which elements are you using

I'm not calling u a critique. (Sorry if things arent clear I'm using a avery uncooperative phone). I meant to say that oftentimes the reason you cant move in the storyline is because your party needs some tweaking and party critiquing from other players usually helps with that.

Shadow element

I do have all three unlocked, one of my strongest pets are on a mission cause I just give up

What has been said is true:
1- the highest level of pet that you can have on your party is the highest level a pet has grown to while owned by you. This does not prevent you from doing things like sending them on missions, only from putting them on your party. When a pet you own grows to level 60, your user level will increase to match.

2- and a metaphoric brick wall halting your progression is, yes, very often the result of some issue in party setup. You aren't the first player to run into that issue, you won't be the last. (sometimes it IS just a genuinely hard fight and it's more down to learning the strategies, but the main plotline doesn't have very many bosses of that sort)

Okay, so I'm going to guess that Shadow Lurker is on your team usually, since he's lv59?
Which other pets are on your actual party? Blue Fire Gem and Redrum are currently your party, but I don't know if they're the party you are actually using to progress or not?
Which pets are your typical team, and in what party order (slot 1 / slot 2 / slot 3)?
I'd just like to know before I try to work out where any particular part of the team could be tweaked to help you.

I bought shadow lurker so I can't add him to my party, its usually Venom, Blue Firegem and Redrum ( my main party pets)

you can add Shadow Lurker to your party though? You're level 59, he's level 59. Him being bought is irrelevant, it's whether his level is higher than your user level or not that matters.

also, which zone are you in plot-wise? Faerina's Shrine? Enigmatic Grotto? (It has been a looong time since I was at that part of the story so I've completely forgotten which elites/minor bosses show up where, so I don't know what level enemies we're talking here)

I'm stuck on the Shrine, so second part of the map, these vampires are like level 35 with three blue stars

right, lv35.

Well, triple-shadow is a possible team setup, though most teams follow a tank/healer/attacker setup (water/earth/shadow + light + fire/air).

I don't really have much experience with shadow tanks, never mind full-shadow...
But some basics apply, I suppose, so if you want to keep running triple shadow...
> you'll probably want to swap profs on them to 2int? Whoever spends the most time in the lead might want 1int/1agi
> pay attention to equips, since both the equip level and equip rarity play a part in how good the equip is

Whoever is in slot 1 the most you'll want to give Illusionist for the agility (evasion)
The other two should probably have Evoker for the dexterity (critical hit chance)

You absolutely don't want Myrmidon or Assassin on shadow pets, and Disciple is Average at best and is typically a place-holder equip.
(relics especially- Blue Fire Gem has a Myrmidon equip, which is doing her no favours at all, since it gives a large boost to the Physical Damage stat, which she as a shadow pet doesn't use at all- her attacks run off the Magical Damage stat)

Venom's equips are... pretty sad, being almost all lv25 uncommons (which are... Bad. Uncommon equips should always be replaces asap because they're just. Not Good.)

at this point, lv25 legendary equips (obtainable via trade broker and as a possible item from lv25 Esior's Haven mission satchels) would serve them far better than anything they currently have.
(you could probably get some nice lv30 epic stuff for them off the Trade Broker, and possibly some lv45 epic stuff for Venom, though whether there's illusionist/evoker stuff there for them obviously depends on what people put in there)

I use a shadow tank and it works well....but I also have 70 pets with abilities unlocked :P

I like it better then earth/water tanks but triple shadow.....If I remember right triple shadow can be a little bit of a long battle since the shadow elements keep rebuffing themselves but don't do a lot of damage.