flirting by Ghetsis, who nodded to Col-


Lysandre made a deep lion noise. "Hmm I've heard the name Harmonia before..."


That was literally all he said. That's it. He didn't even say it, he just sort of mumbled it. But apparently, Ghetsis took great offense to his words.


"UGH IT'S YOU" Ghetsis snarled. "You're that guy."


Lysandre, in that short moment, tried to think of all the things in his life he could have done to offend Ghetsis. He'd never even met the dude before. Maybe Ghetsis saw the Lord Helix worship blog he owned with Augustine? Other than that, Lysandre could not think of a single reason as to why Ghetsis was being such a cold************ to him. His life flashed before his eyes.


Giovanni placed an awkward hand on Ghetsis shoulder. He quickly drew his hand away when he felt human-like warmth instead of the initially expected temperature of a corpse during algor mortis.


"Yes, Ghetsis, this is Mr. Fleur-de-lis," Giovanni said as calmly, maturely and rationally as possible. This brought him painful flashbacks to the days Silver threw tantrums and had to be calmed down. "You might have heard of the advancements he's made for communication devices. Do you know what a Holo Caster is? Have you ever even spoken on a cell phone? Know what that is? C-E-L-L phone."


"I don't care about advancements or Homo Casters," Ghetsis said through a very exaggerated yawn. He glanced at Lysandre and scowled. "That's baby stuff compared to what Colress has done."


Archie, in an act of friendliness and love for conversation, turned to Colress and asked with a beautiful smile, "What have you done, scamp?"


"Science stuff," Colress answered, smugly.


"What kind of science?" Archie asked, obviously very interested.


"The science of ya motha."


Colress and Ghetsis exchanged terrible guffaws of laughter and right when Ghetsis was about to say something undoubtedly stupid as well, there was a tiny knock at the door to the ballroom.


The six of them turned around, shocked and surprised at the sheer audacity of someone to go and knock on their door. The door clicked and, like the pearly gates of heaven, opened to reveal an angel.


Cyrus had finally found his way to the party.


Everyone looked at him with awe. There was something strange about this man. They all felt they had to protect him somehow.


He walked over to them, tense and cautious; as if he was expecting someone to tackle him from the side. Once he joined the circle, Maxie hugged him fiercely.


"Oh, Cyrus, it's you! It's really you," he screeched. He began sobbing into Cyrus shirt.


"Hello," Cyrus wheezed.


Giovanni noted the softness of his voice. It was the only voice in the room so far that did not make him bleed from the ears.


"Do you two know each other?" Lysandre asked.


"We've been messaging each other for two years!" Maxie sniffled.


"It's true!" Archie added, enthusiastically.


"I started video chatting with him in December!"


"I was there!" Archie added, even more enthusiastically.


Lysandre smiled. "How sweet," he said in his warmest voice. "It's nice to meet you, Cyrus. My name is-"


"AAAAAAH, ENOUGH!" Ghetsis screamed. "Who cares? Shut up! I'm hungry already." He raised his good hand in the air and snapped. "FEED ME!"


The bosses all sat down at a big round table.


Ghetsis made Giovanni sit to his left, much to Giovanni's misfortune. He was the only one who was assigned a seat, apparently. However, Cyrus was sat directly across the table from him and Giovanni really wanted to study this guy from afar. He was so unusual.


A bunch of waiters tended to them, pouring them wine and plunking down very sexy looking plates of spaghetti and meatballs before them.


One waiter, who looked like they were scared for their life, was grating cheese straight from the block over Lysandre's plate.


"Tell me when to stop," the tiny waiter squeaked.


Lysandre sat back. The cheese was quickly shrinking. Lysandre closed his eyes and sighed happily. The waiter started sweating. The cheese pile was only growing bigger.


"Should I stop?" the waiter asked.


"Non."


And it went on until the waiter used up the entire cheese. Their trembling arm hovered over Lysandre's plate.


Lysandre opened his eyes, gasping at the giant pile of cheese on his plate. The spaghetti wasn't even visible anymore. He whipped his head to the side to look at the exhausted waiter.


"Why did you stop?!" Lysandre hissed.


A truly terrible man.


"Is this vegan?" Maxie asked no one in particular.


"Uh, yeah," Ghetsis lied, already unceremoniously eating.


Everyone began to feast, silverware clinking and soft happy voices exchanging words.


Sitting by Ghetsis while he ate spaghetti was like experiencing hell firsthand. Giovanni just stared into space listening to the terribly wet and chewy noises coming from the beast next to him. At first Giovanni felt kinda bad because he knew Ghetsis suffered from paralysis on the right side of his face. But then Ghetsis started moaning and saying "Aw yeah, I'm go'n nut right here- ****** my ass, this is good!" and Giovanni realized that it was perfectly okay to have suicidal thoughts when in social situations such as this one.


