Sorry, I just need to rant for a bit...
Every single day, I am scared for my life. My father is always pressuring me to do everything perfectly. When I die, the only thing he'll feel is happiness when he gets my life insurance.. I get a good grade but he tells me that I'm an idiot for getting a single question wrong. He treats me different from my family, he always tries to make my life as hard as possible.

When he beats me, my mother just stands nearby and watches but does nothing. She later tells me that if she interfered then it would be much worse. But would it really? She sees my desperation everytime he asks me to go downstairs. If i do a little mistake he beats me. When I just try to calm myself down, he shouts at me for not doing my homework.

During the evenings, he sometimes tells me to clean the house when I tell him I have to do my homework or I'm doing it. He gets mad and sometimes throw things at me. So I spend the nights telling myself to get together. In the morning I do my homework and go to school. I sickens me that i have to act as if i'm a happy kid who loves to slack off in school. That's because I get multiple ZAPs. I'm not like that. Even among my friends, it's obvious that I'm theeir least favorite.It's not fair. I I have to act. I show someone who's not even me at school. The only reason I haven't committed suicide is because I'm afraid to die. The way I'm veiwed from my family is a freak who was an accident and should have been better off not being born.

I'm sorry you had to see this. Please don't let it change how you see me

I can't really give you advice on what to do in this situation, but I can do one thing.

You are beautiful. No one can change that. Not you father, your mother, or anyone else. I don't know you, but there's nothing that you can say or do that will make me believe that you aren't amazing. You were born for a reason. I know that. You are not an accident. Maybe your family views you like that, but I sure don't.

If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you. I will help in any way possible, and that's a promise.

Thanks, it's nice knowing I can talk about this to someone and have them not judge me for it

*Stalks the thread, not knowing what to say...*
Wow... Well, just know that you will always have people to talk to in Sylestia. I can't imagine a life like yours, with my easy elementary life... Well, no matter who you are, nobody deserves to have their childhood ruined, and well, you just struck unlucky. Just know that you don't deserve it, and that we're here for you. I'm not going to tell you that things will be all fine, because it might not be until you get a new life. Just don't give up, else you might miss all the good things.

#Supercheesyending

*Dumps a bunch of gifs*

Thanks :) I honestly didn't expect to get replies.

Abusive parents (or, in this case, parent) is not something you should take this lightly. Call the police, tell a teacher, or even a friend. Get the hell out of there. Any further could lead to serious injuries, take it from me, you do NOT want to stay in an abusive household for longer than needed. Tell the family you want to take with you (besides your father) and stay at a relatives or a friends house until you gather enough money for a decent hotel or apartment. Don't reply with you're afraid, you would be afraid anyways. If you call the police there's no way in hell your father would continue to beat you after learning from the first mistake. If he loved you at all he most likely wouldn't expect you to be this obnoxious "oooh im so perfect!" person, he'd love you for you.

I'm always here to talk.

When I'm older I know I will take actions but I'm in a position where I can't right now. I actually did tell my teacher once two years ago but after she sent an email to my parents, I learned not to talk. I feel I've been brainwashed to act like this. But telling someone won't work anyway. My father will either move back to the country he was born in and he would take my mother and brother with him, leaving me without any resources. My family will also deny everything, they make it seem as if I lie. You won't understand until you've seen it happen. The only plan I've ever had is to wait a decade so when I go to college, he'll leave me alone.
I know I'm making this into a big mess but I can't do anything. My mother and my brother who also want it to stop will deny it. It is the way they were raised I guess. I'm also reluctant because some other people kind of deal with it, to a lesser extent but they don't tell. I guess my only reason is because I'm afraid of the unknown. Who would really want to adopt me? Would I have to move to a completely different place? Would I be able to see my other family members?
Telling this to someone really helps you know. Thanks for letting me explain tthis to someone. No one really cares, besides my teacher I've talked about to some other people but they didn't really understand. I'm scared of the unknown I guess. It's very pathetic but it's true. I'm just an 11 year old kid who can't even tell anyone in real life anything. Thank you so much. Maybe in the future, I'll gather enough courage to tell and not have to eal with this anymore. I know that you said not to reply with this but I just can't get over it. If I tell then I'll have no one left.

It seems like you feel like you can't do anything. Sit your mother and brother down and talk to them about calling a relative or the police, and tell them not to deny it anymore. I know I'm coming off rude or like I don't understand but believe me, I do. The only people who could really help now is the police because they will take action no matter how much your family denies it. Besides, why would you call if you didn't mean for them to come? Hope this helps, and again, if you at any time need someone to talk to, shoot me a message and we'll talk c:

"I'm also reluctant because some other people kind of deal with it, to a lesser extent but they don't tell."

That is exactly why you should talk about it, with the police, other relatives, other teachers, (neighbours?) because others won't do it. Abuse victims are often made to feel as though it's normal to be hurt, but it's not normal, and there needs to be more awareness for this sort of thing.

If you don't try to stop it now, you may be putting yourself at serious risk. You should call the police, and try to get them to help. But please don't normalize it. No one deserves this.

Your special.

No one can replace you. There is not another single person that is similair to you. You have your own unique characteristics that sets you apart from everyone else, you are a special person.

Don't let other peoples actions decide what your life is going to be like. Just think where are you going to be in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? Thinking about the future is a difficult thing, but it is important when it concerns yours or others safety. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, you have that right. Don't let your mind sink into thinking 'its normal', because its really not.

You said you trust your teacher right? Maybe try telling her that the situation has not been getting better and its needs police investigation. It is really important when telling someone to go directly to the police. Especially as you said if they get another sign that you spoke they could flee the country your in.

Or try getting family services involved. They are not about splitting families apart, they actually help them to better them. My friend had a very verbally abusive mother and once she spoke out, family services actually got her and her mom the help they needed. They don't just split up families, they help them.

It may be scary or nerve racking to speak up for yourself, but what if you don't. Think about the consequences of not speaking up.

Its not okay for you to be treated like that, or any one in that matter. Victims of abuse and neglect often do not speak up, but be there voice. It's really important that you get someone involved if your struggling. Please do seek help in the matter.

As an 11 year old you should be denied to access to care. You have the full rights to get help. And you said you were afraid of who you may get adopted by and if you would get to see family. The answer to that is, they put extensive background checks into foster and adoptive homes, trust me its just not a random stranger. And of course you would be able to see family, as long as they know it would be a safe idea for your mental/psychical state.

And please, don't let him win the battle. I know its not easy, but don't let him end up winning. Don't think about suicide, please, its not the way out, there is help. Your life is more important then that.

You are you, and that's all I can say. I can't choose for you to speak out, I can't make you, no one can make you do anything. You can though. You.


PM me if you would like to talk more. My PM/Pings is always open to you or any one <3

and lastly I would like to give you a big hug *hugs*