Link: https://www.sylestia.com/forums/?thread=77071&page=1#2 Author: Scoutwolf Time Posted: 5/19/2019 at 5:33 PM Rays of sun were just pushing through the dark grey when Ptera finally fell asleep. It wasn't every day -er, night- that a Ryori tears your wing, meaning flightlessness, and you get dropped in a cage in a room full of hungry soldier Morkko's and Draeyl's. The night had seemed to stretch on forever until they all nodded off. Even then, Ptera couldnt fall asleep for the fear they were pretending. So the night had been spent with Ptera watching ever so dutifully. And only when the rays of sun shone brightly through her eyelids, Ptera realized that she had fallen asleep at one time. Ptera shook her wings, and then traveled, by foot, to the nearest bar of the bird cage. She could easily sneak away. She just had to time it all right. And the timing meant just becoming a part of the background, not being of any attention. *** Flamingblood wasn't actually her name. It was Ash, but the other sounded more creepy, so she choose the former name to be most commonly known as. But, as of now, she just was called Ash. Especially around the palace where Her glorious Majesty lived. The place she could call home. Ash was the outcast in most places, that was why the queen took her under her wing. Either because of that or because she was one mean killing machine that the queen just wanted to add to her ranks. Ash tried to sink that thought, but even after at least seven years fighting for the queen and learning tricks and tips, it still surfaced like a breaching whale, poising bigger every time. Ash shook her head to clear it. Those thoughts were worthily mutiny. It wouldn't do. Ash trotted around the corner, and bumped into a Lupora. At first, she was a tiny bit ticked that she had been run into, and a tiny bit confused why there would be a Lupora on the loose, and a tiny bit of shock with who she guessed it was. And then all of that melted into a sense of dread, as she realized she was standing in front of someone with lots of power in the kingdom. "Sorry!" The Lupora cried. I'm the one that is supposed to be sorry, Ash tried to say. It came out, 'Ar...Arpf.' *** Hunter charged out of the palace, not that pleased with his mothers decisions. "I don't care!" He yelled up into the clouded sky and whistling wind, somehow wondering if she could hear him. "Do what you please! Apparently you don't care about me, so I just don't care!" Hunter pounded down the front steps, gaining speed on the uneven and downward floor. He stumbled on the last couple steps, but he didn't fall. He never fell. Hunter raged across the grounds like a tornado, nothing where he had been living to tell the tale. His anger steered him in the direction of his garden, and he didn't object. His garden, other than the night sky, was a refuge. The garden was actually not that big or fancy or anything. It was just a tiny place, where, somehow, Hunter had managed to get all the flowers and plants into the constellations in the dark. There was always a spot for more if another was found. Nearly everyone passed over the meaning, of course, and mocked Hunter as a fool and a freak. Just because taking care of his little garden made him an outcast, once he tried uprooting it. It had been hours later until his mom had found him in the middle of it, only a pawful of dirt uprooted, and the little pup crying softly to himself. Hunter had already grown too attached to the daytime constellations on that little spot of earth. Again, his mom found a place to lecture him in being stone hearted and not listening to others, but keeping with the news well enough so you didn't become unpopular and things like that. Unfocused, Hunter rounded a bend and knocked into someone. Stunned, Hunter took a step back, shook his head, and looked at the one he had run into. "Sorry," he said automatically.

the champion part sounds almost copied and pasted from wings of fire

ReAlLy? *reads the book* Oh, man. Sorry. Didn't realize that. ... :3
Oh-kay....
I'll just leave it like so because I didn't even plan on that.