N, Ghetsis' timid son, poured Giovanni and Lysandre some wine.


"Hello, my name is N Harmonia and I'm your waiter and there's gonna be cake tonight so please be on your best behavior," he stated softly.


"Piss off, you're nobody's waiter," Ghetsis interjected. "I put you in charge of cleaning the bathrooms."


N wrung his hands nervously. "I already finished doing that, Daddy- um, Dad, er, Ghetsis."


"You better be telling me the truth. I'll find out when I have my massive post-spaghetti diarrhea dump."


N was dismissed and so was Giovanni's appetite. He scowled into his plate of saucy pasta, stirring it mindlessly until he stabbed a single meatball with his fork, the silver utensil sticking up straight into the air. Giovanni leaned back in his chair and grunted sulkily. He glanced ahead for a second but then found that Cyrus was looking at him.


Cyrus eyes bore straight past the erect fork, and right into Giovanni's soul. Neither of them moved for a while; it seemed like the room around them was spinning. Cyrus blinked slowly. He made this strange little face- his mouth kind of tugged to the side for a bit, but then he was distracted by Maxie's loud, unnecessary anecdote about his favorite volcano in Hoenn... and turned away.


Giovanni came back to earth and blinked.


What a strange guy.


Ghetsis and Colress were giggling and snickering and pestering N. They successfully got him to retrieve a bottle of whiskey from who knows where and, even more successfully, snatched it from his hands. Everyone had just started eating literally ten minutes ago and Ghetsis decided it was time to get drunk.


Ghetsis, like the true gentleman he is, poured Colress a good amount in his empty wine glass.


"Thanks, babe," Colress said.


Ghetsis gave him a tiny smile and then threw his head back and began chugging the bottle of whiskey as if his life depended on it. Maxie, sitting across the table and already slightly tipsy from, like, half a glass of wine, was shaking his finger in Ghetsis direction.


"No, sir, you aren't just gonna drink all of that by yourself!"


Ghetsis looked across the table, his lip curling slightly in annoyance. "Ugh," he burped. "Fine, you pimply nerd."


The drunk Harmonia pushed the bottle and it slid across the table.


"They're freckles," Maxie stated, pouring himself a huge glass and then pouring Archie a significantly smaller, sadder glass.


Giovanni gestured for Maxie to pass the bottle over to him but when Maxie pushed it towards him, Lysandre intercepted it.


"I hope you don't mind if I have some as well," he said apologetically to Giovanni.


"You're skating on thin ice, Fleur-de-Lis."


"Just a tiny drop..."


Finally, Giovanni got his hands on the glorious bottle of whiskey. As it steadily pissed out its contents into his glass, once again, he found himself distracted by Cyrus, who was stuffing some bread in his pants pocket. Cyrus hadn't spoken much during the whole dinner. Instead, he focused on twirling spaghetti around his fork. He ate like a tiny little Starly, unlike the owner of the void-like mouth sitting beside Giovanni.


Giovanni decided he would have rather sat down next to Cyrus.


"Aniki, you finished the entire bottle," Archie whined, the tears in his eyes tragically obvious.


"I'm so sorry," Giovanni lied. "Uh- Cyrus? Did you want some too?"


Cyrus was busy placing a single meatball inside a dinner roll. He looked at Giovanni for a short moment then back at his impromptu sandwich. "No. I don't drink."


"Oh," said Giovanni, quite pathetically.


The empty bottle was seized violently from Giovanni's hand by Ghetsis, who sprung up from his chair and threw the glass container across the room. With a boom, it dented the wall and fell to the ground, shattering into approximately a million pieces.


"It's time to get PIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSED!" he declared, lifting his right leg up into the air and bringing it down so violently upon the table, it broke in half.


Meatballs flew up into the sky and rained down around the bosses like a culinary Armageddon. Some splat into mush and others bounced. One hopped into Cyrus lap. Giovanni noticed this.


And, after guzzling a few more shots and glasses and bottles of alcohol, the bosses got wasted.


Except Cyrus, who looked on in a strange mix of disapproval and wonder.

They get drunk. Drug warning.


Chapter Three: The Boys Get Drunk


"You! Pea soup head!" Lysandre thundered. "Where is the cake you promised?! If I don't get that cake, I'm leaving a one star review for this hotel!"


"I'm getting the cake." N said, walking off.


Music started playing. Nicki Minaj's Starships blared from the ceiling and it was like a sign from the heavens to start dancing. Maxie screamed with delight, jumped up and then began shaking his nonexistent pancake of a rear end all around the room.


