Hi!!
I only have read one chapter of each so far, but I'll start with the first one.
Wow! I honestly didn't expect much from it because of past experiences with writers online, but it was surprisingly amazing! I can't really enjoy a book online with the grammar is awful, but congrats, you pasted the first test. The second test was writing ability, and surprise surprise... You passed again! The first chapter was a pretty good hook, and makes me want to read more, so I definitely will update you once I finish it. So far you're doing great! Good job! A+! Thumbs up!
If you want more helpful criticism, just ask, I'll try to find something to improve. Possibly action scenes...? There was only a short one, and it was decent. It could be better, but I think it wasn't too bad. ^-^
As for the second book, it's ok. I definitely enjoy the first one more. I think you used the sentence structure "clause, for clause" way too much in just the 3/4ths of a chapter that I read, and the story, or at least the scene seemed to move to fast and awkwardly, but it wasn't even close to some of the bad ones I've seen. I think you can improve on it a lot because right now the writing and the story seem awkward to me.
This is just my opinion, and I'm only one person. I'm sure a ton of others think it's really good! I have pretty high standards for books, and your first one killed it! The second was awkward as it was, I will still probably read, just to see how it progresses, but I suggest going back and editing some chapters(checking for grammar, rewording certain phrases, etc). But yeah, awesome job! I think they are pretty good. ^-^ |
