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Wanda
Level 74
The Perfectionist
Joined: 3/10/2018
Threads: 207
Posts: 1,925
Posted: 4/28/2023 at 7:18 PM
Post #21
I am happy this forum resurfaced! I mean to post on it last summer and I forgot about it!
I am Wanda and I have Autism, Anxiety, Depression, moderate OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), and DID (dissociative identity disorder).
An explanation of DID:
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a mental health condition in which a person has two or more distinct personalities or identities that control their behavior, thoughts, and feelings at different times. These identities are also known as alters or parts. This condition is ALWAYS caused by some form of trauma. DID like any other mental health condition is not something you can choose to have. Most people with DID call themselves a "system", which is how they group all of their alters. A system can have 2 alters or more! Each system is different.
My system:
We call ourselves Squid System (honestly not sure how we decided on the name but that is irrelevant)
DID in real life: For us personally we dont bring up DID in our day to day life. Most people find it too complicated to understand and don't even try. We always use our birth name, only one person that we know in person even knows we are a system and that is our therapist lol. As alters we all collectively work together to essentially act to be one person. Sometimes that can get really difficult.
DID terms:
Fronter(s): The alter or alters that are in control essentially
Headspace: Where all of the alters not at the front "hang out"
Switching: when the fronters change, typically one or two people are fronting at a time, when they leave and someone else takes their place. Typically switching causes a dissociative episode
Black out: switching with no memory from the previous alter, missing chunks of time
Grey out: switching with partial memory, similar to watching a movie, you know what happened but you weren't there
Qustions:
If anyone has any questions on DID feel free to ping us and we will try our best to answer all of them! We are more than happy to be educators and advocates for DID.
Snowydays
Level 75
Stocking Stuffer
Joined: 3/19/2018
Threads: 32
Posts: 824
Posted: 5/30/2023 at 3:08 AM
Post #22
I just have to say--
PEBBLES!!! I love that name so much it's so cute!!!! :D
A while ago I actually hyperfixated on DID, sadly do not recommend. My type of hyperfixation is a bit.. intense... and when I hyperfixate on things that could relate to me but don't or even can't, sometimes I'll end up convincing myself that it relates to me against all evidence. I bet you see what I'm getting at already, I unintentionally faked DID for a few days. I'm just so glad that the few loved ones I told didn't really agree with me, and dropped it quickly after I got out of that intense hyperfixation and realized I'm just autistic and lonely.
So I'm wondering, do you have any thoughts about unintentional faking? And what about characters that have multiple personalities/consciousnesses, but don't necessarily have confirmed DID? I have a couple characters like that, one being super old, when I didn't know DID even existed.
And some more simple questions: What does your headspace look like? How often do you switch on average, and why (if that's a sensitive topic, feel free to skip this question)? Do all of you get along decently?
Anyways, I put a little discussion starter that royally flopped near the bottom of the page before this, which has a bit of info about me. But basically:
Hi! I'm Snowy :) I'm autistic, and I have mild(?) OCD, sensory processing disorders (worst is auditory), PTSD, social anxiety that likes to flux dramatically day to day, and probably frequent and intense enough dissociation to qualify for some diagnosis (not DID). I also have poor object permanence and interroception, tend to personify anything and everything to a detriment (I apologize to the table after I stub my toe ._.), and refer to myself interchangeably as "I," "you," and "we." Usually not to other people, though. It's very nice to meet you ^^
Feel free to ask me any questions! Nothing is off limits, and if I ever get uncomfortable, I'll tell you immediately.
And finally, here's to hoping that hyperfixation doesn't rear its ugly head again now. I can already feel it lurking in the depths of my brain, going "*-* but are you sure-" yes. I'm sure.
Wanda
Level 74
The Perfectionist
Joined: 3/10/2018
Threads: 207
Posts: 1,925
Posted: 5/30/2023 at 12:08 PM
Post #23
Can you ping me again and when I get home tonight I will answer all of your questions! Just ping me so I don't forget please lol.