Lysandre wasn't much of a dancer. He was too big and buff and redheaded that when he did attempt to dance, he looked like a Golurk having a fit. But now, in order to stave off the hunger pains he was getting from the lack of cake in his stomach, he undulated classically beside Maxie, Archie, and the newly acquired dabbing Colress.


All four of them spun together on the floor, laughing and smiling and dancing terribly around the quiet, dustpan wielding Cyrus.


Across the room, two handsome and eternally grumpy dads were leaning against the wall together.


Ghetsis bent down and whispered to Giovanni, "Somebody's still mildly sober."


"Well I want to be the designated driver of the car that's going to take us all to Hell," Giovanni muttered, squinting tiredly.


Ghetsis looked impressed for a moment then poked at the side of his jacket. It clinked. "I brought you a present."


Giovanni didn't say anything.


"Can you guess what it is? Hmmmmm?"


"To be honest, I don't really care-"


Ghetsis pushed his jacket aside (doing this simple task flamboyantly, of course) and revealed a shiny bottle of Kantonese sake.


Giovanni gasped and slapped his hands on his cheeks. He shouted "Where-?!?" but he realized how loud it came out so he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Where did you get this?"


"You're not the only one with connections around here, you know. Anyway, here."


"We've drank quite a bit already-"


Ghetsis took a swig straight from the bottle and noisily cleared his throat.


"You're not supposed to drink it like that. The top doubles as a cup."


Ghetsis then drank the sake in the correct way and passed the shot glass cap to his significantly shorter acquaintance.


"A'ight, cool. Hey, have I ever told you about my house?"


"No. Don't-"


"I've got a pool. Do you have a pool?"


Giovanni made a vague noise that sounded like both a yeah and a nah. The truth was Giovanni did own a pool however it was currently overrun with Barboach who were introduced to reduce algae rates before the summer started. And it worked: the pool had no more green slime in it- however there were just too many Barboach swimming around in it, Giovanni gave up and left it alone. So now he was a not-so-proud owner of a Barboach pond. But he wasn't about to admit this to anybody.


Ghetsis stole the shot glass from him, his already naturally crooked smile getting more and more twisted as he drank. "I got a hundred TVs. Probably a million. All flat screen. I have a theater too, so technically I don't even need TVs in my house. That's how rich I am."


Giovanni only had two flat screen TVs. Instead of revealing this he just said, "That's a lot" in a very strained voice. He was offered more and more cups to drink which, other than embarrassment, probably contributed to his flushed appearance.


"Do you like collecting cars, Sakaki? Well, let me tell you about-"


Ghetsis went on and on for a long time, as his favorite conversation topic seemed to be himself. Giovanni sort of tuned out. He was half listening, half trying to reassure himself that maybe he didn't hate Ghetsis too much. So what if hes richer than me? He brought me a drink. Heck, I don't even think he slipped something in it. He's an alright guy, I guess.


Pretty soon Giovanni was laughing with Ghetsis. They looked like a couple of old friends.


And that was exactly Ghetsis' plan.


Ghetsis had some very important things to discuss with Giovanni.


"Sakaki, I'd like to ask you something..."






The music that had been playing on the speakers cut off and instead a voice announced, "Aaaaaand now, the cake!!!"


There seemed to be a collective gasp amongst the bosses and they all stopped dancing and ran to the middle of the room. They quieted down and shook with anxiety and dessert-induced lust.


N Harmonia came back pushing a cart with the cake on it. This was an extremely tense moment in his life because he was in charge of this moment; he had to protect the cake as it was one of those fancy tiered ones that are always falling over. His father had emphasized the word careful earlier during the days prior to the party when he and N had cake delivering rehearsals.


N could hear Ghetsis' voice in his head.


Now, carefully, you're going to carefully walk in the room, very careful, and carefully reveal it to everyone. Be careful when you do this cuz-


In N's mind careful meant to be as slow as possible and not look at anyone. So that's exactly how he delivered the cake. Everyone watched as Ghetsis Harmonia's only son wasted too many precious seconds depriving them of cake when they could have been eating it. It was dead quiet. The wheels of the cart squeaked with every step N made. He seemed to be barely a couple of feet away from the door he entered through.


Maxie turned to Cyrus and whispered, "Oh, Arceus, its never going to get here."


Archie looked very concerned. Lysandre sighed dramatically. Colress shook his head. Giovanni laughed and swayed to the side a little.


N was possibly now five feet away from the door.


Lysandre couldn't take it anymore. He roared, broke away from the other (and more patient) bosses, and tackled N to the floor. Lysandre rose from the ground and started cutting a slice of cake for himself as Archie rushed to check the toppled Harmonia's vital signs.


Everyone got cake and peace was finally restored.