(Sorry for this being short. Writer's block is real folks.)
Hunter glanced at his friends, and decided not to be the bearer of bad news. Kamra was chatting merrily with Pteron, Aizea was trying to figure out the right way to go, and Caw was just jumping at everything, looking occasionally back at Hunter with a look of Hunter decided he didnt even want to decipher that one.
He bowed his head, and just followed the group, padding along as if that was the only thing left he could do. And it was. At least until he had the rest of his family, the royal seal, and then - had there been another thing to do? Hunter pushed down the oncoming rush of fear.
No, he was sure he was remembering everything. He had to. Ash's life depended on it. And in a way, so did Hunter's own.
"Aha! Here we are!" Aizea said, scrambling forward over rocks a few more feet. When they all reached the summit, Hunter felt, how do you say it, dead. The feeling might have come from the long travel. It might have come from the knowledge that his friend might die. It might have come from knowing time was running out.
Or it might have come from seeing a small well armed and prepared army at the gate, most glaring at his direction.

(I definitely didn't forget about this. Just didn't know what to write. Forgive me if this isn't as connected or doesn't flow as nicely as the others. I had written some of this - Ash's part had been so much better - before what I had written was deleted instead of saved. ... Sorry. Um... hope you had a great holiday, and have a happy New Year.)

Ash sharpens her claws on a rock, fearing that soon she would have to use them again. When her claws were sharpened to her liking, Ash hangs her head as she suddenly realized how her previous opponents must have felt. She curls into a tight ball, feeling absolutely terrible.
It was irony, really.
The keeper of the prison becoming the prisoner; the majestic hunter becoming prey. Some feeling(s) stirs deep in her chest, and Ash takes a moment to figure out what she is feeling. She wasn't used to it, and it had only been felt once and long ago.
What was it called? Hopelessness. Helplessness. Loneliness. Fear. Shuddering, Ash closes her stinging eyes tight against the tears that threatened to fall.
How much longer would Hunter take?
Would Ash have that much time?
It was clear that time was running out. The guards had grown nicer because... three more days. That's how long Ash had to live. Holding back a sob, Ash told herself to wait, to hold on a while longer, before trying to escape on her own.
Just three more days.
Sending out a silent plea, Ash thinks desperately, Oh, please, Hunter. Whatever you are doing, do it faster.

***

Hunter glances at the army outside the wall, fearing the worst and calculating odds and ends in his mind. A plan clicked in place, and he whirls to face his siblings.
"Guys, I need your help." Hunter says, placing a paw on both of their chests so they wouldn't run to their home. Caw gives him a withering glare, and Hunter takes his siblings aside. Mostly to get away from Caw's gaze, but that doesn't have to be noted.
"Okay, so I have someone important to me that's in grave danger. She is going to die if I don't give the captors what they want in exchange for her. I have one thing, but I need two more. Those two I'm not so willing to give up as easily. I'm asking you guys for your help. I know you hardly know me, but I am pleading you to help me help her." Hunter says. Aizea gives his older brother a knowing smile. Kamra stays silent till Hunter says all he needs before giving him a mischievous smile.
"What do you need to help save this significant other?" Kamra teases. Hunter takes a step back, not realizing what his siblings had thought of him when he had mentioned Ash being female.
"Wait, what? No! She's not like that. She's already taken. And she's not a maiden in distress because I am no knight in shining armor. He is." Hunter says, pointing a paw to his brother. Aizea laughs, and places a paw on Hunter's shoulder.
"Okay than what's the plan to save this definitely-taken-totally-not-maiden-in-distress character?" Kamra says. Aizea bumps her lightly so she would stop talking.
"Sorry for that. She were just teasing, but will try to do better. Spill the plans. Let's hear what you've got." Aizea says to Hunter.
Hunter smiles gratefully at him, before continuing his plan. At times, Kamra and Aizea puts in suggestions and questions, but in the end, they had a pretty solid plan. Except for one possible thing...
"Now, let's go see if I still hold my role in the guard." Aizea says, trotting forward, towards the army, towards the wall, towards the other kingdom.
Towards certain destruction.

