Hello! I know I'm rather young to be dealing with this sorta thing, but I think someone can help.

Recently has been tough times. My family is very poor, and is on Food Stamps (which I'm not embarassed about cause I know it helps us), and my sister and brother are about to leave the house. On top of that, I have to study over the summer so I'm prepared for 7th grade. I have to get good grades and I have to avoid being bad, I have to meet these AR Goals, I have to buy new supplies, I have to stop being pesty, I have to deal with my emotions, I have to deal with puberty, I have to find a way to help my family, I have to deal with the death of my dad. It's just too much. I've been thinking darkly lately and have been overall depressed, although I can act very well in a crisis. I've thought of suicide many times but I have never been driven to do it. I can't tell my family, because they'd just make me feel worse. I can't tell school friends, because they don't read about this stuff as much as I do. My mother yells at me and she adds more pressure on me. I love her, yeah, but it's getting to be just to much. I remember easily the times when I got better scores than 98% of the country in those big tests. I just can't do it though. There are bullies at school and perverted people on the internet. Reading and youtube is my only escape. Can someone give mee advice? Please, I'd appreciate it...

From what i know your best bet is to talk about it with your family, even if that take some time they love you and i am sure even if that don't all change in one day that they will help you. Don't let all those thing crush you, i know it's somtime difficult to talk about it but it's the best way to help your family and yourself.

For the bullies i already have many experience, the best way to deal with them is to igniore them. Bullies use ther victime for feeling stronger over someone else, if you show that your not impress they will stop eventualy. If they become more violent toward you don't be afraid to report them, you may think that will make this worst but trust me if you let them do it once they will restart.

And for the internet people, just think that some people don't have better stuf to do that saying or showing pervert thing and don't wory to mutch. Yet again block those people is a good way to get ride of those problem. If they try to contact you in real life or if you have issu with one of those people, if he keep contacting you or stuff like that, you still can talk to the police about it they will at least get him away from you if not more. Keep in mind that for one pervert you still have hundred people who are totaly sane.

I'm not sure about advice but I can give you someone to talk to and maybe some help with the puberty, depression stuff.

I'm going through hard times myself but i'd love to help you in any small way I can.

Also I'd like to add that maybe seeing a psychologist or your school counciler would be a good idea. (I don't know whwere you are in the world or what the health system is like there.)

Like I said, if you need someone to talk to PM me. I won't go blabing your stuff to someone else and I'm a little older but I still know what you're going through, or at least some of it.

Also I'm very sorry to hear about your dad, my mum's dad died when she was a little older than you are.

I read your post but not others' so I may be repeating things, but know that if we are repeating each other it's just that much more important! Even though you feel your family or friends won't understand it's still best to tell someone you know in real life, that way they can check up on you.

I don't think you're less smart than before, depression really takes everything out of people. It can make everything seem more like a chore/harder and cause your energy levels to dwindle really low.

It's not easy losing anyone you know, let alone a parent! Some people spend next to no time mourning, others take much longer. :( My dad died actually when I was literally your age, my depression started the exact same way. I hope it turns out differently for you if this is your only option*, but ignoring it or pushing it down could potentially make it a lot harder to get rid of later.

*I don't know where you live**, but in my state if you qualify to have food stamps you also qualify for 100% free state insurance. Which covers counseling, medication, body-doctor visits, some dental, etc. But if you live in an area without it, the people around you are even more important! I'm sure one of your friends or your mom would be supportive and listen to you when you're feeling particularly down. :(

**You don't need to tell me, but I believe most of the US (and probably the UK? Definitely Canada) have some form of free insurance, especially for those under 18.