Since their previously table had been destroyed in the name of partying, the bosses all sat on the floor to eat their cake.


Ghetsis and Colress giggled drunkenly and started to shove cake in each other's mouths.


Maxie smirked to himself. He and Archie were way hotter than Colress and Ghetsis. In order to establish this, Maxie scooped up a chunk of cake with the fork he had in his hand and pushed it at Archies lips.


Archie coughed and turned to look at Maxie in surprise. "What the heck, Max!" he said.


"C'mon, babe, eat this cake so we can be sexy."


"But, Max, I'm already eating!" Archie protested. "You got the boring slice anyway! Mine has all the little candy flowers on it!"


Maxie frowned angrily. "Consume, ocean dweller!" he growled nasally, somehow managing to say this weird, foolish insult with a completely straight face. He pushed the fork at Archie again.


This time it dug into his beard, covering that specific part of his beautiful brown face with icing.


"You messed up my beard!" Archie grumbled. "I brushed it for hours!"


Maxie started stammering, trying to get an apology out, but was suddenly booped on the nose with Archies thick, fat, cake filled hand.


"There! Now were even," he said with a hearty little chuckle. Archie reached over and wrapped an arm around his nerd boyfriend, who was promptly hit in the face with an entire cake slice.


"What the ******!" Maxie honked.


Colress stood up. "You poser! You're trying to steal my vibe!" he yelled. "You'll never be as hot as me and my Ghetsy-whetsy!"


Everyone looked at Colress in horror.


"Ghetsy...whetsy?" Giovanni slurred.


Maxie, though typically a socially anxious dork, was absolutely drunk and he was not going to take it from anyone. Especially not Colress. So he chucked his plate full of cake at him.


...Except he was drunk, of course, so his aim was such absolute crap that the cake slid off and fell on Cyrus shirt and the lone plate flew like a frisbee and launched itself right at Colress' crotch.


"Arghhhhhhh! You ******!" the injured twink screamed. "You're gonna get it now!"


And that's how it all started. Colress grabbed the entire cake off of N's cart and smushed it right on Maxie's body. Archie jumped up and tried to stop Colress but in turn he got his whole dang entire beard full of icing. He gasped, stumbled back and landed on his butt with a gross squash noise. He looked back and he had done it- he had fallen in one of the worst places he could have fallen in that night:


Lysandre's plate of cake.


It all happened so fast. It went from Archie laughing and going "Whoops!" to Lysandre giving him a death stare and tackling him. It was both a dream and a nightmare- two cake covered baras wrestling each other for dominance like tongues in a fanfiction, ripping at their clothes and cursing... but they were both so strong and thick that anyone who was close to them was immediately knocked over. Colress fell forward on top of the cake that he had covered Maxie with.


While this was happening, Cyrus decided it would be a good time to find refuge in the nearest bathroom and clean the front of his shirt. He left through the ballroom door. Giovanni watched him leave and felt his foot step forward but before he could move, Ghetsis was at his ear again.


"So do you still agree to what we talked about earlier?" Ghetsis asked.


"Buh... What?" Giovanni burped.


"I'll take this as a yes. Gimme your phone."


"A'ight, he-ere."


Ghetsis took Giovanni's phone and held his own, more expensive phone next to it. He was getting Giovanni's phone number and wasn't being very stealthy about it but Giovanni was so drunk he didn't notice. Ghetsis returned the phones to their correct places and smiled, obviously very satisfied.


"I'll ring you tomorrow. Don't forget, okay?"


Giovanni nodded, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, Mom."


"I think you wont regret it."


"I need to, I need to take a piss. I'll be rrrrrright back."


Giovanni stumbled away from Ghetsis and out the door of the noisy ballroom. It so peaceful and quiet in the hall that Giovanni felt safe but the weird design of the carpet made his journey to the restroom a lot more difficult. He felt like puking. Eventually he made it, drunkenly crashing into the men's room with a burp. He leaned forward into the sink closest to him and sighed. For a moment, it seemed like his head was alright and no longer spinning.


"...Mr. Sakaki?"


Giovanni looked up and found himself staring directly at the pale face of Cyrus. And, yep, there went his head- spinning again.


"Oh, it's you. Flargus, right?"


Cyrus blinked. "I am Cyrus."


"I'm sosssorry, Flargus," Giovanni coughed. "I'm drunk as a grunk. I think Imonna peep my pants."


Cyrus looked around the empty restroom. "Do-Do you need, uh, help?"


Giovanni stood up a little straighter. "Listen, man, lemme tell you! Don't drink! Don't do drugs! Stay in school!"


"I'm twenty seven years old," Cyrus said.


"You are like a bean. Hold on, wait," Giovanni started digging in his jacket before pulling out a white oval shaped thing. He handed it to Cyrus.