***

Pteron watches her friends move forward, flitting above them to be the eyes in the sky. Sure, she wasn't really paying attention, but who could blame her. She was so close to home! Humming to herself, she landed on the wall.
"Well hello, wall. I missed you. How are you today? Haven't dropped any more guards, right? Good. Now let me go check on my friends." She says, flying back up towards the sky before landing neatly on Kamra's head.
"So... What's the plan?" Pteron asks.
"Not much of a plan. First, we have to see if Aizea has any position in the guard still." Kamra says. Pteron quiets and stills, realizing that Kamra and Aizea really had risked it all by accidentally or purposefully going to the other side.
Their life wouldn't be the same by the end of... whatever this turned out to be.
No one's would.

Very nice writing and thank you for keeping this going.

Thanks for reading!
^w^

~ A big thanks to anyone who is reading this. This is the farthest I've ever gone in any story. Story line/plot/whatever. This is by far the farthest I've ever written. Sorry if I take longer to figure out how to continue it, please be patient. I'll update as soon as possible! ~
Thank you all,
Scout

Hunter paces outside of the office, waiting for Aizea to come out. Of course, it wasn't any easier for Kamra, who had just been reunited with her brother. And now that he was on the opposite side of another wall, she wasn't taking it very well.
"I can't believe it. If this city is really fair, you'd think I would be able to go in with my brother." Kamra huffs.
Hunter sits down, and calmly replies, I know from experience that this place is better than my moms kingdom. Kamra rolls her eyes and remarks,
I know that. Its just that these people can be a little bit nicer. I think Ive gotten a fear of walls and separation over the period of our trip.
Youre not separated from me. Hunter tries to cheer her up. Kamra gives him a withering look, and Hunter shuts his mouth with an audible snap.
Youre not Aizea. You are from the other side, and I could consider you an enemy. The only thing is that were blood tied, and - hey, look at that, the door is opening! Kamra places herself right outside the door and waits for it to open completely so she could be the first to greet her brother.
Aizea walks out with another, older, meaner looking guard, and nearly trips over Kamra. Oh, hey there! How was the wait? I have the best news. Aizea says, charging ahead of the conversation, not giving Kamra time to reply. Kamra wasnt annoyed, she just trots next to Aizea, eagerly awaiting his news.
What is it? Hunter asks, urging Aizea on.
"We got soldiers. I have my position back, the guy who took my place was lousy. Um yeah! We get to end this war at last!" Aizea says all in a rush.
"There's one condition though." The older lupora says.
"What condition?" Aizea asks.
"The little one stays." The Lupora says, pointing at Kamra.
"Me? Why?" She protests.
"You crossed our borders without an excuse, and therefore, you are a traitor. Plus, we're doing your brother a favor by keeping you safe in a room."
"But I do have an excuse. My brother! I went to rescue him." Kamra protests.
"Then our deal is off." The Lupora starts to walk off.
"No! Wait!" Karma says. "I'll stay. As long as you promise to let me go when my brother gets back."
"Deal." The Lupora nods and Aizea, Hunter, and all those guards - Caw decided to stay behind to settle into the Great City - they all go to save Flamingblood, leaving Kamra on the other side of the wall.
Again.

THE END - of part two

(Any tips and/or writing tricks are welcome. ^w^ Thank you for reading. I want to put The End of Part Two here, and create Part Three, but wondering if this is an awkward place to end... feedback on that is welcome, thank you.)

This is accually a good place to leave off part two since it's a transition from the dungeons to the war itself. Try to use quotes when your characters are speaking (you did for the most part it's just a few tiny mistakes) such as 'Hunter sits down and calmly replies, (comma before quotes or after depending on where the said or action for the speaking is) "I know from experaine that this place is better then my mom's kingdom." (it is Hunter's mother's kingdom and he has one mother not many). 'Kamara rolls her eyes and reamrks,' (Should be with it's statement not with the paragraph above it (it is it's own paragraph) ("I know that it's just that these people can be a little bit nicer. I think I've gotten a fear of walls and seperation over the period of our trip."
Sorry for being so nitpicking but aide from a few puncation errors it i very good also following along with the plot.