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Forum Index > Other Fiction > I will help ANYONE with a story
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Author Thread Post
Dracornpotato
Level 68
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 3/11/2016
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,014
Posted: 3/27/2017 at 6:57 PM Post #1
HI! I am DracornPotato! If you want me to revise and review any stories you are writing, help you come up with a prompt, or help you with a writer's block, you have come to the right place! I will give you feedback and help with your stories. Just give me a ping and INCLUDE THE THREAD LINK and tell me what you need, and I'll be happy to help you out.




I am currently working on one with somebody else, so please hold off on these, since I have two other people on hold

Hi! I am DracornPotato, and I am willing to help ANYONE with a story. But I'm only taking one person at a time. Whoever posts on this thread first with an inspirational idea, then I will help them with a story. I LOVE TO WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE AND ETC. ETC. ETC.
So, I would LOVE to team up with somebody and write a SUPER AWESOME STORY with them.

Please post on this thread and give me a ping!
Edited By Dracornpotato on 11/18/2017 at 6:29 PM.
Aisybell
Level 60
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 12/9/2016
Threads: 11
Posts: 355
Posted: 4/7/2017 at 11:25 AM Post #2
Hi! I saw this, and I was wondering if you would read over my two current stories here (Dragons and The Jamaaliday Wish) and tell me what you think? I want help spotting any plot holes, or problems, and things like that. I want to make my stories as clean and smooth as possible.
Dracornpotato
Level 68
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 3/11/2016
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,014
Posted: 4/19/2017 at 5:11 PM Post #3
Hey! I read through "Dragons" and I though it was good, but there are a few things I would like to correct, if that's alright. I apologize if any of this sounds slightly insulting. Please let me know if any of it is. I don't mean to!

I understand that you are describing Nero, but you are saying the same descriptions over and over again:

Vibrant yellow and black
Purple Diamond eyes
Reptilian(there were DEFINITELY places where this was necassary, but there were also places were you didn't need this word)

Also, there were places where you started a sentence, and then forgot that you had already said something and repeated it in that same sentence. I do this too by accident sometimes! Here is an example:

"He readied himself, slowly getting back onto his feet, readying himself, the thought of his leg reminding him."


There were a couple sentences that were missing words:

"Her hand turned the in but froze at the last moment..."
"Making sure is house had to be hers, he reached out and very slightly scratched at the door with his forearms."
Dracornpotato
Level 68
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 3/11/2016
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,014
Posted: 4/19/2017 at 5:37 PM Post #4
I read "The Jamaaliday Wish" and thought it was really good. The only hole in there is that Danny doesn't truly worry as much as he should right after he figures out that Holly made it snow and she wasn't answering any of questions. He's really only waving them off, like "Whatever." But before the thing with the snow, he was "appropriatly" worried.
But the rest of it was great! Very mysterious, and suspensful. Loved them both!
AtomicBomb354
Level 61
Joined: 2/17/2016
Threads: 4
Posts: 386
Posted: 4/20/2017 at 8:39 AM Post #5
Hello!

I was just wondering, would you be interested in reviewing my story The Candy Princess? I would really like to hear someone else's opinion on it, especially on the elements that perhaps aren't as good.

Also, regarding the main focus of the thread, I would be happy to write a collaborative story with you :)
Nafariaandulin
Level 57
Fright Master
Joined: 1/10/2017
Threads: 102
Posts: 3,672
Posted: 4/20/2017 at 1:42 PM Post #6
I'm not very confident at writing stories, but I was wondering if you have any constructive criticism on my story: A Friendly Gathering of Foes

(Btw, I've got writer's block, so if you'd like to team up on a story, I'm open.)
Edited By Nafariaandulin on 4/20/2017 at 1:51 PM.
Dracornpotato
Level 68
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 3/11/2016
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,014
Posted: 4/21/2017 at 2:44 PM Post #7
Hello!
I red over "The Candy Princess and thought it was amazing. There was nothing that I saw that was weirdly out of place, and everything was well set. And because you are the first to ping me about this, we can write a story together. I will create a new thread and ping you on the first post so you can get to it.

But first, do you want to do a Fan Fiction, or something in the "Other" category?

DracornPotato
Edited By Dracornpotato on 4/21/2017 at 2:52 PM.
Dracornpotato
Level 68
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 3/11/2016
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,014
Posted: 4/21/2017 at 2:51 PM Post #8
I looked at "A Friendly Gathering of Foes" and I thought it was a pretty good story. It was humorous and interesting. The only thing is, in the beginning, you did a good job describing the way Giovanni did not want to go, but the whole thing with going anyway was kind of... "too quick." After he complained, he suddenly just switched and said, "Okay, I'm going!" So yeah. that was the only thing. The rest of it was great!


And(though I would be happy to do it later), I am sorry, but I cannot write a story with you yet, due to the rules in the first post. Someone pinged before you, so I will write a story with them, but I will do it with you later if you are still up for it!

DracornPotato
AtomicBomb354
Level 61
Joined: 2/17/2016
Threads: 4
Posts: 386
Posted: 4/21/2017 at 4:19 PM Post #9
Thanks for the feedback! :)

I'm happy to do anything, whether it be fan-fiction or in 'Other' - though perhaps it would be nice to be a little more experimental and go with 'Other'. Ultimately, it depends on what you're up for writing in terms of genre.

Edit: Just wondering - would it be better to discuss the plot etc in PMs?
Edited By AtomicBomb354 on 4/21/2017 at 4:20 PM.
Hawke
Level 73
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 7/7/2013
Threads: 324
Posts: 16,550
Posted: 4/25/2017 at 2:40 PM Post #10
https://www.sylestia.com/forums/?thread=45913
Hello! I would be more than happy to give some pointers. Story in link, hope you like it!
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