Cyrus looked down at the object he held in his hand and looked back at Giovanni. "I'm sorry, is this a marzipan?"


"P-Press the side."


Cyrus did as he was told and out popped a freakin knife. He made a little surprised noise and then closed it. Giovanni had given him a switchblade.


"Why did you give me this?"


Giovanni laughed and shook his head. "Pshhh, you saw what happened in there. You need to defend yourself."


"I don't think one would need a knife to stop a cake fight," Cyrus replied thoughtfully, sliding the switchblade in his pants pocket anyway.


"You never know," Giovanni said, swaying to the side.


Cyrus was quick to help him stay steady. "Do you need help getting back to your room?" he asked.


He was like a little angel or something.


"I need help in general," Giovanni murmured.


That was the last thing he said before he blacked out.





BOOLOOLOOLO! BWALALALALA!

Giovanni rolled over, groaning and curling himself into a tiny ball. He was dreaming about Meowths breakdancing when his phone went off.


BOOLOOLOOLO! BWALALALALA!


Giovanni opened his eyes and looked straight at the ceiling. He knew that if he sat up, the hangover would come crashing over him, so he continued lying on top of the pile of pillows that had somehow formed on his bed. This was his more sedentary version of running away from his problems.


His cell phone rang a couple more times then stopped. Giovanni sighed, braced himself, then sat up to check who had called. He felt like hed been used as a Hitmonchans punching bag. Holding his aching head with one hand, he used the other to grab his phone.


Fifty missed calls. Two text messages that said a. One that said answer!!!! And another that said idgaf that ur drunk u need to answer! lmao. The number was unknown.


Giovanni made a scrunched up face and grumbled, "What the actual hell..."


The unknown number was calling again. Giovanni immediately answered.


"Bueno," the mysterious caller shouted. "Who the ****** is this?"


"You called me!" Giovanni shouted back.


"Oh! Sakaki! You doin' good?" the person asked in a cheery voice.


Ah. So that's who it was.


"Ghetsis? How on earth did you get my number?"


"Listen, dude, I'm sending someone to pick you all up. They'll be there soon so I hope you're ready. Everyone else is, apparently. I called."


"What are you talking about?" Giovanni sighed. "Could this guy get any more confusing?"


"You're so forgetful!" Ghetsis chuckled. "I'm sending someone to bring you to my house. Remember? We talked about it last night."


Giovanni could not recall a single thing that happened last night.


"Well," Ghetsis continued, "you better get your luggage ready. Don't take too long cuz everyone is gonna be at the front of the hotel in an hour. I called Maxie and he's pretty much ready."


"But- Ghetsis, I-"


"Front of the hotel in an hour!"


And just like that, the call was over.


It was a damn nightmare. Giovanni sat and stared at his phone in disbelief. How could he have agreed to something so terrible, even while drunk? His big plan was to come to Unova, go to the party, sleep, maybe try weird Unovian food, and then go home. He didn't come to make friends.


Giovanni's hand clenched around his phone. He was going to Ghetsis Harmonia's house. He was going to sit on Ghetsis Harmonia's couch. He was most likely going to eat Ghetsis Harmonia's food. The sad thing was he let himself get involved in this.


Giovanni got out of bed and began getting ready, sighing and kicking at the air the whole time. Once he had finished showering, putting stuff back into his suitcase, and trying to convince himself that this wasn't going to be absolute hell, he left his room and returned his key to the lobby.


"Have a great day!" the person behind the counter said.


Giovanni grumbled in response.


He exited the building and found all the other bosses standing around, their suitcases and bags at their sides. Archie and Maxie had a reasonable amount of stuff for a couple. Lysandre had more luggage than the two of them combined. All Cyrus had was a tiny little blue suitcase with a bunch of stickers on it. Giovanni waved tiredly at everyone and stood right next to Cyrus.


"Hey," Cyrus said. He spoke so softly Giovanni almost didn't hear him.


"Hey to you too," Giovanni replied with a weak smile.


Things suddenly felt a lot less worse.

It was one of the thickest and longest ones they'd ever seen.


The size wasn't the only jaw dropping aspect of it; everyone was amazed at its purple-red color. It shimmered, glowing majestically in the sunlight. It looked wet almost, but they all knew that it was because of the slick protective coating that had been rubbed down on it.


It's gonna be a tight fit, Lysandre commented, looking at it struggle to push through.


Maxie gasped, It's gonna make it!


It's needlessly huge, Giovanni grunted, severely unimpressed. If it wasn't so big, there wouldn't be any problems.


By now, it was already in front of them.


It smells weird, Cyrus said quietly.


Archie clapped his hands and shouted, Were famous, you guys!


Ghetsis had sent them a dang limousine.


