Welcome to my portfolio!


Ping List:

Avaelle


Table of Contests:

Pure Wolf




Pure Wolf

"Maya!" My mother called. "Feeding time!" I licked my lips. They must've found a fresh kill. I bounded over to my mother. I was the only female, and therefore the most important wolf pup in the pack. I got called for everything. My mom her led me towards a fresh blood trail. We ran down it together to find a nice, juicy, buck. That's what I'm talking about! I immediately dig in. It is delicious, but soon I hear heavy footsteps. My mother yelps. I whip around just in time to see the bear toss her across the glade. I run for it. Soon, the bear is no longer following me, but I am in unfamiliar territory. That's not good. I try for a few hours to find my way back to the den, but find myself more hopelessly lost than before. Since my mother had also been a loner, I decided to give up on my impossible search, and become a loner as well. They were better off in the long run, anyways. And they became pack leaders, which I was never in line to be, since I had 6 older brothers, and because I was a female. I would most likely never become leader. So it was probably better that I was a loner anyways. I hear a bark behind me. I turn around to see a handsome brown male pup with blue eyes come running up. "Are you a loner too?" It pants. I nod and wag my tail. It looks at me with it's pretty blue eyes. "I'm Viper." The wolf yips. "You wanna join my pack?" I ask, wagging my tail to show I meant no offense. "I'm Maya." I yipped. "Sure!" Viper barks cheerfully. We run for a while before we come across a stream. We pause to drink, and then run off again. I belonged somewhere now! I had my own pack! Oh, if Nisello was to see me now. He would bow his head and..., Oh, just the thought makes me excited. But I've gotta remember to live in the present, and that Nisello and the rest of the pack are a long ways away now. Viper yips with glee. "Fresh meat!" He yelps. He runs off. "Wait! Viper! I can't lose you too!" My reasoning: I smelled bears. But Viper was too far away to hear me. And soon, I heard a sharp yelp from his direction. "Bears!" He barked. His tail was between his legs. He caught up to me and we bolted. When we had gotten a safe distance away, he reprimanded me. "Why didn't you warn me?" He howled. "I thought we were friends." He turned and trotted in the opposite direction from me.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Once again a bit fast, maybe you should add some descriptions to make some pauses =) and how would a lone wolf get pups ? I actually find it hard to believe for a single female to be able to feed a whole litter of pups all on her own. By herserlf, a wolf can hardly hunt anything bigger than jackrabbits, and that would be barely enough to get her to survive so....

Maybe it's a bit unrealistic...

I don't really mind, I"m nitpicking actually, but be careful not to get too big inconsistencies ^^ (But remember that in "les misrables" the protagonist hair colour actually changes three times ^^ everyone makes mistakes)

I really don't mind. I hate it when my parents say, I love it! When it's absolutely terrible.

Well there's no learning without mistakes =) You gave me the desire to post one of the stories that I got in the corner of my head ^^ I'll post it in a while

You should post it for sure.

I'll post only the beggining though, because the full story would not be good for sylestia. I'd like to get some criticism on my writing though