Snowydays
Level 75
Stocking Stuffer
Joined: 3/19/2018
Threads: 32
Posts: 824
Posted: 5/30/2023 at 2:59 PM
Post #24
Lol, yeah sure ^^
Wanda
Level 74
The Perfectionist
Joined: 3/10/2018
Threads: 207
Posts: 1,925
Posted: 5/30/2023 at 8:27 PM
Post #25
Okay home now so I can answer some questions.
Starting out, currently Grace and Ozpin are fronting. We are the two main fronters. A lot of the time we will front together. This is because it is easier to mask as one person when we are working together.
Second, Pebbles is one of our littles, she rarely fronts as she is a trauma holder. They remember the trauma the most vividly so they mostly stay in headspace that way they can escape reality so to say.
Which that takes us to our headspace. Ours is a nice suburban home that always has enough bedrooms for everybody. Each alter has their own room where they can escape if they need to. There is also a big kitchen attached to a large living room which is where most alters hang out all the time. The front so to say is an office in the house.
Generally we will only switch once or twice a day. However switching can be more frequent due to stress, and over stimulation. Each alter also has things that they are better at dealing with. For example, I (grace) am super easily over stimulated so when that happens, Oz usually takes over because he is much better at grounding us and removing us from the situation that way I can get my bearings again. If Oz is not present when that happens, usually anyone near will step in but usually it results in us shutting down because of me retreating to our headspace and essentially no one fronting. Switches can also be caused by doing things that certain alters like, for example some of the littles like to front whenever we are at the pet store. Finnley, one of our newest alters) tends to front whenever we are outside in nature.
You can also feel when alters are near the front, for us it is essentially someone standing in the doorway to the office, they aren't in the office but they are very close. So they can kinda see what is happening but they can't control anything happening. They can however communicate with the fronters (sometimes). When an alter hangs out there and then switches in they experience a "grey out", however when someone comes directly from the headspace to front have a "black out" where they do not remember anything that happened outside from while they were in the headspace.
Most of us all get along pretty well. Think of it as a large family. We have our squabbles with each other every once in awhile but most of the time we get along just fine.
So unintentional faking, it happens ALOT. So don't sweat it. DID has a lot of symptoms and it effects everything in your day to day life, so it is easy to look at a list of symptoms and think, "check, check, check, check" when in reality those same symptoms line up with 14 other different disorders too. Unless you intend harm by it or go out of your way to get attention from it or use it for clout then its not that bad. You realized that you didn't have it so you stopped. That is good.
Most characters that you see portrayed in tv and books are severely bipolar or have borderline personality disorder and are not systems. The easiest way to tall is in the subtle mannerisms and whether or not they remember what happened when the other was fronting. A common example of DID in books and shows is Jeckl and Hyde, when either of them is fronting they have absolutely no memory of the time while they were in headspace.
If there are two or more distinct personalities, the character either has DID or OSDD. OSDD has its own list of qualifications that I dont remember off the top of my head.
Hope this helps! I'm happy to answer any other questions that you have!
Snowydays
Level 75
Stocking Stuffer
Joined: 3/19/2018
Threads: 32
Posts: 824
Posted: 5/30/2023 at 11:05 PM
Post #26
:crying just a little in a good way: I barely know anything about Pebbles but I already wanna hug her ;u;
I'm really glad to hear that you all get along pretty well! And a lot of what you said actually lines up really well with my more recent character who has DID-adjacent (I call it "magic DID" actually, since they're a magical species ^^) so I'm glad to know I stumbled upon something semi-realistic.
I was more so asking about your thoughts/opinions on these characters that hint or denote being systems. Like, are any of them offensive, or do you like seeing the representation?
Anyway, I don't want to keep rambling on to you, so I won't ask anything else. But I'm still open to any questions you might have for me ^^ thanks for answering!