The chauffeur of the vehicle popped out from behind the wheel and gave the group of men a low bow. Cyrus was the only one who bowed back, as everyone else was too shocked by the chauffeurs appearance. He was dressed in all black and wore a mask over his mouth. When the strange driver started stuffing away their luggage, they immediately began talking in hushed voices.


Im a hundred percent sure that's a ninja, Maxie whispered.


Ninjas arent real, Max, Archie insisted. How could you believe that?


"I'm guessing it was last night when he invited you all to his house?


I don't really remember him doing so, Lysandre responded. But he called me this morning and was very persuasive.


He has a pool, Archie said.


I know, Giovanni sighed.


And a million TVs!


I know, Giovanni repeated, a little more weakly this time.


The ninja driver came up to them again and gestured to the limousines open doors. You all can get in now, he told them.


The bosses were really creeped out but they sure as hell weren't going to pass up the opportunity to ride a DANG FREAKIN LIMO. They all piled in, with Lysandre, Archie and Maxie sitting together on one big seat and Giovanni and Cyrus sitting on another seat across from them.


Giovanni and Lysandre had been in their fair share of limos before but this one stood out with how dark it was. Inside, there were no funky lights changing colors. You could hardly see anything out the windows. Cyrus pretended he was in a space shuttle and when he landed, hed be on a brand new planet.


Do you know Ghetsis well? he asked Giovanni.


No, not at all, Giovanni chuckled. In fact, I think Im making a huge mistake going to his house.


I thought you two were friends, Cyrus said, his brow furrowing in confusion.


Giovanni was slightly insulted and he didn't even know how to respond. Giovanni shrugged. Im only familiar with Maxie and Archie, he stated.


Me too, murmured Cyrus. I don't know anyone else.


Well, I guess I'm acquaintances with you now, Giovanni said.


Cyrus made this expression that was almost unreadable; his eyes looked a little nervous but he was smiling. He crossed his arms and leaned back. Yes, he said finally. We are now acquainted. It only makes sense.


The two of them sat together in a pleasant silence so innocent yet tense that even Maxie felt it- but he didn't say anything. He just smiled as he watched his normally shy friend look cute and happy.


When the limousine pulled out of the city and into unfamiliar territory, the bosses got a little frightened. They were being driven down a bumpy path in the middle of a forest. All they could see from the limousines windows was a dark ocean of gnarled trees.


Just where does this man live? Lysandre said in awe.


If he kills us he can dump our bodies out there, Archie whispered. No one would find us and well turn into bone dust.


ARCHIE! Maxie yelped. He's not going to do that? Right, Giovanni?


I don't know anymore, Giovanni said, not even trying to comfort the trembling nerd. I just don't know.


The trees seemed to last forever. Nothing could be done to make the time go by faster because everyone was scared or already learning to accept their fate. Suddenly, the forest started to thin out. Small patches of light fell through the spaces in the trees. Then- the bosses saw magnificence itself.


They had arrived at Ghetsis house.


It was a castle in the middle of an acres-wide grassy field that had no twisted looking forests but instead was home to flower patches and berry trees. The house was guarded by a very spiky iron gate that opened as soon as the bosses pulled up to it. The limousine drove up a stone path and stopped in front of Ghetsis front door.



The chauffeur put the limo on park and was about to tell the bosses to exit the vehicle when they all pushed their way out the doors. They had their mouths wide open, stumbling back to get a better view of this gargantuan beast of a house. Giovanni noted the three statues of the Hydreigon evolutionary line that stood proudly amongst perfectly rounded gardenia bushes and hydrangea trees.


Giovanni was so amazed that he didn't even realize that Ghetsis place was a thousand times better than his own.


The heavy front door opened slowly, revealing the man of the house.


Ghetsis did not look like someone who spent the previous night getting drunk and breaking tables. His hair was so thick and floofy he looked like a lush, beautiful green fart cloud; his usual three prongs of unruly hair were down and brushed aside. He was wearing a gauzy red kimono that he hadn't even bothered tying up, revealing to the bosses that he was not wearing a shirt under it and, yes, it was possible to have green chest hair. Thank Arceus he was wearing pants.


Ghetsis tucked a loose strand behind his ear, batted his eyelashes and smiled.


Yo, he said unceremoniously.


All the other bosses exchanged tired glances. They also exchanged a very annoyed and even more jealous Uuuuuuughhhh


Cyrus, however, bowed and politely said, Hello.


Ghetsis snickered then raised his arms, his right hand hidden deep in his sleeve. Welcome to my humble abode, he laughed.


He was descending slowly down the steps leading to his home when Giovanni made a low, angry tiny man growl.


