6.
I am not good at focusing.
This should not surprise anyone at this point, I think.
I am not good at studying.
It is a matter of following the logic here, really.

But sometimes it makes me feel nice
to play a Lofi track on Youtube (Smyang Piano is my favorite, especially his original stuff)
and sitting in a sun warm spot (like a cat)
and letting my mind be quiet while I take notes.

Because the

Bum-
-tea-
-dums

with the

sha-
-la-
-shhhhs

Make the noise outside my head
match the static inside my head
and maybe that isn't the best for focusing
but maybe it's a careful equilibrium.

Coffee is good too.
Warm and bitter spreading across my tongue
reminds me to keep breathing.
But now no caffeine after three in the evening.

7.
Anxiety is not always something I can name
Sometimes it is

Sometimes, it is a distinct fear of people
Fear of places
Even though these people and places are not unknown to me

I cannot control people
Nor the spaces they occupy
It is scarier than it should be
I am afraid of being hurt

Fear of peopleplacescontrol causes the snake of anxiety to shift
It curls like a boa constrictor
Around my lungs
Holding me so tightly I cannot breathe
And darkness spots my vision

I am afraid.