Wanda
Level 74
The Perfectionist
Joined: 3/10/2018
Threads: 207
Posts: 1,925
Posted: 5/31/2023 at 10:20 PM
Post #27
As long as the representation is accurate and does not paint DID in a negative light (i.e. violent, schizophrenic, crazy or disabled) I do not mind it! I enjoy seeing true representation.
Lexi65
Level 26
Joined: 6/24/2023
Threads: 9
Posts: 28
Posted: 7/4/2023 at 10:43 PM
Post #28
im lexi i got ADHD and it SUCKS but its also AMAZING i also have :anxity,dislexia and-i just herd a realy loud firework AtintionDistractedHiperDumbut or ADHD also im prety shure if you have adhd you are otomaticly on the autisim spectrum source-my mom (who is a nurse)
have you ever
1:coverd your ears then heard ECRYTHING 5x louder to the point the sound of paper fisicly herts
2: got up from your desk in the midel of the leson at scool and played with the pinsol sharpener on the other side of the clasroom then prouseeded to spin in sircols on the groud infront of the HOLE clasroom.
if yes to eather of these get some help why are you so much like me also why am i a sycho who does this can somwone pleas explain why i do this about 2 times a year (im 9 years old and turning 10 in about a month) is it like an adhd thing or maby autisim or somthing pleas tell me why im like this T-T
(i mite sound like i hate my ADHD but i love it its becous of my ADHD im in 2 extra clases for particulerly gifted kids and im at the very top of both of those [i got the hiest grades in my grade])
and i know i made exactly (acording to the red lines) 35 speling mistakes (now 36 since i spelled speling [speled that rong to] rong) thanks dislexia (which i also spelld rong i give up on spelling i hate inglish T-T (also spelled rong)
Lexi65
Level 26
Joined: 6/24/2023
Threads: 9
Posts: 28
Posted: 7/5/2023 at 9:38 AM
Post #29
im lexi i got ADHD and it SUCKS but its also AMAZING i also have :anxity,dislexia and-i just herd a realy loud firework AtintionDistractedHiperDumbut or ADHD also im prety shure if you have adhd you are otomaticly on the autisim spectrum source-my mom (who is a nurse)
have you ever
1:coverd your ears then heard EVRYTHING 5x louder to the point the sound of paper crumpilying fisicly herts
2: got up from your desk in the midel of the leson at scool and played with the broken pinsol sharpener on the other side of the clasroom then prouseeded to spin in sircols on the groud infront of the HOLE clasroom.
if yes to eather of these get some help why are you so much like me also why am i a sycho who does this can somwone pleas explain why i do this about 2 times a year (im 9 years old and turning 10 in about a month) is it like an adhd thing or maby autisim or somthing pleas tell me why im like this T-T
(i mite sound like i hate my ADHD but i love it its becous of my ADHD im in 2 extra clases for particulerly gifted kids and im at the very top of both of those [i got the hiest grades in my grade])
and i know i made exactly (acording to the red lines) 35 speling mistakes (now 36 since i spelled speling [speled that rong to] rong) thanks dislexia (which i also spelld rong i give up on spelling i hate inglish T-T (also spelled rong)
(also why are broken pinsole sharpeners so goddam interesting)
Edited By Lexi65 on 7/5/2023 at 9:40 AM.
Lexi65
Level 26
Joined: 6/24/2023
Threads: 9
Posts: 28
Posted: 7/5/2023 at 11:51 AM
Post #30
remember the thing i said about things beaing 5x louder its hapining now and im crying and does anywone know why this is hapening pleas tell me and the sound of my grany stiring with a metal spoon is horiblr its beter sinse i have headphones on (not playing anything but the sound of mateal on metal is T_T and im terifyd to takke of my headphones this has never hapend at home before only at scool T-T
pleas tell me why is this hapining
Edited By Lexi65 on 7/5/2023 at 11:54 AM.
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