All this time we spent driving over here couldve been spent sleeping, you know, the Rocket boss huffed and puffed.


Ghetsis opened his mouth like he was going to say something but he just sighed dreamily and shook his head. You are just too much, was all he said as he pushed past Giovanni and started talking to the chauffeur.


Various suitcases and bags were dragged away to an unknown (but hopefully safe) place. Ghetsis cocked his head to the side, gesturing toward the open front door.


Yall want tea or something? he offered, leading the crowd of tired bosses into his home.


Do you have coffee? Maxie asked.


Sure, Ghetsis said. Anyone want coffee?


The inside of Ghetsis house was just as glorious as the exterior. The ceiling was so tall you could stack five Ghetsises (Ghetsi?) upright on each other and you still wouldn't be able to touch it. He had a chandelier in the foyer, a chandelier in the living room, and nobody would be shocked to find out if he even had a chandelier in the bathroom (he did).


You've got a rad house, dude! Archie said.


Now that is the understatement of the year, Maxie responded, spinning around and taking everything in.


The ******s got stained glass windows, Giovanni whimpered. In his house. This is where he lives. And he's got stained glass windows.


This is way beyond bourgeois, Lysandre wheezed. He was just another person whose wealth couldn't compare to Ghetsis Harmonias.


Cyrus bent over and adjusted his socks and asked Ghetsis if he had any tea.


Beautiful porcelain cups were brought out. They were purple and had gold leaf gilded into their cracks. Tiny flowers were carved into the steel handles; and in the middle of these flowers, a big H. Ghetsis himself preferred to drink out of a cracked white mug that said I ASKED SANTA FOR A BETTER SON BUT ALL I GOT WAS THIS CUP on it.


Once the bowls of sugar and cream were set out, Ghetsis poured everyone coffee (except Cyrus, who got a very fancy teabag dropped in his cup of hot water). Everyone sat on these nice squishy bar stools and inhaled the steam from their bean juice.


One thing that stood out, more than the display of sickening wealth around them, was the number of Deino crawling all over the place. There was a Deino in the sink. There were two rolling about on the floor. A Deino was tugging on a chewed up lace curtain. Giovanni wanted to say something but he realized he had a similar situation with Meowth back home.


Ghetsis leaned against the kitchen counter, stirring sugar into his own mug of coffee and smiling proudly to himself.


You really are good with interior design, Maxie complimented. Also is this coffee fair trade? Organic?


Yeah, whatever, Ghetsis said. I'm really quite pleased to see you all again. I spent my night tossing and turning with excitement, wondering when I was going to see my lovely group of men again and I spent all morning preparing a brunch for lunch.


Ghetsis, how could you have brunch for lunch? Giovanni asked, disgustedly.


Ghetsis shook his head and took a sip of coffee. Sakaki, my dearest friend, you eat a brunch. I know the culture is different where you're from, so it might be hard for you to grasp this. Let me kindly explain-


You dont have to. I know what brunch is. Brunch is a meal between breakfast and lunch, Giovanni sighed, rubbing his eyes That's why it's called brunch.


Ghetsis paused for a minute, deep in thought, then said, You are misinformed. You can have brunch for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. You can even do a snack brunch.


It's a little past twelve now, Ghetsis, I think brunch was over an hour or two ago, Lysandre said.


Ghetsis scowled. Well have brunch when I say so! He slammed his mug down and glared at the offending giant gay lion man.


Lysandre decided he didn't want to get into it and raised his hands in defense. Okay, okay. Sorry...


It was quiet for a moment before Ghetsis crossed his arms and sighed, Actually, Im pretty hungry so let's go eat.



Ghetsis leads his group of outcasts into this dining room (which could probably house a family of four comfortably within it) and sat them down at a long******fancy table. Atop of it were tall stacks of tiny little sandwiches and a pitcher of some weird pink juice with Sitrus berry slices floating in it. Ghetsis, being the Ghetriarch, sat at one end and made Giovanni sit at the other. This was worse than the setup the night before, where Giovanni had to sit next to Ghetsis. Sitting across from someone is terrifying because:


It's really difficult not to look at them. Even if you do manage somehow to find a way to avoid looking at them, they still have the ability to look RIGHT AT YOU.


Everybody sat down in appropriate order- Archie by Maxie on one side and Lysandre by Cyrus by Giovanni on the other. The two seats on Ghetsis left and right were empty, one for Colress and the other for..?


Dy-a-a-ad!


Without even turning around, Ghetsis immediately groaned. Why must you show yourself before I call for you?


N has come from the kitchen with a tray holding little bowls of soup. Colress followed behind him, slightly rugged looking in a bathrobe. N set the soups down and clapped his hands together, sighing, Oh what a beautiful day, Dad, what a beau-ti-ful day.


