'Ello Govenor!
I have a BEAUTIFUL pet zebra striped phoenix winged animal. I am willing to sell it for 2,000,000 coins. It'll be a sad parting. I've bred this wonderful god of a creature and nurtured him since birth (I breastfed him until sixty three months). He's my heart and soul. But, I want to retire this month and I need the funds. After I sell him, I will leave the site. I wish you all the best and please buy my beautiful baby boy so I can retire.
IMPORTANT: I will do a background check on all people who apply to buy him. I must know he's safe. Also, you must take his gold saddle and French leather shoes, bathe him thrice a day and whisper poetry to him as he falls asleep. He has seasonal depression, so please decorate his stable with artificial flowers and a heat lamp. He's prone to night terrors, and if he is in the grasp of a daemon at night, you will be forced to stroke him with an oak leaf until he wakes (which is precisely at 4:61 AM). He will bite Communists and all Lithuanian women. He is gluten, dairy, and nutmeg intolerant (these will increase his likelihood to bite Lithuanian women and urinate on his French leather shoes). His stable must be kept at 24.78 C and also be built of wood and bolts exclusively from Ikea. He's a devout Christian, so please feed him lamb and red wine on every day of worship. Finally, he refuses to act in combat unless accompanied by his life partner, Mr. Williwigin (a charming Turkish angle who can be purchased for 1,000 coins).

Love,
Katierin (and Magmusket)

Prices are non-negotiable

If your retiring why sell? :)

<buys and releases> XD

I'm more interested in his hecking story like XD

I can't even tell if this is real or not XD Quite a lot for a... some... sort of zebra painted thing