Oooh man. You would not believe the crazy dream I just woke up from...
So, I was at school and the classroom was dark. We were getting this wierd lesson about letters... FROM OUR MATH TEACHER! Then we switched classes. On the way, I realized that I had forgotten all of my stuff and forgotten my shoes and socks at home! I went to the health office. (They have replacement clothes there.) This is where it gets really weird
Our nurse was a MINOTAUR. Then, this minotaur-nurse fetched me some shoes and socks and told me to stay right there, then left. Then, some annoying kid in my class that likes me IRL started yelling at me and hitting me. I told on them for hitting me. I decided to leave the health office before the nurse came back and went to my school's equivalent of a gym. It was right across from the health office, as it is IRL. I got there, then our minotaur-nurse came back. He started chasing me around, trying to impale me with his horns to "prove he was the best at the school!" O_o I ran away and told on him, for some reason the minotaur-nurse didn't impale us both. I then went back to class to see that we were taking a history test on some dragon eating some chinese ruler. Wut. Then I woke up.
I don't even know how begin to describe how wierd it was. |
The year is 2007, and I am in Washington state (the other side of the country from me, mind) playing 18 holes of mini golf with then-president George W. Bush. I am royally serving him. Right at the 18th hole, Bush calls the secret service to take me down. No one beats him at mini golf- no one. I won't let myself be offed so easily, though, so I flee south.
Into the rebel lands.
California.
Which also turned into the red plateus of Utah at some point I guess?
There I find one of the rebel bands, led by my then section leader, And Joe, so nicknamed because he was the only male in the section (we would be addressed as 'ladies- and Joe'). Also contained therein are a few of my close friends. I join their band, but life is rough in the desert wastes. Food and water are scarce. Monsters rove the landscape.
A scant handful of days after my induction into the rebels, tragedy strikes. From behind one of the red plateus looms...
... the Giant Cactaur. Truly, it is the mustachio'd visage of terror.
It points its orange spiked head at us and intones like a death knell, "10000 NEEDLES". Too fast to react, we are showered with two yard long orange spikes, which gruesomely tear through the rebel forces. I held the hand of And Joe as he died, speared through the throat. Few survived, and those that did ran to the nearest safe haven.
A mall, surrounded by a 20-foot wire fence.
Thankfully, this was a monster-repelling wire fence, and we were saved by consumerism. Inside, we begin to expore the near-deserted mall. The shops are all, of course, open for business, but we are not interested. We regroup, but when we count the survivors, we notice one is missing. The sousaphone player, who was definitely confirmed alive, was nowhere to be found. Me and my surviving friends run to the fence to find the gate wide open, admitting a tremendous chimera. Who opened the gate? None other than the trecharous tubaist.
The fiend.
We begin to flee for our lives. We have no other recourse. The remaining forces scatter as my friends and myself attempt to lead the monster to somewhere it may get itself stuck. Eventually, we lure it into the movie theater, and scatter into the various hallways. The only problem is, while it could not escape, neither could we. It was time to pull out the big guns. We had to use our special powers.
Dodging the flames being breathed at us, we all locked eyes and began to summon our magics. With a mighty cry, we let loose our spells... tiny, flaky pastries with pastel icing. We flung them at the savage beast until finally it relented, too full and happy to pester us any longer. We slunk from our hiding places not to find a murderous chimera... but a friend. |