Ghetsis turned to Colress and hissed, Why is he out? I thought I locked him up in his room last night!


Colress shrugged. You were so drunk last night you couldnt lock any door, sweetheart, let alone his. He offered to help set the table so I let him.


Ghetsis clenched his fist and thumped it on the table. Damn it. I didnt want him to get comfortable around my friends-


The bosses shared this short tense moment of clenching their throats and butts. Friends? How could Ghetsis already consider them to be his friends? They didnt even know his birthday!


Giovanni awkwardly coughed/gagged, HEYYYY, WHATS THIS? ILL HAVE SOME! and gesticulated wildly toward the pitcher full of juice before grabbing it and pouring some for himself for Maxie and Cyrus. This was the cue for everyone to start eating like a normal happy family.


Archie tried speaking over the two mini sandwiches stuffed in his mouth. Man, ah riri laig your houff, he said to Ghetsis.


Surprisingly, Ghetsis understood this statement. Thank you, he responded. You know, I could give you a tour of it, if you'd like.


Of what? Maxie asked suspiciously, only catching the last bit of Ghetsis unusually kind (and weird sounding) offer.


OF HIFF HOUFF, DUH! Archie nearly shouted, absolutely surprised that Maxie wasnt already in on their conversation.


Raising his voice a little to address everyone at the table, the eldest Harmonia declared, After brunch! I'll show you guys my house!


Even me? N gasped in delight.


Absolutely positively not! Ghetsis said, throwing a sandwich with all his strength at his own son.


Brunch ended too soon and everyone found themselves waddling behind Ghetsis, looking around as he led them down a long corridor lined with snoozing Deino and clerestory windows. Cyrus looked out of one, staring at the garden outside; trying to figure out what one would have to accomplish to live in an actual castle . Maxie planted an encouraging hand on his shoulder and said telepathically, Cmon, hon, let's hurry and follow along because my bowels are humming. I feel like a shook up soda can.


The group of men stopped and looked up. At the end of the hall was a gigantic painting of Ghetsis.


Lysandre let out a low whistle and said something gay and Kalosian like Quelle merveille.


Isnt my Ghetsy-poo handsome? Colress sighed, giving the man of the hour a hug.


Archie laughs. You really are a fancy guy, Ghetsis. Like a king or something!


Giovanni flinched. He felt like puking. How could Archie say such a thing?


Everyone was falling under Ghetsis spell! The world was falling apart, crumbling around Giovanni as he witnessed the others ooh and ah, and maybe even woah, over that stupid painting.


Giovanni stood as tall as he could and clenched his fists, posting the ****** up. Enough milling about in this hallway! he grumbled. Show us something interesting for once!


Ghetsis turned to face his accuser, hitting Lysandre in the face with his hair, and said, Hmph! Fine. I think Ive got something that will really... interest you, Sakaki.


They followed him past the painting and found themselves at a sort of fork in the road. Ghetsis looked to his left then his right then shrugged and headed for the right, Colress dutifully at his side. Another hallway. Giovanni glanced at Cyrus who was already looking at him. Before they could make any sort of attempt at conversation, Maxie came between them and tugged at Giovannis sleeve.


Were going to die, he said straightforwardly. Hes leading us to his dark, slimy****** dungeon and were going to die in it.


Dont say that, Giovanni hissed. Youre just letting the nervousness get to your head. He shoved his hands down his pockets and harrumphed tiredly. Besides, he wouldnt be kind enough to kill us today. Hell most likely keep us locked in there for months.


No, Maxie whimpered. I cant even tell if youre being sarcastic anymore. Youd know a lot about this sort of thing, wouldnt you? Maxie looked down at his reddening palms, chuckling defeatedly. I cant believe were going to die and-


Youre lagging behind, Max! Archie shouted over his shoulder. Hurry! We gotta see the interesting thing!


Maxie, sobbing, stomped ahead.


Cyrus made this little amusing hm sound and Giovanni kinda/sorta/not really forgot he was even there. They looked at each other.


I dont think well be killed, Cyrus said. I think Ghetsis is trying to atone for something.


Giovanni felt his breath hitch in his throat and it stayed that way as Cyrus walked on ahead of him.


The group stopped in front of a set of giant decorated doors. Everyone paused and looked at Ghetsis standing before them. He made finger guns at the door.


Sbeen a while since Ive been inside but Colress is always in here, Ghetsis stated. He kinda uses it as an impromptu study room since its soundproof.


Maxie turned around and mouthed SOUNDPROOF at Giovanni.


It is where we first fell in love, Colress dreamily exhaled.


Ghetsis snapped his fingers before wrapping them around the doors handles, Well! Lets go in!
He opened the door and the bosses were enveloped in light.